Matriarch mastermind manipulated minions rang their hells bells signifying damned to traverse highway to hell dirty deeds done dirt cheap (names changed fo' malady cuz they got thunderstruck with psychological trauma). Preface: Upon bitterly cold dawning hours of January 2000, the Harns family (not actual name of real persons constituting yours truly mine wife and at that time deux darling very young daughters) desperately sought place to live. Neon Swat Team (an independent realtor) politely informed us (meaning myself and the missus), our family lease would not be renewable. The reason without a rhyme? Ever since events initially laid forth as poem, I delightfully witnessed birth of daughter number two February 4th, 1999, (whose existence this papa helped beget approximately nine months prior), now twenty two plus years passed rendering contractual non-binding obligation null and void - whew. Even though then barely tipping scales at less than ten pounds of flesh, (this bundle of sugar, spice and everything nice, especially when adorned in pink bows inclusive), she warranted unlawful occupancy capacity subsequently exceeding one plus bedroom apartment in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania. Body quasi poetic/prosaic minimally couched, sunk, tabled... within wordy mosaic: We reckoned to live temporarily at premises vacated by mother in law from hell (since recent death of her husband, whose after life settled him in Willoughby) domicile situated at 1148 Tree Green Lane (a cozy and lazy keystone chic urban outfitted hamlet tucked into totally tubular foothills of Venn Palley, Pennsylvania), a nook of quaintness plum perfect where rivers Ratford Upon Savon converged. A final decision where matriarch (widowed Sia), would live unanimously decreed by dee two elder snide heard twisted sisters of thine wife. They made final decision to relocate black widow closer to middle sibling, (who resided, and still lives in Paradise). Authoritarianism overruled and over rode desperate pleas from Zion scion in mourning (sh va ring), whose many sentimental bric a brac damned memories and paraphernalia filled every nook and cranny of our then emergency address, which purportedly brief tenancy (attested, linkedin, predicated, stipulated... to so called gentlemans' agreement – purported verbal pact unintentionally violated) witnessed ceaseless besieging from wuthering heights, bruiting base bare-knuckle skirmishes commencing soon after day One, when we decamped within hoity -toity Mainline. Do to accumulative (generations worth) cloudy fifty shades of gray prized possessions, an irrevocable non clear voyance, viz summoning forth prognostication, alternately what would presage implacable brick bats hurled at us. Soothsayer mulled, peered, and stared into vintage crystal ball hesitant to offer prediction, (a common practice before afore mentioned treasures bequeathed to upcoming next of kin), could not be countenanced until deemed (Rabbi – representing ultra orthodox religious custom) spoke blessing referencing woebegone spirit of deceased into realm of nonlivingsocial avast capitolone enlightened gateway. Little could we foresee blitzkrieg, cannonading, incessant strafe carpet bombing bloody onslaught from the generation of vipers, viz soon after schlepping ourselves, precious progeny cargo, and other sundry and various trappings within thee aforementioned dwelling. Upon immediate realization concerning ill suited habitation apparently revelation offered inconvenient truth us Earthlings upended tipping point think their very existence precariously, hazardously, and frightfully balanced. At that time, he (meaning this writer), who attended either CHI Trade School in Broomall, Pennsylvania or The Chubb Institute location - Springfield, Pennsylvania (despite distance and travel time to and from said vocational facility much more manageable, feasible, agreeable commuting to trade school from Lower Merion), otherwise every other aspect of this move (meaning suitability for young family) served as fodder for emotional gristmill. Warfare subsequently declared upon pseudonymous unit teary yon household soon after hunkering down within said tract housing unit, a fusillade fired off re: porting volleys of character assassination bombarded this soldier of misfortune and clearly implicated for being a non Jewish schlemiel inducing endless economic doomsday after siring winter borne offspring. Proximity to aforesaid trade school(s), nor convenience to many markets, we (thy robin to this Scottish batman) could not mitigate against defencelessness, helplessness nor lucklessness to ward off volatile plague coalescing, manifesting, shape shifting quickly registering sortie as... shiver me timbers!

As a solitary but not lonely kid, my overactive imagination oft times bordered on being so realistic easily mimicking hallucination. Said phenomena most pronounced when this lad soundly slumbering. Oft stated, many times, no surprise such evocative manifestations arose particularly during deep sleep. I could not differentiate vivid dreams versus the actual wakeful state, nor could one iota be recalled once wakefulness recurred. A theoretical hunch (this concluded many years, (albeit decades) elapsed after being expelled, where I subsequently followed secular specifically atheistic pendulum swing. Hence difficulty to recount nearly forgotten unpleasant experiences with one hundred percent accuracy. A strong conviction plethora comprising vivid realistic images arose after yours truly most submerged into mine deep subconscious. Although impossible mission to validate, usual, typical, and spatial mental activity happened during rapid eye movement phases constituting requisite rejuvenation regarding how most any sensate being coped with daily regular trials and tribulations, plus unexpected series of events (fortunate and/or otherwise). Without shadow doubt (analogous whether Punxsutawney Phil does/does not see his shadow), a substantial proportion regarding quotidian circumstances directly arose linkedin, and stemmed from an Ultra Orthodox religious environment. My boyhood grounded, planted, and rooted within strict religious upbringing. Such rigorous educational experience most definitely incorporated (as physical scars as proof positive testament) corporal punishment utilized even for minor infractions, whose reciprocal equated to one swiftly tailored kick (courtesy enthusiastic headmaster or mistress), would trace a parabolic arc, whereby heavy duty steel tipped boot would non bashfully make painful contact where sun don't shine, but numb moon waxes. This difficulty to ascertain, distinguish, and identify make believe private slumber party (solely intended for yours truly) i.e.avast panoply integrating psychedelic colored places from the fully conscious condition supposedly being wide awake, would frequently render aspects of my alter ego mind boggling. Oft times difficulty prevailed differentiating between steady state of unequivocal consciousness versus comatose like body at rest. Repression against arbitrarily "sinful" verbal expression found immediate punishment (if not courtesy mouthful soapy dishwater, or awful standby did not do the trick), utilizing other special bitter treats would be employed. Should these "Iron Maidens" discern even the faintest "Elvis curled lip" hinting at potential suggestion lip syncing strung expletives wrought subjecting unfortunate lad/lass peppered with writing bajillion times, "I haint gonna use cuss words no more, or variations on theme thereof. Obviously forfeiture forcibly surrendered, when virtuous behavior earned ticket to attend (with mandatory supervision) "Black Sabbath", that occurred during the most ideal "Weeknd" when the least poison huss "Air Supply" hung over these horrible halls! A strict Catholic upbringing, where Sisters required themselves to be addressed as "Mother, this, that or the other" taught never forgotten with red hot poker and iron fist. They discovered long ago that forcing soapy water down the throat (oven impudent brat) followed by a chaser of piss, swill, vinegar quickly, or some other awful concoction (just a cat whisker shy of being deadly) squelched subsequent bouts of obscenities. If even so much as simply silently mouthing or cleverly employing dark art of ventriloquism obviously ejaculating favorite colorful (minuscule percentage) of "vile considered" English vocabulary no mercy would be shown to the entire class. "What the f**k" thought I thyself. One chum may as well blurt out the entire lexicon of vulgar if the same punishment befell a sorry lad mentally sounding out even slightest trace of one letter comprising fowl mouth, which bound the quasi epithet "guttersnipe" issued only by authoritarian figures to a reasonably large disproportion among ordinarily respectable ruminating runts deported back to his/her purported home country. Found guilty of "salty sailor speak," (even though the chief prioress never mentioned the Navy, one would sent to the "brig," which conveniently doubled up as superior isolation to guarantee lifelong lachrymose. Vicious vice squads forcefully chaperoned any hashtagged individuals incorrigible delinquents, yet no classmate could honestly be expected to house knowledge spanning entire objectionable colloquialisms, many long since out of usage within lingua franca lexicon. Subsequently, any male/female got knocked, pegged, and ranked for his entire tutelage, lasting no more than an eon. Such unknown obsolete vulgar words ranked right up there as unforgivable crimes and misdemeanors alongside figurative chart of currently trending "taboo" terms.

At some indeterminate hour this afternoon (May 4, 2003), a guardian angel (or perchance more than one) hovered, spread protective wings, sprinkled stardust and expanded invisible spirit close overhead the innocent presence of our youngest offspring. Shana Aubrey Harris strayed away from her older sister (Eden Liat Harris) while both of the girls waited in line to experience the dry land attraction Ernie's Bed Bounce at Sesame Place (Langhorne, Pennsylvania location). In the blink of an eye, she obviously wandered into the din and melee of the crowd and seemed to vanish in thin air. We suddenly espied her ready to take the jump and leap into this large, springy air mattress. I let out a quick and short-lived sigh of relief. As if fate played a cruel hoax, joke akin to mirage oasis seen in the dessert, and trick on my eyes, this darling daughter no longer visible. I gingerly walked to the spot whence these eyes gleaned the diminutive four plus year old frame with nary a trace. In a state of high anxiety and panic, we retraced each and every square inch such a little creature could cover. A blind fear took possession of this otherwise calm, cool and collected male. An electric shock of horror rent the psyche asunder per my ordinarily blithe and tranquil spirit. Mad haphazard dashing movements hither and yon (with near calamitous collisions with various and sundry sized adults and children) inexplicably reunited this discombobulated father with his unperturbed progeny, who clung to such precious prized possession with tender, powerful love. Needless to say, an acknowledgement dearly paid to the mysterious forces of the cosmos. Silent thanks continually communicated and offered to that higher power (manual gesticulations to boot), which benevolent and positive force (which supposedly reside in some heavenly gilded vault) visited us (twice) as a savior that offered such dramatic salvation. Penance (Mike A.)still continued to be proffered (in more ample doses than usual) when exiting the parking area via a genuine token wave of the (left or right) hand to allow, enable and provide other visitors to leave and head home with their respective charges in tow. The object lesson delivered from this brief frenetic fright (which seemed to last an eternity) led to a personal re-awakening and self-actualization within my mental, physical and spiritual entity. Intense and profound surges of sentiments (foremost among these emotions epitomized by unbridled care and concern for this special and unique gift reproductive powers of flesh, bone and blood organic product) forced self-loathing to surface per the countless occasions anger and impatience flared toward the particular, pesky, predilections pronounced upon the biological product, who elicits some type of developmental delay. Rather than keep in check the near automatic bellicose and fairly frequent reactions (especially on account of quite challenging behavioral patterns as exemplified by a victim of biological circumstance), I readily admit to frazzled and frenzied tones of anger. No sooner does this explosive language escape my mouth, than immediate grief, regret and sympathy wells up inside. Verbal assault undeserved, unfair, unhealthy, unjustified, unloved and unnecessary especially when the child in question cannot be held accountable for inherent genetic weaknesses. Rather than respond with clenched (major artery and vein popping) jaw and hands (whereby whites of the knuckles show up clearly), the subtle realization dawned (quite some time age), that a much more sensitive and tender hearted response must be practiced (not just preached) in an effort to benefit the proper emotional development (aforementioned) lass of these tenderloins. An unfair disadvantage (no doubt) prevails with a recognized diagnosis of Autism (which syndrome affixed with the attendant clause not otherwise specified associated to the condition and affliction of Shana Aubrey), which disability and/or handicap sets the stage for unanticipated struggle, an unspecified number of years into the future. Whatever underlying causes (thus far only speculative hypothesis aired and offered as possible explanations for such obvious language verbalization skill deficiencies), the penultimate relationship (extant between this here daddy and second (last) female kin) reverberated loud and clear and registered an apotheosis of passionate ambition (akin to a religious moment of revelation and/or salvation) at the teary-eyed prospect (yet thankfully brief episode) of irrevocable and permanent loss. This wake-up call (to remain diligently keen to obliviousness sans danger in the outlying fields), an appeal to modify mean methodology and also appreciate those latent, natural strengths evident in the manual abilities bestowed upon this child. Many another boy and girl in much more confined, limited and plagued (by worse congenital conditions) as evidenced by the plethora of individuals in wheelchairs.

Nod duh amount of collusion can Lyft my natural tentative Uber Vudu wired yik yak zen based deep fried Googly eyed Hulu (indeed) jibber jabber ring kickstarting livingsocial Myspace! Thus, this circumspect, dapper, electronically fitbit groupon heretic individualist jangles kickstarter linkedin motive narrating outlook pertaining to various technological innovations suddenly become good and plenti during the latter half of his three score orbitz, while travelocity on this oblate spheroid. Unlike deux daughters, (the youngest merely twenty anniversaries removed from her birth February 4th 2019, and the eldest approximately twenty six months), who both got weaned on the ABC's of computer accouterments during kindergarten, this dada Dinosaur quaintly recalls the old fashioned desks with inkwells meant for dunking ponytails. As an obedient quite quiet lad, no shenanigans, (asper dipping hair into unnatural shade of black or blue, and subsequently receiving the same hue SMACK a roo right in the kisser deftly delivered courtesy of strongest girl in class) attests his memories tend to be rather unexciting. Hence fast forward to this moment (just for an interim before revisiting days of bashful boyhood), and allow me to elucidate my affinity for prevarication, especially to entice the eyes of an unknown reader. Thus let me return to sitting with perfect posture. The one classroom per grade little red brick schoolhouse (constructed by bachelor non E. Grieg guess Norwegian farmers) devoid of any electronic paraphernalia. Wick head looking candles illuminated each alcove. The general electric fan perhaps the only non manually operated contraption. Hardwood benumbed bumstead now replaced with comfortable faux leather easy chairs with upteen gizmos for the average student to remain self occupied, while the teacher absent mindedly fiddles with her/his handy dandy palm size sophisticated snapping, crackling, and popping wireless fidelity. No spoiler alerts during those primitive modes of learning preceding by decades before the advent of ergonomic, NON GMO gluten free global positioning satellite, posturepedic, hydraulic operated, , humanized, mechanized individual hermetically sealed pods! No doubt this old geezer would be like a fish out of water if brought into the modern twenty first century educational facility. Every last kid would be tethered with gadgets, and attuned into a customized impromptu lecture accessing, allocated, assigned (for keeps) alien looking equipment to this Luddite. Blackboards (really unfractallated slate - now worth a mint), and chalk sufficed to teach all the then known knowledge to man/woman kind. Most pupils (enforced to address the head master or mistress, - no married women permitted) as Benevolent Sir or Your Highness (frequently corrupted to heiney accompanied with a twitter of titters). Strict adherence to formal attire naturally mandated insync with politesse toward figurative line with obligation to manners. Thus street clothes (pre torn jeans that cost a small fortune), beachwear, et cetera unacceptable. Strict adherence to couture rules and regulations, would also count when report cards (milled paper) got issued for each one of four quartered nine month state compliance punishment . Upon reflecting the now every day (once radical, not far long ago within a nearby solar system of the Milky Way) Earthlinked digital contrivances adorning every Hotmail wannabe, those antiquated parochial teaching/learning environments did hold an avast advantageous candle box advantage versus the entire methodology inculcating young people how to function with an extremely webbed wide world, which paradigm an absolute necessity to become gainfully employed. A touch of nostalgia necessitates yours truly to blink back tears. He found comfort holding and/or cracking the binding of bound printed material, though I must confess a strong dislike to the Dewey Decimal System, which appeared as Egyptian hieroglyphics. Aside from manually turning tangible pages (unlike Ebooks, which do not interest me in the la east), each well thumbed required suitably deemed reading topical writer , (which paled compared to discovering lesser known authors) also exuded an faint aroma, and hinted at a much simpler way of life compared to the highly charged (amped up) frenzy, where the transmitting and/or receiving bits and bytes a twenty four seven, three hundred sixty five day a year constant barrage of data packets. When documents, finished instructions, knowledge leveraged modes to assess comprehension, et cetera uploaded, the remaining leisure time undifferentiated as young people manipulate a cache of similarly wrought information (immense) applied to Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Reddit, Snapchat,Twitter, the ever growing array of miniaturized bajillion lobbed bots, whose processing capacity mind boggling. No longer exceptional simply boasting every stipulated historical date, state capitol, sporting statistic, etc.

PROLOGUE: Earth represents the only planet known to support life. Such a manifestation, preposition and supposition (challenged as sophisticated telescopes peer into the farther reaches of the cosmos), nonetheless amazes this bipedal hominid. Additionally, that conjecture (undergoing securitization re: painstakingly now major leapfrogs kicked jarring impetus hundredfold greater futuristic established dogma) consider that said oblate spheroid constituent essential matter near in composition sans other planets in our solar system, and coalesced at approximately when sister and brother entities manifested through the same ethereal processes as every other planet, and also received energy (in a greater or lesser proportion) extant per those most distant or closest cosmic bodies from the sun. To a universal traveler, Earth may seem to be a harmless little planet in the far reaches of one of billions of spiral galaxies in the universe. Gaia describes an elliptical trajectory across an average size star of middling brightness and joined by seven other planets, which support no known recognizable life forms constituting the solar system. While this may be fitting for a passage from numerous prequels and sequel Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (among other entertaining out of this world page turners for estranged mortals feeling like outliers in this alien nation), by the late Douglas Adams, in the grand scheme of the universe, it would be a fairly accurate description. However, Earth is a planet teeming with vitality and is home billions of plants and animals that share a common evolutionary track. Eve ver since time immemorial innumerable questions furrowed the brow of man/woman kind such as the following. evidence may have been lost. Scientists have made significant progress in understanding what chemical processes that may have led to the origins of life. There are many theories, but most have the same general perspective of how things came to be the way random quirky phenomena overtook numbers (millions) linkedin kinetic jinxed illustrious happenings. An account of life's beginnings based on some of the leading research and theories related to the subject, and of course, fossil records dating back as far as 3.5 billion years ago designating the scientifically acceptable denouement viz Earth's Beginnings would be an infinite tome. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Never in my cow well LIX anniversaries of birth did I ever experience such an unseasonably warm February, March, April...September 018 (i.e. the date this anonymous mortal jotted down the musings peppering his inquisitive mind). Now my bio hazmat poise zen gruff feed dee doth Buzz with an apropos diversion, whence a short written interjection will proffer broad leafed brushstrokes qua lee fie ying yours truly to draw inquisitive onlookers. Matthew Scott Harris (the second offspring and only son of Boyce and the late Harriet Harris) made his unheralded debut on a brutally cold January thirteenth when Earth completed one thousand nine hundred and fifty ninth orbitz round the sun. Once awareness blossomed within thee Iris of each eye, Mother Nature with his proclivity to become most grounded when basking in the seasonal pastel of sounds and smells.This predilection a rose and stemmed from self-propelled exposure to fauna and flora. All creatures great and small found him bedazzled, delighted, fixated, harmonized, kindled, moored, ogled, quelled, seduced, tantalized, vaunted from biodiversity. His father - employed as a mechanical engineer with general electric - heard the powerful lungs of this gangly newborn prior to being permitted to cradle said infant nada so terrible. Though born (agh gin in Cincinnati, Ohio), this sole son spent the majority of his existence at two rural areas fifty plus four years ago. Audubon and Collegeville the geographic names of said locales. He attended first at half of second grade at an elementary school in the former place name. His ability to adjust from one than another grade school evinced early signs of difficulty. Extreme shyness in tandem with a congenital speech defect (submucous cleft palate) seemed to alienate him from other classmates. As an outside neutral observer, I (thine older - boot not necessarily wiser self - watched with gut wrenching agony how he seemed socially detached and rarely invited to join in any reindeer games.Yes, a gross degree of taunting left him without friends. Lack of confidence and ultra reticence offered manna to bullies. Matter of fact, this vulnerability and susceptibility per being on the receiving end of verbal slings continued all thru public education. He graduated without any vocational idea (despite an ignoble attempt to fail, yet got promoted nonetheless), and then endured parental wrath equal parts ultimatums and evil scathing expletive filled lectures.