.

farzona

Quiet eveings,book and a cup of tea.

Fergana, Uzbekistan

Born in Fergana, a quiet town nestled in Uzbekistan, she found solace in books from a young age, retreating into worlds crafted by authors like shadows in the pages. Introverted by nature, she cherished the quietude of her own thoughts, finding companionship in fictional characters and their journeys. Coffee became her loyal ally, its aroma and warmth a constant source of comfort as she delved deeper into the realms of literature. Her story unfolds quietly yet profoundly, each chapter enriched by her love for reading and the simple pleasures of a solitary cup of coffee.

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Living with anthropophobia, a fear of people, has profoundly shaped my life from a young age. Unlike sociophobia, which primarily involves fear of social interactions, anthropophobia manifests as anxiety simply from being around others. This fear has made routine tasks and social interactions daunting, leading me to seek solitude to manage overwhelming anxiety. One poignant chapter of my life revolves around a winter day during my first-grade year. My mother, who worked at the school I attended, arranged for a taxi to take me to my aunt's house after classes. She worked shifts that spanned both morning and afternoon, leaving me in need of a place to stay until my parents returned home from work. On this particular day, I vividly remember the cold temperatures and snowy streets—an unusual occurrence in our typically warm climate. The taxi arrived punctually, and I eagerly embarked on what should have been a routine journey. Arriving at my aunt's apartment building, I climbed the stairs and confidently knocked on her door. To my surprise, there was no response. I knocked again, growing increasingly concerned as minutes passed without any sign of my aunt. Seeking assistance from a nearby elderly neighbor, I learned that my aunt had left for an urgent engagement. With no phone at my disposal due to a strict family rule, I felt utterly helpless. As evening approached and the building grew quiet, my anxiety intensified. Dark thoughts crept in, amplified by the deserted surroundings and the ominous winter dusk. The fear of abduction and the unknown loomed large in my young mind, exacerbated by my mother's unavailability due to a crucial work meeting. As darkness descended, my fear reached a crescendo. Every sound magnified my apprehension, culminating in a tense encounter with a stranger—a tall man with a shaggy beard—who questioned my presence alone in the building. Instinctively, I lied about my mother waiting downstairs and hurried away, heart pounding with relief and lingering fear. Alone in the cold, hunger gnawed at me as I stood outside, still in my school uniform. The icy winds added physical discomfort to my emotional turmoil, casting a metaphorical storm mirroring my inner chaos. Hours passed like eternity, each minute deepening my despair as I contemplated my plight—stranded, vulnerable, and gripped by fear.Sounds like the best day of my life,doesn't it? Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, a drama unfolded elsewhere. At around 5 PM, the cozy living room of someone's home, where my aunt needed to go urgently, echoed with the familiar chatter of my mother and aunt over the phone. My aunt, bustling around the living room, paused as their conversation grew more animated. "Did she reach you? I couldn't call earlier; I was stuck in a meeting," my mother asked anxiously. "Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm not at home. I had to rush to a guest's place urgently and forgot to inform you. Where is my cousin,then?" my aunt replied in a rushed tone. "You tell me! Where is my daughter if she's not with you?" my mom's voice tinged with concern, her brow furrowing.My mother's distress escalated as she realized I was missing, prompting a desperate search effort. Hunger and exhaustion drove me to seek help, lost in unfamiliar streets as dusk deepened. Imagine a 7-year-old girl, footsteps echoing in deserted streets, fear growing with each passing minute. Approaching strangers cautiously, I stumbled upon a group of friends leaving a restaurant. Summoning courage, I saw a captivating girl in a resplendent red dress. Just as I turned away,I felt vulnerable,unable to approach her., she asked, "Where are you going?".A strange amalgam of relief and stress surfaced.I barely explained her the situation and she wanted me to describe my mother's appearance.As she heard her name,she exclaimed "She might be my teacher!". We arrived at her workplace, my school, unnoticed in the dark. Upon arrival, the place was deserted, and hope seemed lost until... Finally, a familiar figure emerged in the darkness—my mother, tears of relief and worry glistening in her eyes. She recounted her frantic search across the city in taxis, narrowly missing me as I wandered aimlessly. Her embrace conveyed a mix of relief, fear, and overwhelming love that words could scarcely capture. To restore normalcy, she suggested dinner at a nearby café. Amid candlelight, emotions swirled—guilt, gratitude for kindness, and newfound resilience. Across the table, tentative smiles marked a moment of love and forgiveness. The meal's flavors symbolized rich experiences amid adversity. Reflecting, I found facing fears reveals their impermanence, strengthening in uncertainty. This shaped my journey with anthropophobia, showing resilience in challenges. It underscores courage and resilience lighting the path, each step a victory over fear, reflecting human spirit strength.Plus, scoring a free dinner wasn't bad either!

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