Today, as I sit uncomfortable here in my house after walking around and seeing a million graves, I am struck by the weight of what it means to leave this world. The sheer number of lives, each with its own story, reminds me of the inevitable journey we all must take. Some of those who have departed are still lying down in the morgue, naked and cold, unable to speak or even ask for water. When the time comes for me to depart, I hope you won't dwell in sorrow. Instead, I ask that you remain silent, save your words, and cherish the joyful moments that warmed my heart. As I transition into rest, I wish to do so in peace. My departure will serve a purpose, and if you find yourself missing me, seek my presence quietly in the familiar spaces of my home among my books, letters, photographs, and the hastily scribbled notes I left behind. Embrace my belongings: wear my shirts, sweater, and jacket. Walk in my shoes, and make my room, pillow, and bed your own. If it grows cold, wrap yourself in my scarves. Enjoy the chocolate and wine I left behind, listen to the songs I cherished, use my perfume, and tend to my plants. Should my body be interred, do not be afraid. Let your tears flow freely, let the wind touch your face, and immerse yourself in the poetry, music, and melodies that life offers. Kiss the earth, drink the water, and listen to the birds' song. If my absence feels overwhelming, try to conceal it and search for me in the faces of children, in the aroma of coffee, on the radio, and in the places where I used to hide. Avoid using the term "death" sometimes being forgotten is more sorrowful than dying and being remembered. When I am gone, bring flowers to my grave and declare with conviction that life continues. The essence of life persists beyond my physical presence; those who truly live are never entirely lost but merely rest temporarily, with eternal rest being just an expression. When I die, don't worry about my body. My relatives will handle everything according to their means they will remove my clothes, wash me, dress me, and take me from my home to my new address. Many will come to my funeral to "say goodbye." Some will cancel commitments and miss work to attend. My belongings, even those I didn't want to lend, will be sold, given away, or burned. My keys, tools, books, shoes, clothes all will be dealt with, and rest assured that the world will not stop to cry for me. The economy will continue, and my job will be filled by someone else. My assets will go to my heirs, and I will continue to be cited, judged, questioned, and criticized for the things I did in life. People who knew me only by appearance will comment, “Poor man or woman!” or “He or she had a great time!” My sincere friends will cry for a few hours or days, then return to laughter, while the “friends” who only sought to party with me will forget me quickly. My animals will adjust to their new owner. My photos may hang on the wall or remain on a piece of furniture for a while, but eventually, they may be stored in a drawer. The deep pain in my home will fade, and eventually, my story will become a memory. Someone else will sit on my couch and eat at my table. The deep pain in my home will last a week, two, a month, or even a year, then I will be added to the past. But as I begin my story in my new reality my life after death I will not take with me the things from here. Body, beauty, appearance, last name, comfort, credit, state, position, bank account, home, car, profession, titles, diplomas, medals, trophies, friends, places, spouse, family all will remain behind. In my new life, I will only need my spirit. The value I have accumulated here will be the only fortune I will have there. That fortune is amassed through a life of love and peace with others. Therefore, I hope to have lived fully and been happy while I was here, because, “From here you won't take what you have. You'll only take what you gave.” On the day of my farewell, many who loved me will gather. They will contribute generously to my send-off. My friends will dance and celebrate my life and the memories we shared. Some will attend out of curiosity to know where I come from, while others will struggle with their heartbreak. My mother will never forgive death for taking me, and my love partner will say, “I want to tell you that I love you.” My crush will say, “I wanted to give you my final answer, but you are no more.” I hope that when you extend your hand, you may sense my touch, knowing that I will always be beside you. One day, with a smile, you will feel my return, and I will be with you forever. —Dmax Scarlage, 2024 © 2024 Dmax Scarlage. All rights reserved. #fromtheheartartofkibera #dmaxscarlageke

I've been reflecting a lot lately on how crucial honesty is in relationships, and I've come to realize just how damaging it can be to lead someone on. It's something I've seen and experienced firsthand, and I think it's important to share why this behavior is so harmful and why we should always strive for transparency. It's all too easy to get caught up in the moment and show someone care when deep down, we know we don't have strong feelings for them. Maybe you don't see a future with this person, but you still let them into your life and make them believe that something serious is brewing. This can set them up for a world of emotional pain and confusion. They start to think that there's a real possibility of a future together when, in reality, there isn't. I know it can be tough to face the fact that we aren't on the same page as someone else. It's uncomfortable and often feels like you're about to shatter someone's dreams. But here's the thing: avoiding this conversation only prolongs the inevitable hurt. It's so much better to be honest and clear about your intentions. If you're not ready for a committed relationship, or if your feelings just aren't there, it's essential to communicate that directly and respectfully. I've seen situations where people allow others to spend money on them or show them affection, even though they don't return those feelings. It's easy to think that these actions might not have much of an impact, but they do. The person on the other side might start to develop deeper feelings and hope for a future that isn't real. That's incredibly unfair and can lead to a lot of unnecessary pain. Imagine being in their shoes. How would you feel if someone gave you every indication that they loved you and wanted a future with you, only to find out later that it was all a facade? It's a tough pill to swallow, and it can be emotionally devastating. So, how do we address this issue? It starts with having an honest conversation. Be direct about where you stand, even if it's uncomfortable. Approach the discussion with empathy, acknowledging their feelings and showing respect for their emotions. And most importantly, make sure your actions align with your words. Don't say one thing and do another; that only adds to the confusion and heartache. In the end, leading someone on is not just about avoiding discomfort or confrontation. It's about respecting the other person and valuing their emotional well-being. By being upfront and sincere, we can avoid causing unnecessary hurt and build relationships based on genuine understanding and mutual respect. Let's commit to being honest and transparent, both for our sake and for those who care about us. Author: DMAX SCARLAGE KE Copyright © 2024 #fromtheheartartofkibera #dmaxscarlageke

Today, the thought that being a woman should not be a death sentence has been echoing in my mind, bringing with it a profound sense of both urgency and sorrow. The idea itself is stark and unsettling, but it's a reality that many women face across the globe—living under the constant threat of violence simply because of their gender. I was struck by a recent article that highlighted the grim statistics of gender-based violence. The piece detailed horrifying incidents of violence against women and underscored how systemic failures and cultural norms contribute to this persistent crisis. It's heartbreaking to realize that in some parts of the world, the mere act of being a woman can lead to dangerous situations, and for some, it tragically results in death. Reflecting on this issue, I find myself grappling with several emotions: anger, sadness, and a deep sense of injustice. It's unacceptable that in the 21st century, women still face such dire threats to their safety and well-being. The idea that being a woman can make one a target of violence is a stark reminder of how far we still have to go in achieving true gender equality and safety. The systemic nature of this problem is particularly disturbing. It's not just about individual acts of violence; it's about a network of social, cultural, and institutional factors that enable and perpetuate such violence. Patriarchal attitudes, inadequate legal protections, and societal indifference all play a role in creating environments where women are vulnerable to violence. One thing that has become increasingly clear to me is the need for a comprehensive approach to addressing this issue. It's not enough to address the symptoms of violence without tackling the root causes. We need to challenge and change the cultural norms that normalize or excuse violence against women. Education and advocacy are crucial in shifting societal attitudes and ensuring that women's rights are respected and protected. Moreover, supporting and empowering women is essential. Providing resources, legal protections, and support systems can help to safeguard women and provide them with the tools they need to fight back against violence and advocate for their own safety. It's also vital to support organizations and initiatives that work on the front lines of this issue, providing aid and raising awareness. This realization brings with it a sense of responsibility. I feel compelled to be more active in advocating for women's rights and safety. Whether it's through supporting relevant organizations, participating in community discussions, or simply spreading awareness, every effort counts. Ultimately, the idea that being a woman should not be a death sentence is a call to action. It's a demand for a world where every woman can live free from fear and violence—a world where gender equality is not just an aspiration but a reality. I am committed to contributing to this change, however I can, and to continuing to learn and grow in my understanding of these critical issues. #fromtheheartartofkibera #dmaxscarlageke

Today, I've been reflecting on a powerful realization: success often lies just beyond the reach of fear. This isn't just an abstract concept for me it's something I've experienced firsthand. Fear, in all its forms fear of failure, rejection, and the unknown has often stood as a barrier between where I am and where I want to be. Yet, it's becoming increasingly clear that understanding and confronting these fears can transform them from daunting obstacles into crucial stepping stones toward achievement. Understanding My Fear Fear, I've come to realize, is an evolutionary response designed to protect us from harm. But in my personal and professional life, it has often felt more like a hindrance than a safeguard. Instead of keeping me safe, fear has sometimes held me back from stepping out of my comfort zone and pursuing new opportunities. It's this disconnect that makes fear such a tricky, yet powerful, force in my quest for success. Fear as a Catalyst for Growth Looking back, I see how fear has been more than just an obstacle—it's been a catalyst for growth. Here's how: Opportunity for Growth: The fear of failure I've felt has often pointed me toward areas where I needed to develop. By facing this fear, I've been able to acquire new skills and perspectives, which have paved the way for my successes. Challenge and Resilience: Each time I've faced a fear, I've had to dig deep and find resilience. This process has not only strengthened me but has also prepared me to handle future challenges with greater confidence. Innovation and Creativity: When I've been afraid of the unknown, it's pushed me to explore new ideas and creative solutions. Confronting these fears has often led me to innovative approaches and breakthroughs. Strategies That Helped Me Overcome Fear I've found a few strategies particularly helpful in managing and overcoming fear: Acknowledge and Accept: I've learned to accept fear as a natural part of the process. Rather than trying to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, I've found that acknowledging it helps me deal with it more effectively. Break Down the Fear: Analyzing my fears and breaking them into smaller, more manageable parts has made them less overwhelming. Tackling each component individually has helped me address them systematically. Set Incremental Goals: Setting small, achievable goals has been crucial. Each small success builds my confidence and gradually reduces the impact of my fears, bringing me closer to my larger objectives. Seek Support and Guidance: Talking through my fears with mentors, friends, or colleagues has been incredibly valuable. Their support and advice have provided me with new perspectives and practical strategies for overcoming challenges. Focus on the Bigger Picture: Keeping my ultimate goals in mind has helped me stay motivated. By focusing on the benefits of overcoming fear, I've been able to maintain a positive outlook and push through difficult times. Insights from Success Stories Reflecting on the stories of people like Elon Musk and Oprah Winfrey, I find inspiration in their ability to confront and overcome their fears. Their achievements remind me that moving beyond fear is often essential to achieving success. Their journeys reinforce my belief that facing fear head-on is not just necessary but is frequently the key to unlocking significant accomplishments. As I close today's journal entry, I recognize that success is not a destination but a journey that often intersects with fear. Embracing and managing my fears has turned them from barriers into powerful catalysts for success. By confronting fear with courage and resilience, I'm learning to use it as a tool for growth and innovation. This realization is a reminder that the courage to face fear is often what opens the door to success. Author: Dmax Scarlage Copyright © 2024 Dmax Scarlage #fromtheheartartofkibera #dmaxscarlageke

I usually spend a lot of time reflecting on my journey through life, often finding solace in the familiar surroundings of Kibera, where I was raised. This place, with its vibrant energy and complex realities, serves as a backdrop for many of my thoughts. Today, I'm contemplating an adage that resonates deeply with me: “As a man, only your pockets and your mama's prayers will save you.” This saying captures a profound truth about the balance between financial responsibility and the enduring influence of maternal care. It underscores two fundamental pillars that support a man's journey: financial stability and the unwavering love of a mother. The Role of Financial Independence Financial stability has always been a cornerstone of my journey. Growing up in Kibera, I witnessed firsthand the challenges of financial instability and the impact it can have on one's life. My "pockets"—a metaphor for my financial resources—represent more than just money. They symbolize my ability to support myself and make independent decisions. Achieving financial independence has been essential for personal security and earning respect across various life domains. In my experience, financial stability involves setting and sticking to a budget, planning for the future, and making informed investments. It's not just about meeting immediate needs but also about creating a foundation for long-term goals. This stability provides the freedom to pursue my aspirations with confidence and helps me navigate economic uncertainties. The sense of control and autonomy that comes from financial independence has been crucial for my well-being and personal growth. The Enduring Influence of a Mother's Prayers As important as financial stability is, I've come to understand the profound role of emotional and spiritual support. My mother's prayers have always been a source of strength and comfort, transcending material considerations. Her unconditional love and concern have provided solace during challenging moments, offering guidance and reinforcing my sense of purpose. Even during times of financial struggle, the knowledge that my mother is praying for me offers a profound sense of security. Her support has been a sustaining force, helping me to maintain resilience and hope. This emotional and spiritual backing complements my financial efforts, providing a more comprehensive foundation for my personal development. Navigating Life's Challenges Balancing financial independence with the support of loved ones involves navigating practical and emotional challenges. In Kibera, where the realities of financial instability are palpable, this balance becomes even more crucial. Managing responsibilities effectively while staying connected to my support network requires both financial acumen and emotional grounding. On a practical level, this means adhering to budgets, planning for the future, and making wise investment choices. Emotionally, it involves nurturing relationships and appreciating the support of family, particularly my mother. Integrating these elements into a cohesive approach to life has helped me navigate its complexities with greater resilience. The Balance of Independence and Support The interplay between financial independence and familial support highlights the importance of balance. While my financial resources enable me to shape my destiny, it is the prayers and encouragement of my loved ones, especially my mother, that provide emotional and spiritual fortitude. Successfully blending these aspects creates a harmonious approach to personal development. This balance enhances my ability to handle life's challenges and deepens my appreciation for the dual role of material and emotional resources in achieving success. Combining financial stability with the heartfelt support of my mother has created a strong foundation for my growth and fulfillment. Reflection In reflecting on the saying “only your pockets and your mama's prayers will save you,” I recognize how vital these dual pillars are in my life. Financial independence and maternal support are not just separate elements; they work together to provide a robust framework for navigating life's journey. Embracing both aspects allows me to move forward with confidence and resilience, knowing that I am supported both materially and spiritually, especially in the environment of Kibera that shaped so much of my perspective. Author: DMAX SCARLAGE KE Copyright © 2024 DMAX SCARLAGE KE #fromtheheartartofkibera #dmaxscarlageke