I am sitting on the porch and reading a book. My daughter is occupied with her new toy. Everything as usual, but for me somehow, indescribably, different… I remember perfectly well every single detail of that seemingly ordinary day. It was January 7th 2000. My boyfriend and I were sitting in his room and talking about our future. We had been together for five years. I had finished the faculty and started working as a nurse in the local hospital. He was a soldier. He was very ambitious. I liked the way he thought, moved, spoke… He made the world go round. He was very thoughtful, gentlemanly and lovely. We were head over heels in love. While we were talking about our plans, the phone rang. He picked up the phone. The conversation was short. Then, he turned to me and said, “I'll go to Afghanistan.” My face turned white and I was shivering more than ever. “Ah, yes…I mean ok”, I said. He was staring at me. That was a long gaze. Eventually, I opened my mouth to say something, but the lump in my throat didn't allow me. He leaned towards me and kissed me. A tear escaped at the corner of my eye. I was crying. Seven months later, he left. I felt as if he took everything with him leaving me bare. The days were longer and longer. And the time seemed to have stopped. Suddenly I wasn't feeling well. I had nausea every morning and constant temperature every night. I was pregnant and after eight months Helen was born. People were quick to gloat over my troubles. I was young, without a husband but with a daughter. The rumours spread rapidly but I didn't take a notice of that. I realised that I had everything – I had a daughter with the man I loved. It is January 7th 2004. The air is motionless, tepid and thick. Yes, that was how it smelled when we were together. Tired of reading I am looking ahead of me now. I see a man in a green-grey uniform moving towards us. I am standing with Helen beside me. The corners of my mouth are turning into a big smile. I am not alone!

After collecting my tips from today and clocking out, I walk out of the coffee shop at 5:00 exactly. I look to my right and see Noah walking up the block. He catches my eyes and raises his hand to wave. I grin and start walking towards him. “So, where do you want to go?” he asks. I look around at the busy street beside us and then my eyes land on an old but neon arrow pointing at a diner down the block. “There's that diner,” I say and point behind him, “wanna go there?” “Sublime,” he says. “Sublime?” I ask as we start walking side-by-side. “Yes, sublime,” he repeats. “It means excellence or great admiration.” “No, I'm familiar with the definition, Mr. Google Dictionary,” I say and give him a smirk, “I'm just not used to people saying that word as a substitute for ‘yes.'” “Well, I guess I'm not like most people,” he replies casually and then seals his lips as if he were processing what he just said. “That kind of sounded like what a main character in a John Green book would say-.” My laugh interrupts him. “Yeah, it did. But, you're right- most people don't say ‘sublime.' Hence, you are not like most people.” “True.” He opens the door to the restaurant for me and I step inside. “But since when did it become unusual for people to say things like… ‘superb' and ‘cunning' or ‘vehement?'” Noah holds up two fingers at the waitress and she points to an empty booth next to the window. The restaurant is crammed and noisy but filled with a live environment. The walls are teal and the floors are black and white tiled squares. “Vehement?” I ask after noticing another pop-culture poster on the walls of the diner. “To show strong feelings or be passionate about something,” he explains. “Right.” I nod. “How could I forget?” “That's the thing- I can assure you more than half our generation doesn't know squat what any of these fancy words mean,” he continues. “Well, are they fancy words or just old English?” I ask. A waitress with short blonde hair drops off two glasses of water. “No, old English would be Shakespeare,” he replies after taking a sip of his water. “These words, which are outdated, are just that. I mean, if you ask a grade ten class to give you the definitions of these words-.” “Sublime, superb, cunning, and vehement?” “- Exactly- they would stare at you wide-eyed and confused,” he continues. “You might get one smart motherfucker that reads the dictionary for fun who could give you all the definitions. But other than that- zip.” “Hm, interesting.” I rest my head on my hand and narrow my eyes at his theory. “And you're that smart motherfucker?” “I think we confirmed that I'm the main character from a John Green book.” He chuckles. “Then how do you know the definitions to those outdated words?” I ask. He shrugs and sits back on his seat. “Who's to say I didn't memorize those four words to impress you?” “As if a guy would try that hard,” I remark and sit up straight again. “Never mind the fact that that's not even something to be proud of.” “Oh, yeah?” he challenges. “Memorizing a couple of definitions?” I ask. “Let me ask you a question; would you be impressed if I recited the entire dictionary to you on the first date?” A grin grows on his face. “Alright, the fact of the matter is that I didn't memorize them to impress you,” he admits. “The fact of the matter is that you use outdated words, which makes you…” “A John Green character,” he finishes. We share a smile and then pick up our menus. “The BLT looks superb,” I say softly.

He stared outside the window, looking at the children playing with their pants in the air, Without fear or worry of what was to come. smiling he, remembered when he was younger, when he was just like them when, he thought the only thing to life was eating and playing his football. that was, until he met her anyways. he could still picture her in his mind her lips and she pout, her scolding him, and her smile that he spent everything he had for. The colour of her eyes that saw through his soul, the words she told him encouraging him when he was down. He remembered the promises they made to each other, the words he whispered in her ears just to make her smile, the note he passed to her when he thought their teachers weren't looking, the things he said when he thought she wasn't listening. The time he spent thinking of what their future held, the moment he thought he was going to lose her and cried even when his father said men weren't suppose to cry. he knew then, crying wasn't a weakness, it was a strength admitting you were scared. He knew then, even though He might had been bad in everything even though his teachers said he was useless, he was sure he was good at making her smile. She was more than his everything, she was his vision and then he realised the saying was true; you becomes a man, when you discover something you are truly ready to fight for and his was her, she was the vision he discovered she was the one that made it possible for him to be what he was today.\n\n\\"you still day dreaming.\\" a voice said wrapping hands around him.\n\n\\"well can't a man day dream.\\" he said listening to the laughter that filled the room.\n\n\\"So, what were you day dreaming about.\\" she asked pulling a seat close to him.\n\n\\"A girl I once loved.\\" he smiled trying to read the expression on her face.\n\n\\"I though you still loved her.\\" she asked innocently.\n\n\\"I don't, she became me I developed something stronger that love for her.\\" he said kissing her softly.\n\n\\"well....\\"she said, pulling her body close to him \\"she still loves you I still love you and my glad I became your vision.\\"\n\n\\"you didn't just become my vision you gave me another vision you gave me the power to express my words.\\"\n\n\\"daddy.\\" a voice screamed cutting their conversation.\n\n\\"she is your daughter.\\" he heard his wife say as she ran into the kitchen but she was right, they were his and he was theirs and even when he spent his days fooling around they were there waiting for him when, he asked himself everyday what, was a home they showed him, they were his home.

He stared outside the window, looking at the children playing with their pants in the air, Without fear or worry of what was to come. smiling he, remembered when he was younger, when he was just like them when, he thought the only thing to life was eating and playing his football. that was, until he met her anyways. he could still picture her in his mind her lips and she pout, her scolding him, and her smile that he spent everything he had for. The colour of her eyes that saw through his soul, the words she told him encouraging him when he was down. He remembered the promises they made to each other, the words he whispered in her ears just to make her smile, the note he passed to her when he thought their teachers weren't looking, the things he said when he thought she wasn't listening. The time he spent thinking of what their future held, the moment he thought he was going to lose her and cried even when his father said men weren't suppose to cry. he knew then, crying wasn't a weakness, it was a strength admitting you were scared. He knew then, even though He might had been bad in everything even though his teachers said he was useless, he was sure he was good at making her smile. She was more than his everything, she was his vision and then he realised the saying was true; you becomes a man, when you discover something you are truly ready to fight for and his was her, she was the vision he discovered she was the one that made it possible for him to be what he was today.\n\n\\"you still day dreaming.\\" a voice said wrapping hands around him.\n\n\\"well can't a man day dream.\\" he said listening to the laughter that filled the room.\n\n\\"So, what were you day dreaming about.\\" she asked pulling a seat close to him.\n\n\\"A girl I once loved.\\" he smiled trying to read the expression on her face.\n\n\\"I though you still loved her.\\" she asked innocently.\n\n\\"I don't, she became me I developed something stronger that love for her.\\" he said kissing her softly.\n\n\\"well....\\"she said, pulling her body close to him \\"she still loves you I still love you and my glad I became your vision.\\"\n\n\\"you didn't just become my vision you gave me another vision you gave me the power to express my words.\\"\n\n\\"daddy.\\" a voice screamed cutting their conversation.\n\n\\"she is your daughter.\\" he heard his wife say as she ran into the kitchen but she was right, they were his and he was theirs and even when he spent his days fooling around they were there waiting for him when, he asked himself everyday what, was a home they showed him, they were his home.

Closing my eyes I can immediately picture your face, as if your amazing features have been tattooed onto the insides of my eyelids. It brings a smile to my face, seeing that birthmark in the center of your forehead, the way the corners of your lips have a small smile pronounced in them. I smile at the way I can immediately place every freckle on your cheeks from memory. I smile as I think of the way your laugh sounds like a stone skipping across a pond after being thrown from gentle caring hands. I smile at how when we hug or kiss our bodies interlock as if they were blocks never meant to be unbound. I smile at the way you have become everything to me. You are my world, and I can never bear to let you go. I'll give anything to continue this love we have harvested from a simple seed planted in the ground long ago by the universe. The seed that demanded you and me to be its caretakers; the seed that decided we were to be soulmates. It is true that in the dead of night when I am lost, I can find you in the persistent stars that somehow shine so bright for me. It is true that in the petrichor I can find you on the individual teardrops that reside on the lush grass. It is true that when there is nothing to be made from the disasters I have created, the thought of us and everything we could be buoys me to reality. I cry sometimes, because I know that although you are my soulmate, perhaps our time together is not definite. For soulmates aren't always forever. Perhaps you are to leave me when there is a smile you find warmer than mine. Perhaps my eyes won't sparkle quite like they used to for you. But a part of you rests in my heart, and that's what matters. You and I will always be attached by a single thread for all of our life. If we are to take two entirely different paths, only connected by that string of fate, I see myself finding you once again later on in my mind. You will always be on this map that has been charted for me by the greatest cartographer of all- destiny. It is quite possible that you and I are to drift onto opposite coasts of the land we have shared for the time we have been together. It is quite possible that we may cultivate our own islands to invite other people into it, other soulmates. But know that in the center of the island sits a perennial blossom you and I have grown, and continue to grow. Because although you have passed to create your story without me, you have left an imprint on my soul. You, soulmate, have filled a crater that I held within with the devotion and love you have shown me.