My heart pounds and I jump up as far as I can in the back of the medium-sized car. Another car had just jutted in front of us. Our driver is like a rock on a turbulent beach, sure and steady. Men walk up and down the Calle or street, not with homeless signs, but selling items. I got one of those items later, a red fruit that widened my palate. The hot humid air, our clocks changing to 4:15 rather than 3:15, and the fact that the woman next to me on the plane was drinking tomato juice (maybe that was her thing and not a Latin American thing) made me realize this was brand new. We had gotten off the plane to a loud sun and bright voices. The customs man asked me why I didn't attend school in Panama. We both laughed as I explained, in Spanish, that it was too expensive. The main difference in the countries was the Spanish hitting me like someone blowing air in my face. A friend told me Spanish is like a circle. To me, it's like a song I heard many times a long time ago and have become unfamiliar with but by the end, you're shouting the lyrics and dancing. I heard it and chewed on it through my ears, digested it in my thoughts, and opened my mouth to sing the song. “Estamos bien,” I kept saying to men offering us rides in taxis. My friend speaks her version of Spanish throughout the trip. She tells a woman she's going to eat her dog (by accident). She tries to gossip about a cute boy… in spanish…in a Spanish-speaking country. Sé fue una broma she tries to tell the people who overhear it (it was a joke). These prices are ridiculous, she tells a man in Spanish, copying Google Translate, and both he and I start laughing. Her Spanish was a highlight of the trip. The welcoming people taught me the whole trip. Chinchita is a fruity sweet drink. Alto is on their stop signs. La cuenta is the check. The animals welcomed us as well. They didn't look sad and they weren't enclosed. Sloths glided on trees and seemed to smile at us. The whole country's people matched the weather. They are very vibrant people. They kiss on the cheek and tell Spanglish jokes to me. I met people I'd only talked to over the phone and we embraced like we've known eachother forever. Our Airbnb host was sweet as well and offered to help us in every way. We adapted to the place quickly. Turned on the AC of course. Closets filled with clothes. Shoes lined the walls. I had brought too much toiletries and it was by the grace of God that I didn't get stopped by the TSA. The calle was full and buzzing and beautiful. There's a market in the park and a playground in the park and volleyball and basketball and the corner store where we can to joke with the handsome men and go here to get food or go there. The food is American, Italian, Panamanian, Mexican, Caribbean, Chinese (which I got to practice as well) and so much more. All in this place called El Cangrejo. There's a glory in Latin American homes and cities that I don't feel in the US. It's clean. It's bright. Bright houses, bright water. I got an amazing bright dress. La Ciudad welcomes us. Many different boats travel through. Some only say Hola and ciao crossing through the canal, cargo transporters. Those are the huge ones we learn about in a movie. I didn't believe I could be interested in something like that. People transporters rock along the water and the water sprays in our faces as we ride one. Lights glow in the night illuminating the city. We exercise less caution than we should because it feels so safe. The moonlight is magnificent on the glittering water and shining buildings. They have a pride that I feel they should have. I have pride in them and I only visited once. Gleeful gente (people). Bailando, hablando, sonriendo. Dancing, speaking, smiling. I didn't want to leave and even now I want to go back. Their pride in the city is matched by their pride in the bountiful beaches and I can't even begin to describe them. We had to ride in that van on the rocky roads then that boat that slammed and jolted along the sea. It was rainy and dark, the sand was muddy and invasive, and there were crawling creatures. I got my clothes wet on the boat and was upset but not for long. The island was beautiful. The water was a sparkling blue and the sky had cleared. The sun beat down on our faces and we saw brightness even with our eyes closed. There were amazing starfish and lovely bright tan sand and we ate delicious fried fish. My friend and I floated on our backs in peaceful waves while my other friend lay on a hammock. We forgot about the ride and boat and the storms and all we remembered was the beach. By the end of it, we were professionals at getting in and out of those terrifying boats. When I go through things now I try to tell myself don't forget the beach. Sometimes I am on the rocky roads and jarring boats. But around the corner is the beach. My trip also helped me to refocus on my purpose in life and gave me a sense of joy. I can't wait to go back!