It was 2:34 in the night and the very hour that my mind and pen seemed to try to win a championship against what forces, I myself did not know, in the year of 2022. It was the time which always made me contemplative. However, the food for thought that day was nothing but the school magazine. Years after that period of bliss, it was common to think how little the troubles of that self of mine was. I blamed it on my growth of consciousness. But suddenly I saw a picture which reminded me of how the entirety or rather just a bit of it was bliss for me. Vivid pictures of that boy making the entirety of me a joke whenever he got the opportunity rose before my eyes. At that time, he was simply my enemy. But then, maybe because of the unavoidable growth of my sensitivity, I thought of him as the one who destroyed my teenage years. I remembered him. He was a simple boy without any complications, with a cheerful attitude, ready to make almost any person smile he saw was grumpy around him and a student who excelled at science and was only concerned about digits and the alphabet associated with it, sometimes. And I pictured myself as a silent student of focus - silent to the extent that some people saw it as pride; who felt uncomfortable among others, who was ready to listen but unable to answer to complex emotions but who had been known as a ‘poet', within school. I got hot flashes as I thought about him making a joke of me before everyone, every single opportunity he used to get. Being the popular person, they were also inclined to laugh, even if they didn't want to. Some of them; or at least one of them, perhaps, didn't. Yes, she became the person I became close with, later. And I thought of how the cheerful girl whose laughter I loved, grew silent with the heaviness, perhaps, of my love. He was a cheerful guy but also having a temper. Whereas being a student equal to him, I was usually silent and made up a very unapproachable countenance. It was natural to me at that time. Gradually I got left out. But then that I thought about it, it was I who moved away from where he was present. I smiled as the picture of two students in severe tension in the examination hall, rose before my eyes. He was struggling with the literature and I with the math. We both helped each other (though being at considerable risk and though never having done something like that before) and left the hall without even looking at each other again. For the last time before our careers drew every one of us away. But as people came into my life after that and left perhaps because of my own fault, I learnt one thing and it was never too late. I learnt to return smiles despite knowing that few truly deserve what you are willing to give, that they might simply come - to leave a lesson. But though I could no longer call him a foe, I remained undecided whether to embrace him in my mind as a friend. How does it feel to find out that some adversary from your past has always held the key to what made you think of him so? And that he holds the key to the problems you felt till this day?

“Massive Bushfires”, “Veronica and Dorian storms”, “Floods and Inundation”, “The threat of Nuclear War”: these are all 2019 headlines of the international mass media. Clearly, the number of natural disasters has been rising, but the situation in the international political arena has also been hyper charging (heating up). Demonstrating military, political and economic capabilities, declaring sanctions, closing consulates and viewing these actions as a means to an end, to achieve domination, economic independence and prosperity. All of these news items, however, were firmly eclipsed by the emergence of coronavirus (Covid-19) at the end of 2019. It is no secret that the very first appearance of this virus was in China, to be more precise in Wuhan, the capital of Hubei Province. It changed everything from leading more and more people to obesity to the way we visit our grandparents (using those devices with the screen). The initial hypothesis of the cause of coronavirus was linked to the genome of bats. Nonetheless, it is still not apparent what the source of the very first case was. Nevertheless, there are several main conjectures in the air, ranging from the bats and bananas to the conspiracy theories. “Everything happens for a reason”. When you think about this statement, it becomes horrible and formidable. But still it is impossible to reject and forget this statement. Are not all these present challenges associated with coronavirus linked with people's boundless belief in their strength? The majority of the twenty first century's generations started to hugely rely on modern technologies and mistakenly believe that they are the creators of the nature and of the whole world itself, forgetting about God. In addition, moral decadence can be traced in correlation with the loss of traditional values. Some may argue that they are atheists and there is no link between these phenomena, a theory which, like any, has the right to exist as long as there are those who believe in it. Considering the ideas listed above I believe that one of the ways to beat this virus in the present moment is to encourage people to lend a hand to each other. I personally hope and believe that we can overcome all these difficulties and obstacles. But the real question is, “what is the price of a such victory?”. This ailment has already claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands people regardless of who is acting as a bulwark against its spread. Undoubtedly, the lion's share of onus is on the shoulders of doctors and medical staff, and they can be fairly considered as heroes. The only action that we can take at this moment to support these heroes is to abide by the Government guidelines. In addition, being more kind, polite, sincere and open to collaboration, especially now when all have to unite, can also be considered as a retaliation against the virus. In reality, of course, this is a vast oversimplification of the issue. However, the united people with the same, good purpose is a massive power, far stronger than those who are alone. By way of conclusion, I understand that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in one day. However, it is by no means insurmountable, and I am convinced that we can stem the tide of this virus. Admittedly, this piece of writing is not about to change something in a global scale, but the reader that looks through this work may think over the ideas listed here. Be nice, bring love during these unprecedented times and the virus will be overwhelmed by the amount of honour that Earthmen possess.

As a senior in high school, introspection has become increasingly prominent, and a specific period of time that I have not deigned to think about in detail since its occurrence has been brought to mind. Thus, for the purpose of not only sharing my experience with the reader, I will do so to bring closure to myself. Like many others, my entrance into high school was marked by the formation of opinions of my own and the realization that certain things that I had been taught to believe were perhaps, not so at all. This alone caused a series of conflicts that were both internal and external, and brought about a slew of upsetting personal and family matters. However, it was in the tenth grade when things really started to go downhill. Perhaps my memory eludes me now, but I cannot pinpoint how or when exactly my mental health began to decline: not even an in-depth review of my past journal entries can give me an exact date or play-by-play of how exactly I fell into the grasp of an illness that trapped me for almost two years. What I can recall, however, are flashes of specific memories. For example, if I close my eyes, I can still remember the cold yet vague feeling of the unfriendly bathroom floor digging into my back, increasingly familiar when it shouldn't be. I can still recall that nauseating feeling of loneliness, sinking into me even when I was around others… I can still remember the overwhelming hollowness that was too much nothing and still not enough substance to fill that ever-growing lump of nothingness... I can still taste the bitter aftertaste of frustration and disgust on my tongue…the sharp tang of metallic anger, a lingering ghost of a memory. There would be stretches of time when it seemed that I was numb to everything including myself. There would be times when I was sensitive to the point that one snarky little comment would tip me over the edge and everything would collapse unto itself. There would be times when I could give a little smile and convince myself that I was doing alright, and then suddenly, I would have a sort of emotional collapse and find myself taking refuge in a bathroom stall, overwhelmed with shame. This cycle occurred again and again, and to be honest, it didn't seem to make any sense at all. I was fortunate in my circumstances and extremely privileged. I had never once been deprived of my basic needs or individual rights. I had everything, recognized this indisputable fact, genuinely was grateful for it, but the rest of me could not seem to follow my rational mind. I was still completely and utterly desolate, only now, I was only more disgusted at myself for feeling so. How could I claim to be suffering when there were those who were suffering with much less? These questions attacked me everyday, and those who have not experienced this feeling cannot truly understand the terribleness of this personal dilemma where one is suffering, knows that it is irrational to suffer, but still suffers. Now, of course, I know that depression itself is somewhat arbitrary in the selection of its hosts, quite similar to a virus. It's surprising how many overlook the obvious; that it really is an illness in the sense that it grips you often without much reason and changes you. Like a fever, it leaves you incapable of doing and feeling and enjoying, and the recovery is slow, and often uncontrollable and unpredictable. For me, this was certainly the case. Months crawled by with ups and downs, and often rock-bottoms but slowly, almost unnoticeably so, I improved. This might not be what you expect or want to hear, but I found it significant to accept that I was alone, not necessarily because others were unwilling to help, but because ultimately, they simply did not have the ability to. Though this might seem incredibly counter-productive, and for a while it was extremely debilitating, the realization that no one could truly help me except for myself became strangely empowering over time. In the end, I learned to not only love myself, but to also like myself. I turned my pain into wisdom, directed my focus outwards and focused on helping others, which gave me a greater sense of purpose. My own experience has opened my eyes to the importance of seeking to understand instead of to criticize, and I want to communicate that you must not undermine, or let others undermine your suffering. Be warned; I don't mean that you should barrel ahead in an oblivious state — you must recognize and have gratitude for what you have, and have deep empathy for those who have less, but suffering is suffering, and through it, we can learn more about the world and ourselves. Yes, my greatest enemy is myself, but in being so, I am also my own greatest weapon.

As a senior in high school, introspection has become increasingly prominent, and a specific period of time that I have not deigned to think about in detail since its occurrence has been brought to mind. Thus, for the purpose of not only sharing my experience with the reader, I will do so to bring closure to myself. Like many others, my entrance into high school was marked by the formation of opinions of my own and the realization that certain things that I had been taught to believe were perhaps, not so at all. This alone caused a series of conflicts that were both internal and external, and brought about a slew of upsetting personal and family matters. However, it was in the tenth grade when things really started to go downhill. Perhaps my memory eludes me now, but I cannot pinpoint how or when exactly my mental health began to decline: not even an in-depth review of my past journal entries can give me an exact date or play-by-play of how exactly I fell into the grasp of an illness that trapped me for almost two years. What I can recall, however, are flashes of specific memories. For example, if I close my eyes, I can still remember the cold yet vague feeling of the unfriendly bathroom floor digging into my back, increasingly familiar when it shouldn't be. I can still recall that nauseating feeling of loneliness, sinking into me even when I was around others… I can still remember the overwhelming hollowness that was too much nothing and still not enough substance to fill that ever-growing lump of nothingness... I can still taste the bitter aftertaste of frustration and disgust on my tongue…the sharp tang of metallic anger, a lingering ghost of a memory. There would be stretches of time when it seemed that I was numb to everything including myself. There would be times when I was sensitive to the point that one snarky little comment would tip me over the edge and everything would collapse unto itself. There would be times when I could give a little smile and convince myself that I was doing alright, and then suddenly, I would have a sort of emotional collapse and find myself taking refuge in a bathroom stall, overwhelmed with shame. This cycle occurred again and again, and to be honest, it didn't seem to make any sense at all. I was fortunate in my circumstances and extremely privileged. I had never once been deprived of my basic needs or individual rights. I had everything, recognized this indisputable fact, genuinely was grateful for it, but the rest of me could not seem to follow my rational mind. I was still completely and utterly desolate, only now, I was only more disgusted at myself for feeling so. How could I claim to be suffering when there were those who were suffering with much less? These questions attacked me everyday, and those who have not experienced this feeling cannot truly understand the terribleness of this personal dilemma where one is suffering, knows that it is irrational to suffer, but still suffers. Now, of course, I know that depression itself is somewhat arbitrary in the selection of its hosts, quite similar to a virus. It's surprising how many overlook the obvious; that it really is an illness in the sense that it grips you often without much reason and changes you. Like a fever, it leaves you incapable of doing and feeling and enjoying, and the recovery is slow, and often uncontrollable and unpredictable. For me, this was certainly the case. Months crawled by with ups and downs, and often rock-bottoms but slowly, almost unnoticeably so, I improved. This might not be what you expect or want to hear, but I found it significant to accept that I was alone, not necessarily because others were unwilling to help, but because ultimately, they simply did not have the ability to. Though this might seem incredibly counter-productive, and for a while it was extremely debilitating, the realization that no one could truly help me except for myself became strangely empowering over time. In the end, I learned to not only love myself, but to also like myself. I turned my pain into wisdom, directed my focus outwards and focused on helping others, which gave me a greater sense of purpose. My own experience has opened my eyes to the importance of seeking to understand instead of to criticize, and I want to communicate that you must not undermine, or let others undermine your suffering. Be warned; I don't mean that you should barrel ahead in an oblivious state — you must recognize and have gratitude for what you have, and have deep empathy for those who have less, but suffering is suffering, and through it, we can learn more about the world and ourselves. Yes, my greatest enemy is myself, but in being so, I am also my own greatest weapon.