Dear self, I am proud of you for getting up each morning knowing that you will be in the same cycle again. I am proud of you for putting back that smile on your lips even if you badly needed to cry. I am so proud of you for holding back those tears even if you are crashing from the inside. I am so proud of you for taking care of everyone even if you are on the verge of giving up. I am so proud of you for fighting those battles, even if you are deeply wounded. But I am so sorry for putting you in so much pain, for putting you out in that battlefield with worn out armor, for still fighting even if you are heavily wounded, for winning everyone's battles even if you are loosing your own. I am so sorry for pushing you to the limits, for all the stressful days, for all the tensions, the sadness, the mental torture. I am so sorry. Please, come back, can you please surrender the fight? please know that you have done more than enough, please get out of that field and let us start healing again? Is it possible that you'll put your self first this time? Is it possible for you to take a look at the mirror again? Self, please come back