Go make yourself some friends or you will be lonely." These words were exactly what our moms would tell us as 7-year-olds. As kids, we didn't understand what that really meant, did we? It was a big, big world, but we thought we were bigger, pushing each other to the limits we were learning quicker.  Little did we know that we were pushing ourselves for something bigger, something that changed us kids. That physical and emotional transition from childhood to adulthood. My coming-of-age story is a little multifaceted, a preteen that saw the world as nothing but a rainbow land and white fluffy clouds, but trust me, it was way more than that, and of course you know I learned that the hard way. A little girl is being asked frequently, "Are you a boy or a girl?"" Just because she had a little mustache or had her father's features, anyways I would answer (confusedly), "Yes, I'm a girl," but deep inside a feeling grew in me, and it is that feeling that no matter how hard I try, I'll always be the skinny, hideous girl. Funny because I was even told by strangers not to wear dresses as it made me look like "they are not feeding you at home, are they?"" . Remember the father I told you I got my features from? Well, I could say this was the only thing I got from him because he was never there and even if he would only make things worse. It was that prep school and high school interval where everything started to take a different turn; the careless feeling about the hate and the bad all around is no longer here; instead, all you can feel is distress, not because "you are a teenager; it's probably just the hormones," as they say, but as we all know, once that overwhelming feelings gets into you, it never goes away.  My high school experience was full of ups and downs. The people I called my friends were the main reason for my sadness and anger. I always wondered how a human being can be mean, and as you become more mature, you understand that those kids that bully others were either raised by people who hurt or went through something, but that doesn't change the fact that whatever happened to me or other kids like me , from them was okay. I became more insecure and anxious as time passed, as we all learned pretty privilege is a thing if you are pretty; you are well treated otherwise suspicious follows. But to me the word "pretty" is subjective, because we were taught that if you have the paper white teeth, ideal body, and straight hair, then you are perfect! Which, of course, would let us girls either starve ourselves or binge eat. Not only that but also put tons of makeup. For me, makeup was a perfect solution for a girl that dislikes her face and wants to hide behind it. Okay, so everything is perfect now, isn't it? . Until you start to feel like you are losing yourself, you are nothing but a people-pleaser. It's like you tried too hard to fit in, and the consequences were that you don't know how to feel anymore because you always overlooked your emotions. "Am I being dramatic or does it actually hurt?" Everything around you becomes weird and erratic, and it only gets worse when all you could think about is how anxiety is taking over you and how you changed from a girl with a positive mindset to a girl with a negative mindset—a girl that wants to escape everything—a girl that feels useless.  I'm not overreacting, am I? Because trust me, my head feels like a jungle from trying to fit in and that overwhelming feeling about everything. Will I ever be able to land a job? I mean, look at me, I can barely even have a conversation without staying silent the whole time because you can say I'm overwhelmed by being judged through every word that comes out of my mouth. If there is something I believe in though, it is that we learn from everything we go through. To live life, you need problems. If you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?  This whole coming-of-age experience taught me a lot of things, including the fact that even though I'm 19 I'm still young and I still have plenty of things that could be done, and all I have to do is let it end and let something better begin.  Dear me,  It's time to let go.  Everything will fall into place. Let's start living life and making decisions, believing and knowing that the things we are worried about are working out in our favor. We are so used to buying into the mindset that asking for help is a heavy task. But I want you to know, take time in allowing the universe to deliver the abundance that is already yours! Believe that things come back to trust with continued surrender. Even though it might not feel as though, things are working out in our favor. Live, laugh, and love!!!