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A Longing for Adventure
Dec 27, 2019 4 years agoWhat is this adventure you are all so desperately seeking? Is it to climb the highest peaks? Is it to live as if commitment was an ancient concept? Or is it to see how far you can go Away from anything that may keep you on this ground Is this the adventure you desire? Because there is another that is much sweeter One that doesn't leave you with groggy eyes And unsatisfied An adventure Dare I say.. To rest To not keep going But to stop Long enough to listen to your own minds chatter Long enough to feel that emptiness inside your soul You didn't know it was there, Did you? On all those grand adventures There is no time for silly matters of the heart It is about what is next The how do I do that? The how do I climb that? The how do I get to that? But on this adventure The greatest adventure It is all within you. Waiting to be tapped into. But you my friend, Are so fixed on what lies ahead. Persistently pushing on To see that something Because if you stop? You have failed And you will have to face the reality Of your heart That this adventure you desperately seek Is actually one for the weary and meek
A Conversation about Love
Nov 12, 2019 4 years agoHe said to me, “I don't know why anyone wouldn't love you”. It wasn't a question. The old man wasn't asking about past loves. He simply stated it. Out of the blue. As I wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his forearm because his upper arm was too fat. It caught me off guard. And he noticed the tilt in my head and squint in my eyes as the words passed through my ears. How does one respond to that. Especially here, at work, in the hospital. Was he being inappropriate or just trying to be nice? Whichever he was, it left me with a pit in my stomach. “I don't know why anyone wouldn't love you”. We hadn't spoke of my love life. Maybe he noticed there was no ring on my finger. How could he know of a love I loved but did not love me back? He didn't. He didn't know there was someone he was speaking about when he said those words to me. A few moments passed, and as I took off the blood pressure cuff I had a response. “I guess I haven't met the right person yet”. It was a better response than “I don't know”. And I thought it would be satisfying to the old man. Just enough thought to entertain him, but not enough to continue this conversation. An art I have mastered. But to my dismay, he continued on. “So you are picky?” Now I was beginning to think this was dancing on the lines of inappropriate. So I told myself I would give him one more answer then this conversation would be over and I would leave. I have never let a man know me enough to truly love me, though he may have thought he did. He was in love with the mask I so carefully crafted. Until time wore down its corners and it began peeling away. He realized that in fact it was not me he was in love with at all. These thoughts never left. But as I left the old man's room, I fluffed his pillow one more time, turned down the lights, looked him in the eyes gave him a smile and said, “I'll be back to check on you in an hour.” Then pulled the curtain and shut the door behind me.
