I've had many people slip in and out of my life over the years. Some people stay for a few weeks, and some of them last for years. I do think about them sometimes, but there's one person that always stays in the back of my mind no matter where I am, who I'm with, or what I'm doing. Once in a lifetime, you meet a person that truly understands. You meet someone that is a perfect foil of your favorite qualities in a person. Usually, when I drift away from someone, I accept it. Sometimes, it even stings a little to let them go, but I still find ways to cope with the absence of them in my life. However, there's someone that I lost years ago, and no matter how much time passes, I can't get over their loss. They were my other half: the greatest friend I've ever had, and probably ever will have. I met them in 5th grade, specifically when our seats were placed next to each other. We were both infatuated with drawing, even though they were leagues better than me. But more importantly, we both loved to laugh. There was never a moment when we weren't uncontrollably giggling at something, which was almost always an inside joke. We had dozens and dozens of inside jokes, enough to fill entire pages with nonsense. I didn't realize it at the time, but the memories I created with them were some of, if not the most cherished memories I have. I didn't realize that I would never feel companionship like that again, and I regret taking it all for granted. I also regret never expressing to them how much they meant to me. They were never the sentimental type, so I thought it would be out of place to get all sappy about our friendship. They have no idea that I still think about them a lot. They have no idea how much I replay our memories together whenever I need a reminder of how good life can get. They changed me for the better, and there are no words to express how grateful I am for that. By 7th grade, we had completely stopped talking to each other for multiple reasons out of our control. At the time, I didn't even realize that we had stopped talking. It all happened so gradually that I failed to notice. At first, only a few days of silence would go by before we struck up another conversation, but days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and when I finally realized how much time had passed since we had last talked, it had been almost 2 years. The time of my life when we were friends is still the time of my life that I remember the most fondly, and I'd go as far to say that they were one of the reasons why it sticks out so much in my mind. I was old enough to understand the world and what was important to me, but I was young enough to live without responsibility and feel truly free. It took me another couple of years to realize how much I missed them. I would still have fun with friends, but I was never as carelessly joyful as I was when I was with them. I would still draw, but without my drawing companion, I couldn't find any joy in it. A void had formed in my life, a void that was shaped like them. Of course, after we had stopped talking, I made new friends, some of which I've grown very close with, but nobody has ever compared to the 5th grade artistic prodigy I cracked jokes with at recess. I was never going to find anybody like them, and I accepted that. The past year has been really rough for me. The looming stress of college applications as well as numerous personal incidents has really impacted my mental health, something which has been considerably good my entire life. On one particularly bad night when I desperately needed human contact, I made the bold decision to message them out of the blue. I still had their number after 4 years. To break the ice, I messaged them one of our old inside jokes. I got a response almost instantly, and we had our first conversation in years. Suddenly, all of my yearning for the past and the feeling that it gave me melted away because I had the memory back that I longed for the most: them. The first night we talked was filled with laughter, so much laughter. I don't think I'll ever forget that night. Reconnecting with them has been one of the greatest decisions I've ever made. Ever since that night, I've been in such high spirits. I never thought I'd say it, but I have my friend back. I don't know where I'd be right now if I never made the decision to message them that night. The topic of “past friends” has always been elusive and misunderstood. We often think the worst of them. We believe that they must want nothing to do with us. We think of ourselves too much, and don't realize that people have the capacity to remember us just as much as we have the capacity to remember them. Your old friends aren't lost forever, especially ones that are only a message away. I guarantee that they'll be nothing but happy that you thought of reaching out to them, and who knows? Maybe they won't be an "old" friend anymore, maybe they'll just be a friend.