.

Chanda Kimyata Clark "Kim"

In Love With God, In Love To Aspire, To Uplift Others Through Optimistic, Spiritual Words, Writings...

Memphis, United States

How do I began, many ask themselves, beginning to describe who, unto whom they are.... Indeed, yet, still evolving into who, into whom you, yourself are, becoming to be.... Many depths of me, myself, lost in the fog of life's experiences of turbulence, turmoil thundering, creating invisible lightning in thus borrowed vessel, spirited soul..... My biography, so fulfilling of tremendous losses, abrupt pain, painfulness..... Trying to explore memoirs of memories, of happy uncontrollable laughter that once fulfilled me, as oxygen, carbon dioxide, nitrogen, including gases of methane does in order to be, in order to live.... Losses of a father terrorized this ache of a heartbeat... Losing that one, that only being, opposite sex that truly treated me like a princess, nurturing a young, naive heart into characteristics, persona of that, which would be a security of knowing herself, extreme high confidence of an African-American Queen, once told, the mighty Blessings of my own middle name, "Kimyata", represents "Black Queens", "Royalty" in thy heart.... Day after Father's Day, 1998, my African American King, began soaring into the mighty womb, of our Creator.... Not too long, after such, devastating, devastation took its course of strength within.... Months later, a week before Christmas, my brother taken.... Taken by God's merciful graces.... As seen to be accepted now, but then, my being was totally numb.... Numb with hurt, as numbness claimed me, courted yours truly, as the domino effectiveness, weighed in clearly, back then, to lead a confused pathways of life, of what was real, some categories of denial.... Many, many losses since then, seemingly back to back, oh yeah to back....Lost in a bewildering maze of steady numbness, confusion... Taking upon myself to run from responsibility... Getting married after two extraordinary losses of the only men in my life, that I ever knew of.... Never asking my dad, my brother, about these "African-American, Black Men"..... Unknowingly, a spiritual soul full of consequences from not knowing myself, knowing what I wanted, or even in who, to whom I am, was.... Graduating from my dad's alumni, "Tennessee State University".... A month later, marrying into an unequally yoked, union.... Never discussed unto God first..... A Blessing of a son, yet, consequences of years of hurt, disrespectfulness, infidelities lost now into a divorce.....

"Aligned Harvests"

Jun 27, 2018 6 years ago

Nevertheless, never understood, understanding.... Sit back with plaques of engraved named judgements.... Staring, picking apart in memoirs of memories.... Not once asked an honest biography concerning you.... Unknown created battles in order to align a heartbeat in God's harvested pastures, evident evidence of life's prolonging pathways of committed strengths..... Staring visions in a battle of judgements of you, not understanding the causes interrogated behind the benefits of why you are the way that you are.... Conversations never conceived of humanistic values, only to tear in caution of just being difficult, portraying "mean girl syndrome", many years of long sufferings of unhappiness genre..... Once more, nevertheless, fingers pointed, less likely of a fulfilled ring finger.... In search of happiness of his wealth, never wealth already sown from Yahweh's heartbeats of treasures... Moral Compass of Dignity that can, will never be replaced.....

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Prisoner of Empathy, of Hopefulness

May 09, 2018 6 years ago

I keep asking myself, without my own lips moving, "Am I a good person?".... Now, today, even upon yesterday, I kept asking myself, "Am I a good individual? Why doesn't my own family (what is left of it) treat me a certain way, that to me, cuts me, deepened each time, a small intentional trial, position, issue, circumstance, problem breezes into me, a flowing breeze that doesn't kiss my forehead with instant warmth, yet, with their own policies through active behaviors, as if I am nothing.... The disrespect from the very one, once lived in my womb, actively trying my patience.... As if, qualities of screams, yells, are suppressed anxiously in purities of silences..... Listening to gospel, feeling every word of each sentimental lyric, seeing God's dimples of merciful graces consumes me.... Praising God on my own, stares not understanding, yet I am blinded by Yahweh's children singing effortless praises consistently through song... Calming the spirit within, to me, this is all I have, all I have, mentally, with still Blessings of working five senses, with still Blessings of working limbs, heartbeats, the aftermath of calming, parting of once "Red Seas", with prices of possibilities.... A son, fulfilled still, with anger, with rolling of the eyes of such disrespect, out of the blue, unless the spirit of the Denzel once movie "Fallen", has now incorporated aimlessly into that of my own son's being..... The mumbles, the "hard headedness", gaining a three point status to conquer the game.... Lost, mindset, seriously, up and down, each moment, each day of God's Blessings.... Lost for words of his demeanor, tone of voice, yet, now, I just truly, give it all to God.... Lost in turbulences of my own demons.... Severe Anxiety, now a permanent roommate in me of "Bipolar Depression", now, a societal angry cries of chaos, trying to make sense of what we as humans, humanity, never meant for all of life's spontaneous weaknesses, never meant to be considerate, properly researched, nor understood..... Yet, calming distances, portray seas of stillness in category five..... Internal disagreements, each day a Blueprinted Blessing, growing spiritually, lost causes of distinctive grievances... Negativity, trying its best to break such synergy released, yet, packed heavily inside an already infected womb..... A womb swarming in the life's likes, continuous, interrupted seasons of destruction, detailing energies of flooding cries.... Always misunderstood, well, seems effectively to be... Yet, I try to exist faithfully, with utmost respect.... Nevertheless, what intentionally happens to me, unto you, upon anyone when the same, ultimate, intimate respect isn't given greatly back..... "Breathe in, breathe heavily out", when the same is yet, is now looked over, looked over, beyond that which is you..... A prisoner living within its own heart of forgiveness, empathy, hopefulness to become more... Become more, of God's identical twin, reflecting through that mirroring dimple of a gorgeous, of Yahweh's phenomenal smile..... Living as a prisoner of empathy....

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Prisoner of Empathy, of Hopefulness

May 09, 2018 6 years ago

I keep asking myself, without my own lips moving, "Am I a good person?".... Now, today, even upon yesterday, I kept asking myself, "Am I a good individual? Why doesn't my own family (what is left of it) treat me a certain way, that to me, cuts me, deepened each time, a small intentional trial, position, issue, circumstance, problem breezes into me, a flowing breeze that doesn't kiss my forehead with instant warmth, yet, with their own policies through active behaviors, as if I am nothing.... The disrespect from the very one, once lived in my womb, actively trying my patience.... As if, qualities of screams, yells, are suppressed anxiously in purities of silences..... Listening to gospel, feeling every word of each sentimental lyric, seeing God's dimples of merciful graces consumes me.... Praising God on my own, stares not understanding, yet I am blinded by Yahweh's children singing effortless praises consistently through song... Calming the spirit within, to me, this is all I have, all I have, mentally, with still Blessings of working five senses, with still Blessings of working limbs, heartbeats, the aftermath of calming, parting of once "Red Seas", with prices of possibilities.... A son, fulfilled still, with anger, with rolling of the eyes of such disrespect, out of the blue, unless the spirit of the Denzel once movie "Fallen", has now incorporated aimlessly into that of my own son's being..... The mumbles, the "hard headedness", gaining a three point status to conquer the game.... Lost, mindset, seriously, up and down, each moment, each day of God's Blessings.... Lost for words of his demeanor, tone of voice, yet, now, I just truly, give it all to God.... Lost in turbulences of my own demons.... Severe Anxiety, now a permanent roommate in me of "Bipolar Depression", now, a societal angry cries of chaos, trying to make sense of what we as humans, humanity, never meant for all of life's spontaneous weaknesses, never meant to be considerate, properly researched, nor understood..... Yet, calming distances, portray seas of stillness in category five..... Internal disagreements, each day a Blueprinted Blessing, growing spiritually, lost causes of distinctive grievances... Negativity, trying its best to break such synergy released, yet, packed heavily inside an already infected womb..... A womb swarming in the life's likes, continuous, interrupted seasons of destruction, detailing energies of flooding cries.... Always misunderstood, well, seems effectively to be... Yet, I try to exist faithfully, with utmost respect.... Nevertheless, what intentionally happens to me, unto you, upon anyone when the same, ultimate, intimate respect isn't given greatly back..... "Breathe in, breathe heavily out", when the same is yet, is now looked over, looked over, beyond that which is you..... A prisoner living within its own heart of forgiveness, empathy, hopefulness to become more... Become more, of God's identical twin, reflecting through that mirroring dimple of a gorgeous, of Yahweh's phenomenal smile..... Living as a prisoner of empathy....

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