This affirmation is written for women everywhere to remind you that you are wonderfully made, precious and powerful. I am worthy deserving confident and capable of achieving everything I want in every area of my life. I am committed to my personal development each day. I give up being perfect for being my authentic self. I am confident as myself. I love myself. I love others. I am a confident queen that adds value and enriches the lives of others. I am patient forgiving and empathic to myself, my family and others. I am committed to following through with the necessary actions such as mediation, affirmations and reading daily. I am committed to exercising and scheduling time to develop my vision for my life. I make quality choices daily. I am personally responsible for my actions and reactions. I stay present and move forward in the direction of love, peace and queen worthy success. I am smart, I am strong, I am able, I am beautiful, I am a confident queen. I am a child of God.

I went to play golf with my husband today and he said something to me so profound that I woke from my sleep this evening to take note. My husband has been teaching me to play golf. I have been around the game for a while, however, I just gained the courage to take on this enlightening game for myself. Today when we went to play I did awesome on the first hole. I was amazed. I hit the driver and the ball went far and straight. I was so proud of myself I said “wow” and put both arms high in the air to celebrate. My husband looked at me and said good job. I said Thank you. My shoulders and confidence was high. I placed the driver back in my bag and then walked toward my ball with a smile. I picked the 5 from my bag. Proud that I knew what club to use and how to use it. I hit my ball and another great shot. The ball went straight and landed on the green and now it was time for me to putt. I stood behind the ball like he had taught me and then went for the shot. It was a little short but it was a good miss. I understood what I needed to change and was confident I could make the change. The next putt went in. I smiled all the way to the next hole. As I approached the next hole, I felt prepared but lacked some confidence with this hole. So instead of going with what I thought to do I asked my husband, my coach what club to use. He recommended the 5. It was the right club to use but deep down I wanted to use the driver. I was not yet hitting the ball the distance the club was capable of so I wanted to use a club that will hit longer. Even so, I followed his instructions and the ball didn't do what I wanted it to do. I turned to my husband and said, that is not the right club for this for me. We had some space and time before the next golfer was coming so I walked quickly to my bag and tried a different club. The ball still didn't do what I wanted it to do. So, I went back one more time and picked up the club I wanted to use originally. I hit another ball, this was my 3rd try. The ball still didn't do what I wanted it to do. I was frustrated, I blamed the club, I blame my husband. I had just come off of playing a great game the first hole and then this. I was upset at myself for not trusting my first pick. I walked back to my bag, put the club back and walked with my husband toward the green. He spoke words of truth to me in a kind and profound way. He said, clubs are like jobs. They are each designed to do a certain job. He told me I needed to learn how to get the club to its job based on the distance I needed to hit the ball. He said I could have used a different club but I would not be learning the full use of the right club. He said I quit the club without learning how to allow it to do its job. He said golf is a hard game, and I needed to be kind and patient with myself and with practice I would learn how to use each club. I listened and I clearly understood what he was saying. His statement made me think about how we are all designed to do a certain job or purpose. Yet oftentimes others don't recognize the gift or abilities in us because we don't yet understand it's full capability. It was me that missed the mark. I wanted to place blame instead of taking responsibility. I needed to get to know my club more in order for us to work in harmony and get the ball to do what it was designed to do. Yet, I choose to quit the club and say it wasn't the right one when it really was. Two of the clubs I used on the second hole had just performed for me perfectly on the previous hole when I operated it correctly. Yet, how soon, I forgot all it had done for me when the ball didn't do what I thought it should do on the next hole. When I placed blame on my husband and my club not only was I discounting my ability to improve with practice, I also discounted his wisdom because I had closed myself off from being teachable at that moment. This experience brought to mind a quote by Abraham Lincoln that says “I don't like that man, I must get to know him better”. For that moment I didn't like that club but in reality as I take time to know it better we will work in harmony to accomplish great things. How many times have we not liked someone and made a judgement call about their ability before getting to know them. We are all designed for a purpose and our purposes are connected. Therefore, we need to learn to get to know one another rather than deciding that we don't like one another. When we begin taking the time to get to know the one we once decided we don't like we may discover that they are wonderfully made. So don't conclude too quickly about what a thing or person is capable of. Instead, get to know them better. As we do, we will begin to recognize the greatest inside of them and inside of us.

Quarantine life has been a time of reflection. I live in an area that has not had a high number of people with the virus. Although we have had some restrictions we have had many opportunities. This time has been filled with emotions and internal battles to try to make the best of this time and not just watch this time pass me by. I have been successful at this on some days and other days were just a blur. My pantry and I have had a love, hate relationship. I love the way the snack releases anxiety for the moment. I hate that I have been eating for comfort and it shows all around my waist line. On my good days mediation on my back porch has helped me find and keep my peace. My long walks in the neighborhood helped me balance my waistline and my emotions. I have felt uncertain, thankful, overwhelmed, worried, peaceful, grateful, happy and sad all in a day's time. I realize my emotions are impacted by my perspective. Therefore, I listen and read often to try to stay focused and grateful. Quarantine would either be a time to get ahead or fall behind. I wanted my time to count. Homeschooling was ok on most days. My children are responsible. They did what they were assigned to do. However, they had a lot of free time and they could have done more. I missed the libraries being open. I spent a lot of money on books. My kids read quickly and they don't like to read books twice. Combined my household has read over 100 books this year. The closed library doors resulted in too much time on technology. I ran out of ideas on some days. I made them go outside every day but still, not enough time was spent outside playing nor reading. I felt a self-imposed pressure and responsibility to make this time useful and productive. But, some days, I just let it go. I barely had enough push to push me let alone push them too. So I did what I could when I could and I made sure they had all they needed to survive. We had a 10 minute bible study at the end of the day, and a 10 minute life lesson led by my husband. We had a good meal and family talks each evening. We had movie times, news time and some great outside walks and play time. Everyday wasn't awesome, but we shared great moments. I am thankful for the extra family time. I was nice to slow down for the moment. I was grateful to breathe and have room to be bored. I watched the pain of others from a distance. It was like a numbness and disconnected when watching the news. I realize people were sick and dying but I knew no one personally who tested positive from the virus or died. The news used fear to keep us bound instead of spreading knowledge to keep people safe. More information should have been talked about how to keep our immune systems strong. It was those with compromised immune systems that were getting sick. It is time for us to take more responsibility for our health. More real food less processed food. A hard thing to do in a stressful time but a necessary thing to do to stay well. The virus exposed the deep gaps in our educational system especially in science and math. Many had a blind trust of the news. We should not have had so many people needing food after being out of work for only 1 or 2 weeks. We have to figure out how to take more responsibility for our health and our money. I was sad to see that video game companies were making more money than book companies. To me this speaks to so many trying to escape reality rather improve it. Many decisions were made on half truths because so many don't know enough to even ask the right questions. Even after all this, we will soon see if social distancing and shutting down the economy was really necessary. Now that protests are happening and social distancing is not, I wonder if it was all a tactic to keep people bound. The protest may be our answer to a normal school year. It may prove that our kids can be in the hallways and classrooms together and collaborate; while at the same time gain equal justice and protection and rights for all. There is truth to be applied from the bible virus “ If my people would humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways then I will heal their land” Our land is currently experiencing suffering on various levels. Humbleness and turning from what is not right is our way forward. In the mist of quarantine, and protest, I will continue to do my part to move my family, my people and my community forward. I will educate myself, make sure my children know what it takes and share what I know to help others move forward. So starting today, I'm trading cookies for apples and anxiety for mindfulness consistently. When my body is healthy and my mind is hopeful I can walk in my purpose of being a part of solving underline issues rather they be health related, social, racial or economical. Let's not get stuck on the surface. We impact the world around us with greatest when we take charge of what is going on inside of us.