Quarantine life has been a time of reflection. I live in an area that has not had a high number of people with the virus. Although we have had some restrictions we have had many opportunities. This time has been filled with emotions and internal battles to try to make the best of this time and not just watch this time pass me by. I have been successful at this on some days and other days were just a blur. My pantry and I have had a love, hate relationship. I love the way the snack releases anxiety for the moment. I hate that I have been eating for comfort and it shows all around my waist line. On my good days mediation on my back porch has helped me find and keep my peace. My long walks in the neighborhood helped me balance my waistline and my emotions. I have felt uncertain, thankful, overwhelmed, worried, peaceful, grateful, happy and sad all in a day's time. I realize my emotions are impacted by my perspective. Therefore, I listen and read often to try to stay focused and grateful. Quarantine would either be a time to get ahead or fall behind. I wanted my time to count. Homeschooling was ok on most days. My children are responsible. They did what they were assigned to do. However, they had a lot of free time and they could have done more. I missed the libraries being open. I spent a lot of money on books. My kids read quickly and they don't like to read books twice. Combined my household has read over 100 books this year. The closed library doors resulted in too much time on technology. I ran out of ideas on some days. I made them go outside every day but still, not enough time was spent outside playing nor reading. I felt a self-imposed pressure and responsibility to make this time useful and productive. But, some days, I just let it go. I barely had enough push to push me let alone push them too. So I did what I could when I could and I made sure they had all they needed to survive. We had a 10 minute bible study at the end of the day, and a 10 minute life lesson led by my husband. We had a good meal and family talks each evening. We had movie times, news time and some great outside walks and play time. Everyday wasn't awesome, but we shared great moments. I am thankful for the extra family time. I was nice to slow down for the moment. I was grateful to breathe and have room to be bored. I watched the pain of others from a distance. It was like a numbness and disconnected when watching the news. I realize people were sick and dying but I knew no one personally who tested positive from the virus or died. The news used fear to keep us bound instead of spreading knowledge to keep people safe. More information should have been talked about how to keep our immune systems strong. It was those with compromised immune systems that were getting sick. It is time for us to take more responsibility for our health. More real food less processed food. A hard thing to do in a stressful time but a necessary thing to do to stay well. The virus exposed the deep gaps in our educational system especially in science and math. Many had a blind trust of the news. We should not have had so many people needing food after being out of work for only 1 or 2 weeks. We have to figure out how to take more responsibility for our health and our money. I was sad to see that video game companies were making more money than book companies. To me this speaks to so many trying to escape reality rather improve it. Many decisions were made on half truths because so many don't know enough to even ask the right questions. Even after all this, we will soon see if social distancing and shutting down the economy was really necessary. Now that protests are happening and social distancing is not, I wonder if it was all a tactic to keep people bound. The protest may be our answer to a normal school year. It may prove that our kids can be in the hallways and classrooms together and collaborate; while at the same time gain equal justice and protection and rights for all. There is truth to be applied from the bible virus “ If my people would humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways then I will heal their land” Our land is currently experiencing suffering on various levels. Humbleness and turning from what is not right is our way forward. In the mist of quarantine, and protest, I will continue to do my part to move my family, my people and my community forward. I will educate myself, make sure my children know what it takes and share what I know to help others move forward. So starting today, I'm trading cookies for apples and anxiety for mindfulness consistently. When my body is healthy and my mind is hopeful I can walk in my purpose of being a part of solving underline issues rather they be health related, social, racial or economical. Let's not get stuck on the surface. We impact the world around us with greatest when we take charge of what is going on inside of us.