I woke up this morning, cold, so cold my breathe could be seen. I stepped my naked foot on to the icy floor. I quickly reacted by pulling back and reaching down in search for slippers. With no luck I reached over to a dresser drawer to grab a pair of socks. I check windows for a draft. I checked the radiator for heat. Nothing, obviously. I went on into the kitchen and turned on the oven. I filled pots with ice cold water from the pipes and put them on the fire. To the bedroom now to put on something warm and comfortable. I grabbed another blanket for my son and tucked him in tight.\n I sat with patience. The water in the pots were quick to boil. I removed the lids and opened the oven. I knew that would do the trick. I dipped a mug in the boiling water and grabbed a wash cloth from the bathroom. In the kitchen I mixed cold and hot boiling water for water warm enough to wash my face. I look at the clock and it's minutes to seven. Yet darkness is standing still through the window. I continue to make some warm cocoa with a tablespoon of coffee. Need to jumpstart the hellish day ahead. With a mug in hand I got to power on the TV. Who knows where the remote is? Who cares? I barely listen to the news waiting for the weather update and drink from the mug. I hold the warm cup which is cooling off too quickly for my liking.\n Angered by the combination of bitter cold weather with no heat or hot water, I decide to shut the TV off. I grab my phone. I go straight to my ig and scroll. A few memes and a couple videos sure do get the mood to change and I could feel warmth filling the house. I head to the kitchen to turn off the fire under the boiling pots. the bigger pots still full of hot water while the small pot nearly empty. I leave the oven on with the large pot of water for when I need hot water. \n I find myself in a mood. A mood to sit and remember. So I write. I write about my now when cold woke me. I write about before when cold woke me. There I was where no girl should be. Late at night on a empty D train refusing to go home to my miserable life. I was determined with no plan ahead, there is where I'd never go back. The chill in the air could have touched me and it would be no different than the look from the adult man ahead of me. He probably wondered why I was alone. More likely though he saw opportunity to take advantage of a young, gullible, stupid, stubborn girl. \n \"Hi\" he began speaking but I didn't respond. At least not for a few stops. I, at the moment could only think you would rather be indoors safe, then sleeping on the D train(which I had done several nights before). Didn't matter to me a stranger was in my presence or the danger I could be in just to avoid the danger I would be in if I went home. Didn't care of who would worry. Didn't believe anyone would. I lit up. Put my best smile on. A few moments of shy flirting and he and I was off those hard train seats and in a comfty cab. I didn't see where I was going. I don't know why I didn't look. It would later be an obstacle.\n He carried my school bag for me. Maybe he was a gentleman. Offered me a drink. Compliments flowed like the drinks he poured easy and smooth, yet much too strong for me to swallow. We talked about nothing for a while. I attempted to feel out the situation I was in (he did too as his eyes glazed me, I am sure he would come to the conclusion he'd get sex and soon), making since of the madness. This, behavior I had grown use to because I had done before for food, shelter and a bed. I had been lucky not to be killed by a complete stranger. Maybe something different was in-store for me. \"I have nowhere to go tonight, mind if I stay with you\". Most grown men say no. He wasn't most grown men. He asked about my home life. Much to complicated to discuss and yet he could see how much pain I was in by just the thought. He touched me soft, gentle. Unsure of whether the nature was to console or sexual, I was incapable of being seduced.\n Attempting to kiss me but I was disgusted. I walked to the bathroom. Quickly closed the door. I sat on the floor. It was so cold that bathroom. Woke me out of the moment I was in; and nothing would warm me but the moment of getting into my bed. No matter the punishment I would go home and get in my bed. I left the bathroom. I grabbed my bag. I almost walked out the door. \"We don't have to do anything, just stay please\". That probably were true. I had it happen so many times that this could be the time I cuddle with a stranger fully dressed, or slept with one to stay the night. Either way it would be greatly safer than what a night at home would be. I awoke next to a man I didn't know. I was cold. I was alone. Afraid to touch him I got up quietly. I went for my school bag. I went out the door.\n