We yearn for connection yet isolate ourselves. We dream for someday, instead of trying for today. We seek Love but fear the End. We want to change but don't take action to change. We advocate for education, then bury students in loans or tuition. We desire health, but for a price. We demand better leaders but don't think to lead. We wish for a better world, but not at the cost of comfort and convenience. There is a disconnect here. We crave many kinds of stuff but never take action and sacrifice our time, energy, focus. This reminds me of the person who wants to catch a large shark in a small river. Also, I met with many people who are not fulfilled with their lives even though others live even worse. I firmly believe that the future belongs to those who worked hard today, and humankind was certainly created into hardship (90:4). We should definitely sacrifice something every day to get it. That's a process and requirement, as nothing comes with ease. Nevertheless, some people in the world blindly follow anyone depending on their certain qualities, skills, or just for fame. In some cases, role models are like a torch of light who inspires and guides in the darkness; even they usually have remarkably successful stories to demonstrate as a perfect example. We actually opt for someone admirable in our eyes and attempt to be like him/her because they sometimes give us motivation with their stimulating work and consistency. I trust the concept that if you work hard to be a better individual in terms of both religion and simple life, all of these will pay off in the future, like working (studying) 6-7 years and resting 30-40 years or even more. So anyway, when someone questions me about role models, they will expect responses like a writer or entrepreneur, maybe even a well-known person such as the president. However, garbage collector children with a pure, innocent, and naive face who fight with life every day, hour, and minute to survive in this life are an excellent role model for anyone. Simultaneously, others are too sluggish to struggle for their future in the appropriate circumstances and possibilities. These children may pray outside, not in a masjid, but their status is much higher than anyone else because this Dunya (life) was made for a test (29:1). And the most crucial point is the intentions of the person toward everything. It doesn't matter if someone is a sanitation worker or CEO of a giant corporation. Still, essentially we all have an equal or even higher position in the grave (depending on ourselves), so we all have to discover our soul, do good deeds, and be effective in as much as possible ways.

August 19, 2020 I am super excited to announce that I will be a part of the class of 2024 family at Georgetown University. I intend to major in International Economics, and I want to minor in Government. I think it is time to express my feelings and gratefulness. First of all, Dear Allah. I thank You for the gift of life and whatever You gave me until now. I also thank You for the gift of the wonderful people I have met along this journey. Some of them inspire me, stretch me, challenge me, love me, and encourage me. Importantly, all of them helped me to realize how meaningful and beautiful my life is. Alhamdulillah!!! Mom and dad, I have no words to acknowledge the sacrifices you made and the dreams you had to let go of, just to give me a shot at achieving mine. But I promise I won't let all that go in vain. I would like to thank all my teachers for offering me the right support and guidance thought the most difficult time of my life. I appreciate your understanding of my situation and willingness to help me during this hard period. To be honest, sometimes I forget to thank the people who make my life happy in so many ways. Sometimes I forget to tell them how much I really do appreciate them for being an essential part of my life. I feel incredibly blessed and I'm so grateful to have such people in my life who believe in me, even more than I believe in myself sometimes. So THANK YOU all of you, just for being here for me. Trust me, you are in my prayers (duas).

Friday, August 21, 2020. Dear Khumoyun I don't know who you are, even though we are the same person. I know you better than anyone else, even though where you are, who your friends are, how your horizon is, or if you even have different dreams as you used to. Right now, I am sitting in the room where you experienced half your life with many issues, dilemmas, and pain as well as joy and happiness. I can see a ceiling you stared at for hours on end when sleep just wasn't agreeing with you. I can see the desktop, full of the various book where you inspired to change your life tremendously to an excellent level. I can see the corner of the room right by the TV, where you liked celebrating special moments or crying on the toughest days. I can see the door you have closed quietly to avoid waking the family when you want to watch the sunrise in the early morning. Writing here, on the laptop that you bought with mum's unforgettable tears. I look around and see my life, which you now know as a memory. You may have forgotten everything about this room because you already have a brand new life in a foreign country but I hope you may not... However, it is the day that you had been waiting for so long and patiently because two days left until you start studying at your dream university. After nearly twenty years of life, I still have yet not discovered what I want to do with my life. I have no idea about what is ahead of me. Also, I have a little bit of fear that I don't want you to read this letter with any kind of regret which is the worst thing in the entire world. By the way, I think it is essential to let you know that I am not a genius, strong, or creative enough now but these are exactly what I expect from you. But more than that, I hope that you figured out what needs to be done, and how to do it. Even after four years, I know that we could still be in the same place: clueless, and being strangled by worry. I know that things could neither change a lot nor change a little. And it's okay if you continue being lost, still searching for a meaning of life. It's okay to face many challenges, being rejected and ignored by others. I hope you stayed friends with those who understand, and I hope that you have realized and completely accepted that it is truly okay to be confused or rejected. I say this to you because I know that this is something that I need to accomplish, but it seems to be taken longer than expected. When people tell you to "be yourself" I hope you know what they mean now. I hope that you are who I wish I could be. I hope that you are someone that I would look up to. Good luck out there, and don't screw it up cause I will be there before we know it See you soon, Khumoyun

December 19, 2019. Written as a university essay. Last night, I was alone at the bus-stop, waiting for the bus to my home. Then, two buses came one behind the other. Both go to my house. I flagged the first bus and got in. During this process, the second bus overtook the first bus and sped on crossing the signal. As my bus moved, the red light flashed. The bus slowed down and stopped for some time. With this, the distance between both the buses increased enormously. To the extent that the bus was out of sight after some time. I then wondered, what if I had flagged the second bus instead? The first bus would have gone ahead crossing the signal. While the second bus would have got stuck in the signal. I would have still been in the same spot. My situation wouldn't have changed. Not even by a millimeter. But— in this case, I would have delayed the journey of the people on the second bus. The people on the first bus would have reached their destination faster. It was in my hand, whether the 20–30 people on the first bus should reach early or the 20–30 people on the second bus should reach early. In some situations, you become a catalyst, you become an agent of change. You remain unchanged throughout the whole process. But you have an effect on others' lives. For example, you have an opening for a watchman post. Two equally qualified people come for the interview. You have the power to choose one. One family would be happy and the other might be sad. It'll all depend on your choice. Extrapolating this will lead to far bigger situations. I once read about connecting the dots and realized the power the universe has on us. Thinking all this last night made me wonder about the opposite— the power we have on the universe.