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Usernameesmegutierrez80
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Hi everyone My name is Esme born in Escondido C.A. I am a mother of six kids that I love so much .I am ready to tell my story and how I learned to selflove my self.
When I was gowning up I did not understand why I was not worthy of being love I would ask my
self why my parents never gave me hugs kiss or tell this day they have not told me the love me .
Fore a long time I was confused the sadness .Being 14 and pregnant was when it hit me .This was the first time I felt love my Baby girl was born when I held Her for the first time I felt that amazing thing called love that connection ,and bond she was my first love .I thought I was finally going be happy .For seven years he beat me always had bruises all over my body him saying to me how much he hated me how he did not love me .I tried to end my life I would ask god to take me I wanted to be free from the hate him always out partying with girls . I was thought t to obey and serve and stay home no friends or family to turn to I was in prison I home with my four kids that I had with him. Cops where called every other day they finally got tiered of being called and me not pressing charges they said next time you are going to be in a body bag .So they arrested him I felt relief scared. My father found and came to tell me that is the father of your kids and your job is to do what he says .I was in tears and got a restraining order. I was 18 with four little kids that I love so much they where my world . I felt free alive I closed this chapter.
I was 18 years old and this guy that I met he was a bad boy exciting man was he charming .We became really good friends and after a moth of dating he asked me to marry him .I said yes he was 27 years old .I took him to meet my mother .The first thing she said I hope your going to take her because I don't want her .
Being 14 and pregnant
Jun 19, 2020 4 years agoI am going way back March 15,1994 The day I found out I was pregnant I told my best friend that I was always tired and Hungary she said lets go get you a test wow like wait, I only had sex with him one time she said that's all it takes. We dished first period and went to del taco and two lines show up .I was so scared to tell my mother and her telling my dad he already had so much hate towards me .So that night I was going to see him again I was so scared to tell him he was 18 already I was just 14 a kid .so told him he says for me to have a abortion I was so num from everything .That same night I told my mother she said you have to get married I told her no please mom he had already punched me in my back I already had bruises. She took me to his parents and told them she's staying here she pregnant and know he's responsible. And she left me just left that night he beat me and give me my first black eye .I called my mom and told her he hit me made me sleep on the floor she said to bad deal with it when my dad found he called me hore and all I am is a slut .I had no one I was alone for 7years that I was with this man he would come home drunk beat me I always had black eyes .I was not aloud to where dresses and makeup or go anywhere I stayed home with my kid by the time I was 18 I had 4 kids with this man that would beat me everyday choke me till I would black out and I had no one I was alone with my kids .He did the same thing my father did to me call me name and beat me I was the hoe .It took me years to under stand why they hated me so much and was I ever going to find happiness was I not worthy of being loved why did love hurt. Know that I am older and learned to love my self and heal from all the pain words hurt more .I always have been alone no family or friends to talk to so I hope by telling just a little about my story will help other that been there or are in a bad relationship and no were to run to .
