Have you ever fell in love with someone you never expected you would? Since I was a kid, I have always been dreaming of marrying a man like Leonardo DiCaprio. Who would not like Leonardo? Pointed nose, pretty eyes, his hairstyle, his body, his smile and everything he is...he is just so perfect! I am also fond of watching romantic movies, listening to love songs and imagining that one day, out of nowhere someone will show up and would tell that he is my prince charming that would save me from danger. Back then, I used to like boys—boys like Leonardo. But you'll never know who you are unless you are at the moment of your confusion. When I was in seventh grade, other girls labeled me as "tomboy" maybe because of how I wear things out—polo, rubber shoes, loose pants and a black cap on my head. I know to myself that I am a girl but the moment they called me something they think I am, the confusion inside me started to grow. "What am I?" I tried to wear shorts, skirts and dresses back then but I just don't like exposing my legs. I tried ironing my hair but I get irritated every time it lands on my face. I tried to kiss my boy best friend but I liked the taste of my lips more. So it turned out that my whole gender crisis ended with me, being true to myself. I used to feel embarrassed when people call me lesbian but today, every time they do the calling, I would say "Yes, I am. And your mom thinks that I am more attractive than your dad." I am happy being like this. This is me. I am a lesbian...or maybe not. Until now, I still like boys, girls, gays and even lesbians. This is so weird but I think I can fall in love with anyone anytime. And yes, I did. I fell in love with someone. I met this girl. Her name is Jessa which is kinda cute because mine is Jhea. I am so happy because I met her. I just wish she felt the same as to how I feel for her. Weeks passed, I asked Jessa to hang out with me one time and thank God, she said yes! I have enjoyed that day and we even kissed. And another thing, I was her first kiss! I was beyond happy that time. I just made the most attractive girl in town kiss me. Jessa is the best thing that ever happened to me. We fell in love with each other but as to the usual thing, only the two of us knew that. We were afraid that the world would see the love that we have as a mistake. Both of our families know that we're seeing each other but we were still afraid that if everybody would find out, things would be harder for us. We can't touch each other. We can't even talk comfortably when everyone is looking. I knew love conquers all but, what if trying to conquer everything means hurting the both of us? God knows how much I love her and how much I wanted to shout to the whole universe how lucky I am to have Jessa but I just can't. I just can't, specially when the first thing that comes out to people's mind is "disgusting" every time they see us together. It is just one day that I realized I can't live my life without Jessa. She is my everything. I want to show the world that we are created by souls not by the body we own. Our body is a trap of how we see love and we don't have a choice for that. Life is all about choices and clearly, I don't have a choice to have this reproductive organ of mine either and it's my choice to fall in love with someone who makes my entire life happy. This is the moment that I am waiting for. It's our 8th anniversary and I guess it's time to kneel down in front of her and ask something very important. Our favorite coffee shop is where I am planning to do the thing. As I enter the place, she's sitting at our favorite spot in the coffee shop and together we said, "I need to say something". And again, in unison we spoke, "what?" we laughed and then she said "okay, you first". I don't want to interrupt what she's gonna say but I don't want to disturb my plan either. I guess what she's about to tell me is something big because she held her hands behind her back and every time she does that, she's nervous about something. I am hesitant at first but then I said "okay" and in a count of three I finally asked her, "Will you marry me?" She is in complete awe and slowly I put the ring on her finger. I remember how much she cried at that moment. It was perfect...so perfect. The alarm clock rings and it's seven o'clock in the morning already. I woke up in tears. I wish Jessa and I married each other before she was raped by stepfather and thrown into the river. I should've listen first to what she's going to tell me that day—about her stepfather abusing and hurting her. It's too late now. It was real love that we had but the world has so much shit to give.