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Usernameshanesollender
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Maker in a myriad of mediums with eternally busy hands.
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Self Portrait at 28
When I am here-
HERE
Not there,
Here, h e r e,
There is fairy dust everywhere.
I am hyper aware of the fact
That the light
fireflies produce
is created by oxygen
so those green glimmers
is us watching
them breathe.
I think about the antique cabinet
Which now resides
in my home
How long it took
someone to carve
Splinters under
their nails
How it used to be
in a church
Holding prayer books
What did the people
Who took those bibles
Beg god for?
Did they feel less alone
As we all are
In our insular perspectives
That’s what love is
The in between
where our existence
Intersects with another’s
Even just for a moment
When I am there
THERE
I don’t remember this.
What I am aware of
Is the creature
Made of spiraling bones
Eternal jagged teeth
Who sits on my chest
And pours toxins
Down my throat-
Till I ingest them
Willingly.
There are bugs-
Not my beloved fireflies
Something unnamed
Crawling under my flesh
I want to peel away
my skin
Not to hurt
Or die
But to know
That I belong
To this body
And that it doesn’t belong
To them.
For this reason
It is difficult
To create
A self portrait
At 28
Or at any age
At all.
I am
an amalgamation
Of moments
Of my fathers head
Crashing through
A windshield
Of my grandfather
Shivering and sick
In a camp
Nazi blood
Staining his clothes
He never left
Even when
his children
Were born.
I am the needle
once buried
under
My skin.
I am the first photograph
I ever saw
Of the first person
I ever fell
In love with
He was grinning
Naked
And in his chest
He had carved the words
Kill Yourself.
I am ferric acid
Eating away copper
To create
An image
I am
my idols
Connected to
The eternal ether
Of their experience
I am every
advancement
That led
To my ancestors
Surviving
I am a calla lily
Held by a bride
Then thrown
In a casket.
Mirrors only reveal
More questions.
Pandemic: Dissociating in Dystopia
Aug 20, 2021 3 years agoI can't remember the first time I experienced the cognitive dissonance of looking at my body and knowing logically it was mine yet feeling like it was a completely separate entity from my inner world, but I remember the first time I tried to talk about it with someone. I couldn't have been more than seven or eight. This was before the impending deaths of my father and grandfather, and my grandparents were driving me back home after a weekend spent staring at the opium weights they had purchased on a trip somewhere in South Asia. My gaze remained steady as I listened to my grandfather's stories about his time in a camp in WWII, his voice trembling as he vacillated between dark jokes and terrorized tears. My grandmother always said he never left. It was as sunny as always as we turned down the street in San Diego where I spent most of my childhood, claustrophobically so. I peered out the window at a plastic green lawn then down to my hands and thighs, a familiar dissociation overwhelming me as I flexed my tiny fingers, examining the peeling skin around nails I bit so short that they bled. My wrists were always bleeding too, along with the back of my knees and the tender skin around my chapped lips, symptoms of my eczema. Even with medical creams underneath layers of bandages, I still scratched while I slept, ripping myself open over and over. I wonder now if I was trying to penetrate this flesh in an attempt to find some connection to this mind underneath. I'm reading a book about trauma called The Body Keeps the Score. One scientific study found a correlation between autoimmune disorders and significant past traumatic events. These events set off a fight or flight response, and the body can overcompensate so greatly that it begins attacking itself. Eczema is an autoimmune disorder. My recollections of my childhood are shrouded, vague shapes, but mostly obscured. This memory in the car is one of the few I have. Maybe this can be attributed to it being a key exemplifying moment of the disconnection I always felt between both pieces of myself and between myself and others. As I gazed at my tiny thighs- how strange it was that they were so slight! Microscopic in the scope of this planet- I asked my grandparents if they too looked in the mirror and saw foreign beings staring back. I assumed it must be universal, and I wanted to understand why it happened and how to cope with it. My grandmother said she had no idea what I was talking about. I now understand that this fracture was made sometime during the course of my life and is not an intrinsic state, but it's still hard to fathom the idea that most people have never experienced this sensation. I don't remember a time where it wasn't always occurring to some extent at any given moment whether I'm thinking about it- naming it- or not. Even when I do not give it attention or words, it scuttles around in the background of my consciousness. I've found ways to alleviate some of the most distressing aspects of this reality. Tiny needles filled with ink have penetrated my skin, depicting visions congruent with my inner world, reminders that this body is mine. As they increase, so does the reassurance that I'm connected to these limbs. Still, there have been times when the chasm between here and there have felt deeper, even recently. Last spring I spent exactly seventy days alone. Towards the end of this period I was tormented by a delusion I knew to be intellectually impossible, yet some part of me still felt it was real, like experiencing fear while watching a horror movie. You know it isn't happening, but it doesn't stop the nightmares. It consisted of the idea that if I was to look in the mirror I would see nothing there. If I looked at my limbs, they'd disappear before my eyes. The only thing confirming my existence was the heaving inhalation and exhalation of the walls of my apartment. Weeks of words unspoken can make you wonder if you're real. What is the difference between me alive and me dead if there is no evidence that I'm still here besides my own perception? I've come to the conclusion that seeking this sort of reassurance that I'm real from others is futile. When I think of that moment in the car, I am most struck by how much more isolated I felt when there was no solidarity, even lonelier than the seventy days I spent alone. Now I'm trying to connect the veins that pump blood through my body to the veins where intangible, hidden, ancient parts of my being reside. Just as my body is mine and mine alone, so too are the chasms. I'm the only one who can navigate them. I'm hoping someday that this archeological dig through my consciousness that I've embarked on might make me feel present in this corporeal form. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm starting to become the understanding adult the seven year old inside me still aches for. This body might still feel like a complete stranger sometimes, but she doesn't.