I was in third grade-well about to enter the third grade after the summer sadly ended, but before that saddened time came to pass, and when the summer vacation first started, my mother decided to put me in camp, which I admit I had been skeptical about at first. She showed me the activities, the trips we'd get to take, and the many opportunities of making friends and I became eager for the first day of this wonderfull soon to be experience of mine!\n\nAnd then, in the timespan of a wink, the first day was here, I don't think I've ever been so happy to get out of bed for just a simple occasion! I mean, this was a big deal; my first summer camp ever! You'd think I'd be nervous, but at the time I was ready to finally make friends my age and be a part of something that I will enjoy.\n\nAnd yes, the first day was awesome, filled with skating and different games to play, I made friends easily and connected well to the camp counselors. They were all so sweet, so happy to have me! But as the end of the day drew closer, I began to wonder when my mother would pick me up-a stupid question, right? You and others would say, \"She'll pick you up when the camp is over just like all parents do!\" but my mind would never believe it.\n\nThen, the marking of the day's end arose, and my eyes suddenly became glued to that front door where all kids once entered, but were now exiting the building. I watched as 1 by 1, minute by minute parents came and left with their children until I was one of the last kids that was still here; waiting to see my mother's face come into view.\n\nMy mind was racing with millions of questions and scenarios, all starting with \"what if?\" or \"why?\" even \"when?\" and no matter what mentally calming technique I tried, I just couldn't seem to stop these heart wrenching thoughts. Before I knew it tears started to collect in the corner of my eyes, soon dripping down my cheeks as my breathing became laborious. I prayed for my mother to come, I wished and hoped and must have sent 10 million pleading messages to god while I balled my eyes out in fear of being left here alone.\n\nBut then finally, through my tears I could see the door open and reveal a familiar loving face that had dropped me off here 6 hours before. Happiness swallowed me whole, and I ran faster then ever towards that beautiful woman who i call my mother. My arms made their way around her form and probably squeezed her half to death, but my care for it wasn't there. I was so happy that I wasn't going to be left here.\n\nYou think that was the end of my panic attack? That I now knew my mother would always come to get me, that she will always love me? I'm sorry, but you have never been so wrong.\n\nThat same situation had repeated each time I was dropped off at that same camp, every week day for 84 hot summer days, and no it wasn't the camp itself that set my nerves on edge. God no, everyone there did the best that they could to help and comfort me, even though it hadn't been enough in the end. My parents had been aware of the situation as well, but they didn't-or rather couldn't do anything to help me.\n\nBut one thing that I'm sure of, now almost 9 years later, that first day of camp is what sparked the mental illness that will forever be a part of my existence: anxiety.