A few weeks ago, I made the difficult decision to keep a secret. Now, several of my friends won't speak to me. Keeping secrets is something I always thought was a part of good character - something that people would find worthy to respect. While my friends now ignore me, I still feel that I made the right decision. A few of us stopped at a local bar for happy hour. Not long after sitting at a table I noticed a familiar face at the bar. So did my other three friends. “Isn't that Mike?” Linda asked in a horrified tone of voice. “Sure looks likes him,” Margie answered. “What do we do?” Terri queried. “Nothing,” I replied trying to sound blasé. Mike was the fiancé of Rena, another of our friends but he wasn't with Rena. He was sitting at the bar, openly flirting with another woman. Although we tried to enjoy the rest of the hour, seeing Rena's fiancé with another woman dampened our mood and before our pitcher of beer was finished, we began saying our goodbyes for the night. “Remember to call Rena,” Margie urged. “You have to tell her,” Linda persisted. “I'll go with you if you plan to visit her,” Terri offered. I stood determined not to do anything to hurt our friend. “Why me? And why are you all so insistent that we hurt Rena and rip apart the relationship she has with Mike? Before we do anything, we should find out how much she knows.” Margie said that since I knew Rena longer, it was not just my job but my obligation to tell her. “You're right,” I said quietly. “I have known her longer and we are closer. It's for that reason, I won't say anything.” Linda gave me a look of disgust and waved her hand in dismissal. As she walked away, I heard her say in what I deemed contempt, “So much for friendships. Glad to know we can all rely on you to watch our backs.” As I stood there in dismay, Terry and Margie said their quick goodbyes and walked to their cars. Here it is, three weeks later and my so-called friends haven't said a word to me. At least not yet! They will call, however, and I'm sure it will be in the next day or two. You see, I didn't have to say anything to Rena about her fiancé. She suspected him of seeing other women for a long time and without telling anyone, was at the same bar that same night and saw him. She visited me three days later and between coffee, wine and a lot of soothing ice cream, poured her heart out. She didn't want her friends involved since this was between her and Mike. Rena felt the more people that knew, the more embarrassing the situation would be. Being a strong woman, she wanted to handle matters in her own way and appreciated me taking a step back. She said it was only a matter of time, anyway, until Mike slipped up. After all, you can't cheat forever and not get caught. That's why she kept putting off arranging a wedding date. Smart girl! I thought as she hugged me before falling asleep on my couch. As I pulled a coverlet over my friend, I realized that no secret is safe. Eventually, the one who starts it, will break it - whether by word or action. Another thing I realized is that there is no need to go running to your best friend with every small detail that might cause hurt. It's more important to be around to pick up the pieces and lend a strong yet comforting shoulder. I also realized that my integrity was still intact and to me, that's something to be proud of. I smile as I think back. A few weeks ago, I made the difficult decision to keep a secret. Now, several friends ignore me like the plague. They still refuse to speak to me. However, once Rena makes known her own discovery, my so-called friends will call again. It's now up to me to deice if I should answer their calls. Friendships work both ways. You can't be a friend only when it's convenient to you and when it's on your terms. A true friend will be there for you, in thick and thin and stand with you rather than turn against you when times get rough. Rena and I are still close and each week to out to dinner to celebrate her new-found freedom. I celebrate my friend and the fact that I took a stand that didn't hurt anyone. There are times when honesty can be hurtful. We must always think twice before we speak. I am ever grateful that I did.