The Beach I don't like the beach at all. Not even a little bit. I make no excuses and no apologies. So there. I hear it all the time. “Oooh let's go to the beach!! I need to hear the ocean waves crashing onto the shore”, or “Ooh lets' go swimming and sunbake and eat fish and chips on the sand.” And the ever popular, “The beach is so relaxing, it helps me to calm my thoughts and I can think clearly again.” Puh-leese. If it's hot, there is no shade and not a tree in sight. Unless it's a tropical island, in which case, good for you. The gentle breeze most people anticipate is, just wind that blows your hair and your belongings around, let's not forget the sand, into places that sand, was never meant to go. Sand. Ugh. The nature of sand means you cannot or should not wear shoes unless you want said shoes filled with it. You take them off only to give your feet third degree burns. So, you either; take off running full speed to get to the water to try to stop the burning OR do a ridiculous dance from one foot to the other until you manage to drop your towel or whatever you plan to sit or lay on (because no-one just SITS on the sand itself. I mean …duh) As far as I am concerned, there should be floor tiles or grass, all the way to the water. It would make for a more pleasant experience all around. As for the water itself, once you get to it, you never really know quite what it is, you are standing on. Or swimming in. Is it the sand moving underneath you? Seaweed? Jelly fish? Why was it suddenly warm, just … there? Shudder. Nope. Just don't.