What is the Lesson? I have always looked for lessons in everything because I know there is one. Quarantine started on March 16, 2020, for most of us. Everything was closed, shut down, and put on pause. It felt like our world was shattering, and during this pandemic storm, a tornado formed with pieces of our life, creating a trail of sorrow in our path. It started with my grandfather becoming bed ridden after a stroke he had earlier in the year. He obtained a bad case of pneumonia and his health deteriorated drastically. During a safe visit with my grandparents, my daughter and her brother went outside to play tag. The driveway was slick and sent my daughter sliding fast where she landed on her knee and cut it to the bone. Despite the risks, I rushed her to the E.R. where she received 11 stitches. As the tornado of life slashed through without ease, I watched my family pull together despite feeling conflicted no matter which way we turned. We were terrified deep within because the world was in a state of emergency. But, we held onto what we knew, and that was the love of our family. The world can't take that away. So, we held onto each other and made the most of each day. Not long after, schools canceled for the remainder of the year, leaving all kids homeschooled. Since schools and social gatherings had been stopped, all of my daughter's dance competitions (already paid for) were canceled until further notice. As if the rain couldn't give us a little sunshine in our path, our dog of six years, Bailey, got into poison from somewhere in the neighborhood and the vet couldn't save her. We had to say good-bye. Then, one evening after dinner, we were entertaining who could jump the highest on our trampoline and I came straight down as my ankle rolled underneath my body weight. To this day I do not know if it was broken, sprained, or fractured. I never went to the Doctor. And to top it all off, on Easter, several real tornadoes hit all around us. We were extremely fortunate and lost power for four days and counted our blessings for that. Using a generator, we managed to save some food and use lights in the house as well as help our neighbors with power. The schoolwork was put on hold unless we used a hot spot from our cellular devices. Here I am two years later looking back on all of these things that happened but remembering the precious times with my children and loved ones. Times that I hope they remember too. It is during these times of trial that we find our strength by lifting others. I am grateful for each of these events because it instilled some of the most beautiful memories and lessons during one of the most terrifying times. None of us knew what was to come, but we took one day at a time and made it an adventure every day. Each one of the “fortunate events” led to something amazing. When my daughter was hurt, she couldn't have danced, so the competitions being canceled was a blessing in disguise. Because our lives were put on hold, we had gained the most precious time with my grandfather before he passed away peacefully over the summer. We can never get that time back and for those moments of life on hold, I am thankful. My ankle healed, like all things do with time. Though Bailey's death was an experience filled with sadness and sorrow, we were given more time with her, and I know she knew how much she was loved. Sharing emotions together is a beautiful experience. Homeschooling the kids was a challenge, and I know others out there can relate. I kept them on a schedule because I know how important that is. I also made sure to sit with them and give them my undivided attention, making that my priority. I heard them when they would tell me, “My teacher doesn't do it like that,” or “I don't want to do this!” Even when they asked me, “Why do I have to get up early? None of my friends do this.” I understood. Listen to me. I will never give up on you, children, and you cannot give up on yourself. Never be a victim of your circumstance. Taking Time Is Okay Some of the most beautiful memories are created during the hardest times, and sometimes, the depths of our sorrow can create a beautiful world of happiness.

It seems like only yesterday when my granddaughter, Stephanie was seven years old. At the time, my son and his family lived in New York making visits infrequent but enjoyable. Seeing them was always a treat. One day in 2005, almost became a disaster. My son, and his family arrived on a Saturday afternoon. While the house was in order and the bedrooms cleaned and ready for them, what I wasn't prepared for was Stephanie's loose tooth. My daughter-in-law wasn't too concerned thinking it would stay put for another two or three weeks, since it didn't seem loose enough to fall out. The plan was a week-long visit with me, then they would be heading to central Florida for a week with Joanne's mom, then back to New York. We did whatever could to make that week fun, interesting, and memorable. One day, we decided to make a trip to a local nature park where we would have the opportunity to see live animals: boars, cows, steer, birds, and alligators. We were all excited since we never had the good fortune to see these animals close enough to take a picture or two. We arrived at the park early and ate the picnic lunch we packed. Not long after we finished eating, it was time to turn in our admission tickets and board the sight-seeing bus for the tour. Anticipation grew. We were eager. But that turned out not to be the highlight of our week. We arrived home late in the afternoon and decided to make a cookout of burgers and hot dogs for dinner with a side dish of homemade macaroni salad. As my husband grilled the food, my daughter-in-law and I set the table. My son and his children were in the pool. Before I knew it, the day was done, and the kids were heading to bed. We four adults stayed up watching TV and taking about the shows we watched. We laughed and had a few great moments, then we headed to our respective bedrooms. Early the next morning, we were awakened by a loud scream. It was my granddaughter. Thinking the worse, all of us raced into her bedroom, expecting to see blood – or - or, we had no idea or what. What we saw was Stephanie standing by the bed, hysterically crying, hold something in one clenched fist. My daughter-in-law quickly wrapped her arms around her daughter and said, “Steph, what's wrong? Please tell me.” Steph pulled away slightly, unfolded her tightly closed fingers, and exposed a tooth! Her tooth! In between sobs, she said, “Mom, the tooth fairy won't know where I am. She'll never find me!” Joanne looked at me a rolled her eyes. That is what had my granddaughter so upset! We tried to console Steph, but it wasn't easy. Then, as if a lightbulb went off in my head, I had an idea. But it had to wait a day. The next day, thinking she'd never get her dollar from the tooth fairy, Steph tried to enjoy our trip to the wharf where we hoped to see dolphins in the harbor. We ate lunch at a local restaurant, walked around a seaside village and then headed home. It was obvious that Steph was trying hard not to spoil the vacation for her family but just as obvious that her heart was longer enjoying it. I pulled my daughter-in-law aside. “Let her stay up a bit later. You'll see why when she falls asleep.” Once Stephanie was asleep, I drove to the supermarket and bought a small bouquet of flowers. Arriving home, I wrote a note, “Dear Stephanie, I apologize that your reward for giving me another tooth was delayed. I went to your house only to find you weren't there. I went to your grandmother in central Florida. You weren't there either. Then, Bingo! Here you are in southwest Florida. I hope these flowers and your extra reward will put a smile on your beautiful face. Love, The Tooth Fairy.” My daughter-in-law laughed and said it was a great idea. My husband and son thought I was crazy. It was worth a shot. I tucked a $5.00 bill in an envelope (a bit larger than normal since the tooth fairy made Steph wait so long), put the flowers in a pretty blue vase, tied a ribbon around the vase, then leaned the envelope with her name printed on the front against the glass vessel with the flowers. Then I quietly exited the bedroom with my fingers crossed. The following morning, we heard, “MOM, MOM! Come look!” Again, we raced in the direction of her bedroom. She was holding her envelope and said, “The tooth fairy found me! She left me money and flowers! My tooth that I put under my pillow is gone! Mom, she found me! I don't know how she did it, but she found me.” My daughter-in-law looked at me and we shared a secret smile. My son and husband, looked at each other and I heard my son say, “Well, I'll be damned!” What might have been a sad week for my granddaughter's vacation, turned out to be a happy surprise and a moment to remember! Yes, what a moment and what a memory! Thanks to the tooth fairy and a supermarket that didn't close early.

Mom was only fifteen when she met my dad – to be more specific, when she first saw him. He was doubled over gasping for air, lying in the street when she saw a crowd huddled over something. She walked over to see what the fuss was about and saw what she described as the handsomest boy she'd ever seen. Dad's hair was dark-blond, and his eyes were milk chocolate brown. Her heart melted as she watched him struggle to catch his breath. He had been playing hockey with his friends and his stick hit a slightly raised manhole cover, got stuck, and as he tried to skate by, jammed him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him causing him to curl into a ball and lie on the ground. Mom cried out, “Don't let him lie in the street. He'll get hit by a car. Carry him to the sidewalk.” Dad's friends first looked at mom like she'd lost her mind but then realized she made her point. The carried dad the few feet to safety. She wouldn't leave his side as his breath began to normalize. Mom held his hand and talked almost non-stop to help him relax. It worked. His breath steadied and soon, he asked, “What's your name and where do you live?” Mom smiled. “Mary and actually, just around the corner.” Dad walked her home and asked if she'd like to hang out with him and his friends later that night. “We're only going to the candy store for some soda; it's nothing special.” To mom, it was more than special. He didn't have to ask her twice. As I said, mom was 15. Dad was 14 but neither cared. They were inseparable as the years passed. Dad eventually joined the Navy and when home on leave, married mom. To say they were happy is a mild statement. Dad was mom's world and dad idolized mom. Their love was obvious to anyone who saw them look at each other. One day, tragedy struck. A few days before dad's 65th birthday, he had a stroke which paralyzed his left side. With therapy, he gained the use of his legs, but his left arm remained useless. That didn't stop them from enjoying their lives together. With a modified steering wheel, he was once again able to drive and took mom on many vacations which included Montauk NY, Virginia Beach VA, and Baltimore MD. When dad turned 71, he stumbled and fell. It was determined that he experienced a TIA – mini stroke. While dad lay in the hospital, an astute nurse noticed something with dad that wasn't quite right. She prompted the doctor to order a few tests. The diagnosis was stage 4 colon cancer. The doctor told mom that dad had about 8 months to live. We were horrified. Trying to extend dad's life, we agreed to an ileostomy but when it was performed, it proved fruitless. Dad died six weeks after that procedure. Mom was devastated. Not too many years later, I noticed mom began forgetting things. It was subtle but the signs were there. She repeated herself a little too often; she'd forget where she put her purse; she'd call me two or three times a day but never remembered why, etc. Eventually, mom moved in with me. Her dementia was much worse but still tolerable. She could hold small conversations and create full sentences. One day as mom and I reminisced, I asked her to tell me something about dad. She looked horrified as she asked, “I was married?” How could she have forgotten dad? Did she know me? I asked her who I was and answered correctly. That was a relief, so I backtracked to help her remember dad. “Mom, do you remember that handsome young sailor from years ago?” Within seconds, her eyes glowed with love and remembrance. “Oh, yes, my Frankie!” “Mom, he was your husband.” She sat there for a few silent minutes then in a soft voice said, “That's right. I married my Frankie. My sailor. How I cried when he got sick and died.” That was the last full sentence mom said. The dementia took hold in a big way. Mom died not long after. I was reminded of an old Buck Owens song, “Together Again”. Thank you, Buck Owens for writing and performing a song that has become so very dear to me as I think of my parents holding hands and walking forever side by side. For my mom's funeral, I printed a photo of my parents the last time they were together and modified Owens' song to read: Together again her tears have stopped falling; Her long lonely nights are now at an end. The key to her heart he held in his hands And nothing else matters they're together again Together again her gray skies are gone; She's back in his arms now where she belongs. The love that they knew is living again, And nothing else matters they're together again.

Just because your that certain age, and you think that's it, you're to old already, so it doesn't matter anymore what you do, right? Well, wrong! We are at that age of perfection, it doesn't have to mean that we are perfect, because we are not, but I mean, what we do in our lives, and how we want to spend the rest of it can be perfect for us. Life isn't easy, and it's not nice at times, and we all have to work hard for our money, but why do we have to just call in the towel there? We all deserve to do things that we've never done yet, we deserve to go travel to places that we've never seen, eat at fancy restaurants, go to a high class spa, buy that high end car, get that diamond. Whatever it is that we, the mature, over 40 hasn't ever gotten to do because some 40 year olds think it's too late, their 40 and it's not possible anymore, well, heck, we can do whatever we want too. We all need that freedom in mind , we need to let loose, spend some cash, if you have it, jump out of the plane, whatever it is that some of us are holding ourselves back from. I'm sure that a lot of people in their 40's have had their children move out already, are about to, and the taking are of them part isn't your responsibility anymore, their grown-ups now, and we've all taught them how to be proper people in the world, so, now that there is that freedom, ake it up with yourself. I have noticed while shopping, and just out in crowds of people, that nobody seems very happy anymore, like they should. Sure, a lot of people are struggling, and just getting by, but your still important, your still breathing, nothing bad has happened to you. You might not have a lot of money, because our children seem to need it more than we do, but there is still some kind of money laying around. Take that money, and take yourself, and your spouse, or if you don't have the spouse, like myself, take yourself out to a nice dinner. Get all dressed up, and looking good, smelling good, and go out to have an awesome dinner. Have whatever you want to on that menu. Don't worry about calories, and don't worry if that plate of food is almost as much as your rent. It's awesome to be 40, it should be the best part of getting that much more mature. We are like a fine wine, we only become more perfect with age. I was so afraid of getting to that big 4-0, but I got over it when I realized that nothing really changed anyways. I mean that I still have all my teeth, I still have my long hair, I still don't have a lot of money, but, I do have my health. I'm sure that I could find someone to keep me company, when I am lonely, but I don't want that right now in my life. I don't even know if I'll ever want that again. I have had such terrible luck in that area, and I mean being married three times, and still at the end of things, I'm still alone. I just didn't luck out with men and I am not hard on the eyes, I have an awesome personality, great character, loads of fun to be around, just the worst for picking my mates. I don't know why that life has to be so rough on me in that man part of my life, but it sure is. Other than that, I am so thankful that life has treated pretty good when it comes to getting older. I won't brag or anything, but I don't look to shabby at 43 years old. I was thinking when I got older that I would look like the crypt keeper. I do not look even close to that guy, and I am thankful. I haven't gotten to travel the world, I haven't gotten to buy that fancy car, but I have had a spa day that was amazing. I had the best time of my life, alone, being pampered, and drinking wine before noon. I did have a moment when I as getting a massage, and it's embarrassing, but I'm going to share it anyway. When I was all relaxed, and getting rubbed down, with that warm, soothing oils. The lady that was massaging me got a surprise when I relaxed way too much. I didn't feel anything coming on either, but I farted. OMG! How embarrassing that moment was for me, but this lady smiled at me, and without having a funny face she just tells me that it happens when the body is relaxed and it's a natural thing. I still was embarrassed, it didn't matter if other people have done that too. It was me, I don't do that stuff in front of others, and to be in such an environment that is like the ShangrI-La, the place was too amazing for stuff like that, my fart didn't have to butt in on my moment. I got to meet some amazing people on my life journey, and there are people that I wish I would've never met at all in my life, but all of it has been amazing, and I have had the chance to see and experience things that a lot of people haven't gotten to experience in a lifetime. I have gone to places that would make anyone drool. I have done some crazy, scary as hell things, I have lived a few lives, and here I am still walking, talking about it all. Don't be unhappy, and don't give up on getting older. Get better at it, do whatever you want. We deserve it.

The benefit of writing is allowing your mind to speak and unburden your soul to bring yourself to new emotional heights once the emotional burdens of thoughts are lifted. Writing is a wonderful way to unload the mind of useless chatter at three in the morning and play friend to yourself. Writing allows one to communicate their thoughts and exercise themselves Spiritually thus allowing healing to occur and can help bring closure in many situations. Calming the mind helps to refocus your thoughts when times are deeply stressed or simply to convey a spontaneous creative thought for use at another time. Writing out your thoughts can be both relieving and satisfying. This also allows one to reconnect with themselves; opening themselves up to self confidence and self nurturing by allowing their mind to freely express its most secret self as it is most liberating and promotes emotional well-being. Another benefit of writing is that it provides a mentally physical job or hobby for someone incapable of physical exercise or daily movement. Having a way to express oneself is a great way to combat against depression and mood swings and is not limited to any one kind of person. Writing is for everyone. Writing may provide keeping a language alive. Through writing you may build bonds of friendship or earn awards thus promoting your own mental health. Writing soothes the mind and balances your psyche. Another benefit of writing is that another perspective may be sought out or brought to light. This engages conversation. Writing is a mutual alliance with your soul and mind joining both in a place where emotions are equal and transforming; creating spiritual healing in some cases or you're just flourishing out in some kind of story telling. In either case, writing anything; even if it sounds silly, is an excellent deterrent for other health problems like dementia and Alzheimer's. Writing is a great way to exercise the recesses of the mind and in that, you may find emotional well being and better understanding of one's self. Writing sets you free to explore your world and it's surrounding without bias. You can love or hate anything and in that comes the ability to identify with the pros and cons of reality possibly transforming that into your greatest work of art. Writing is soulful and expressive leading one to experience Spiritual Peace. Writing is creative art. Writing is essential to success in life. Lastly, writing is the best tool for communicating with others whether it's in the sand or on paper. Every line is valuable. Every word needed. So remind your mother, brother, sister and friends to write for their life, loves and hates. For in that we all Live.