The Paris skyline shined brighter that night. Maybe it was the 2nd glass of the cheapest rose we could find, maybe it was the perfectly timed sparkle of the Eiffel tower reflecting on the buildings in sight from my balcony. I laid back in my chair, put my feet on the railing, loosely gripping the thin stem of my wine glass and listened to the sounds of the Paris nightlife. My roommate Anis, sat on the floor next to me and leaned her head into the night. The stars were covered by clouds but still, I could feel them shining light upon the dimly lit streets below us. A woman lit a cigarette and it seemed to awaken something within Anis as her own hand seemed to drift to her sweatshirt pocket by its own accord, pulling out a thin, messily rolled cigarette and brought it to her mouth. She put her hand back into her pocket, but it came out empty, so I reached into my own and pulled out a light pink lighter and lit it myself as she breathed in. She offered me one, but I don't smoke so I shook my head and she went back to synchronizing her breaths to that of the woman on the street beneath us. Soon enough this woman was gone and our focus was on a man standing by the bus stop. I looked to my phone for the time, frowned, and hoped the man wasn't hoping for a ride. The buses were long parked and the metro now full of the homeless in chrysalis, trying to escape the harsh reality of night. Anis gave me the look, the one you give when you've had a bit too much wine and you've decided that you're going to be a dumb college student for a moment, when you want to let everything go and ignore the fact that it's 3 am on a Wednesday night, ignore the 9 am calculus class you have in the morning, ignore the four missed facetime calls from your parents that you only ignored because your phone is already on low battery and you did have some wine so you weren't sure if any of your sentences that came out were even coherent anymore and because you decided you would text them in the morning that you were tired and wanted a good night's rest before your calc test the next morning. Anis's eyes lit up as she opened her mouth as wide as she could. “Yoohoo!” she laughed, as we do on nights like this, shouting into the great expanse hoping that someone may answer us back. I followed suit, we let our laughter die, and we waited. We waited for something, for anything to shout back and remind us we are not alone. We waited for the stars to come out form the curtain of clouds and put on for us a show. We waited for random historical figures of the 1920s to come out of the shadows like they did in that Owen Wilson movie. We waited… and waited… and waited… and waited for what could have been months days, minutes, mere seconds until the sound of the balcony door opening took us out of our trance. “Hey could one of you guys give me light, I think I left my lighter at school,” my other roommate Rebecca asked, leaning her forearms on the railings. My eyes losing their fog looked up to her blankly, handed her my lighter, and went back to look at the guy by the bus stop. But, just as quickly as our voices faded into the atmosphere, he was gone.

Have you ever woke up so early in the morning while the sky is still dark, the quiteness remains around you, you are still on the bed, looking at the ceiling and feeling like you are home? Have you ever thought if you had a power to fly or you can just be wherever you can, you would wish to be first immediately home? Or probably in a silent moment, you just sit, taking a deep breath, looking at the sky, and your heart is just taken away becuase of the distance? Have you ever wondering how is everyone doing there on the other side of the world? Have you ever seen others' posting photos with their family on those social media, and you just miss the time when you used to spend together with your family? Or maybe sometime when you go for a walk, you see parents holding their kid's hands walking around, and you just miss the time when you were young? If you have been that, tell me how do you feel? And what can you do? Sometime it is hard to hold the feeling inside, isn't it? so you let your tear down, and you may feel a bit better. That is your homesick feeling, and yeah, HOME, a place you spend with your family back then. Home, where your past great memories were created. Being homesick is another stage of culture shocks that happens when you are in a foreign country. It is called dissolution. You start missing your hometown, foods, friends, family..etc. Generally, i am talking about students' living and studying abroad. If you are homesick, take a deep breath, keep reminding yourself of the reasons that you decided to come to this place. Start thinking of your goals and your future, reminding yourself that there are still a long way to go through, and of course, there are still lots of fights left to tou. You cannot just stop here or there unless it is finished! Thus, you have to be strong! Only you can make it happens. You have to make your parents proud of what you're going to achieve. You have to focus on the present that you are here, you are on the process of making your dream come true, and no matter how hard it is to bear, you have to keep holding on. Although each step is about breaking a mountain or going through fire, Do it! Being alone or independent is the best opportunity for you to strengthen yourself and develope your maturity. After a year, you will miss today, and you will be proud of a progress you have made through these messy life experiences. When looking back, you will see the different between the Old and the New You. It is not neccesary to let the world knows that you are working hard or having a hard time because only you yourself truly understand how it is. The world will not care what or how you are doing; it will just judge you base on your result, and You deserve more than being judged. Here I am telling you, if you are already here, if you already decided to walk on this way, please give it a big try! Make the best out of it! Struggle as hard as you can! Hold it tight no matter how big the wave is! It's worth trying!! It does ! One day your hard work will paid off. Be here with who you are, take this opportunity to find the best version of yourself. Do not spend too much time being dramatic about life because you will just waste your life times. Have a nice day !!