On the way home from school one day, Mom took us to a pet store just for fun. In a box beneath a heat lamp were the cutest little yellow ducklings, quacking away in their little duckling voices. We fell in love with them immediately. “Oh please can we get one?” we begged Mom. “Please please please?” “Okay,” she said, “BUT JUST ONE.” So we brought it home and put it in the bathtub. It was very happy there, swimming around and making its little baby quackles. But then I started to worry, “What will Dad say when he gets home from work?” (Sometimes Dad wasn't always happy with the decisions Mom made.) As it got closer to 5 pm when Dad's bus was going to arrive, I got nervouser and nervouser. No, that isn't really a word! I should write “more and more nervous.” Anyway, you get my point. By the time Dad got home, you can imagine how my stomach was feeling: like it was full of butterflies! Okay, so Dad got home, put down his lunch pail, took off his coat, and said to us, “What is going on -- you all look funny.” As in funny-strange. The four of us kids were happy and scared at the same time, and I guess it showed on our faces. “Ummm...Dad….ummmm...we have something to show you.” “Okay, what is it?” “Go look in the bathtub.” So he did, and he started laughing! “That little guy looks lonely,” he said, “he needs a friend!” We all jumped into the van and went back to Rodney's Pets & Feed and Dad bought us another little duckling! I named one Martha and the other one Petunia, after two of my favorite books at the time (George & Martha, by James Marshall, and Petunia by Roger Duvoisin). We four loved Martha and Petunia, and they loved us. They followed us everywhere around the backyard. In the late afternoons, we crawled around on the ground, hunting for stalks of their favorite grass -- appropriately named “duck grass weed” -- to bring them. They always quacked “happy, thank you” as they ate it. That's the thing about ducks: their emotions and their words are the same. Their word for “happy” is the same as the happy sound they make and so they pretty much tell you how they feel and what's going on with them. One day, Dad brought home a large fiberglass airline shipping container and he used it to build a little rectangular pond in the backyard. Now they had a real place to swim, and we had our bathtub back. Martha and Petunia would slide into the water, wiggle their tails and quack “happy, swimming” that told us that they liked the water. Sometimes we filled up the Radio Flyer with water and gave them rides around the backyard. I honestly don't know if they liked that so much, because I can't remember the sound that they made while we were tugging them slowly around the yard. But being good sports, they tolerated it. Those days back then felt endless, but in reality they were all too brief. It's a good thing to grow up with animals, which I was lucky to do. Martha and Petunia still live in my heart, and to this day in my mind's ear, I can still hear the sounds they made and what they were saying to me. About the photo: my twin sisters with Martha and Petunia and the Radio Flyer, in our backyard circa 1970.

I was horrified by this incident. “No one cares for me,” shouted a 59-year-old woman in front of the Finance Ministry on April 27. In protest, she swallowed a handful of pink pellets from a rodenticide bait pack, collapsed before rushed to a hospital. She was clearly distressed after failing to get a monthly stipend of 5,000 baht or around US$ 161, the Thai government's cash aid given for three months to informal workers hardest hit by the COVID-19 outbreak. To curb the pandemic, the government locked down cities, shut down businesses, and imposed curfew and travel restrictions. Consequently, many, left unemployed, are struggling to put food on the table, with the poor and needy feeling frustration, despair and anger. Then people's little hope was reignited by the “Pantry of Sharing,” installed by “Little Brick,” a group of volunteers. The group first posted a video clip, asking what Thai people thought if the country could have pantries stocked with food for anyone. Many expressed their opinions. “Everything would be gone, the cupboard included.” “All food items would be taken home in a sack!” “The cupboard would be left empty.” “The answer is ‘impossible.' People are selfish with no conscience.” “Try the idea to find out.” “I wish we could have the pantry. I'm a rural man. We share what we have.” “Don't despair if you have no food. Every time you come across this pantry; you know you can take something home for your children. That'll bring happiness.” “We could help our fellow beings. Sharing with others brings you peace of mind.” “Donors are willing to give and recipients can fill their stomach with something from the pantry. So, both will be happy.” The first five Pantries of Sharing were set up by the group to alleviate the plight of those suffering hardship caused by government measures. This humanitarian act was inspired by the Little Free Pantry, started in the United States. The Pantry of Sharing is a beautiful initiative. Those who can afford to give, fill the pantry with nonperishable foods while people facing penury can come by and take everything they need to get through each day of poverty. Some even include notepads for people to write words of appreciation and encouragement to each other. Anyone can set up the Pantry of Sharing in their community. The idea has caught on rapidly. For Thais, sharing with those suffering is a way of making merit. Now there are community pantries in all 77 provinces. Local newspapers reported several stories of less fortunate people benefiting from these community pantries. A middle-aged mother and her 11-year-old son with special needs went several times a day to the Pantry of Sharing in the northern province of Phayao to find food. The mother could not work well because she was beset with diseases. They hardly had enough money to get by and sometimes had to go without food. These pantries are great. Old people, scavengers and the poor can come and get things here without queuing up in long lines to get free food offered by charitable organizations and individuals. One old uncle was widely admired by many social media users. He came to open the cupboard in front of Thonburi-Uthong Hospital and picked up only one carton of milk. He said only one carton of milk made him full and took nothing else to leave and share the rest for others to partake of. He was praised for being considerate and not opportunistic. Poor as he was, he was generous. Uncle Oud was from Ayutthaya Province. Homeless and without relatives, he wandered around in U Thong district, Suphan Buri province, to scavenge discarded materials for a living. Sadly, on May 18, Uncle Oud died peacefully from tuberculosis. In these challenging times, it is necessary for people to show their kindness and sympathy. That is why the pantries, known in Thai as “the cupboard that shares happiness,” are always replenished. However, this unattended food sharing scheme is still very new here. In reality, some selfish people abused the public's goodwill, raided pantries, took away all the items, hoarded the food, and worst, resold the stolen donations. Although people emptying a cupboard should be disapproved of, we may not really know what these people have gone through during lockdown. The motives of many cases are linked to rising poverty and food shortages. The reckless and selfish behavior may show just how the coronavirus pandemic and poor state support have made some people so desperate and insecure. In spite of the abuses being committed by some people, we should not lose hope in this food bank idea. A sense of giving should not be diminished just because our world also has inconsiderate people. Let us overlook those who are greedy. Our noble goal is to prevent destitute people from going hungry! During times of sickness and anxiety like these, it touches my heart and lifts my spirits when people help each other out. COVID-19: We will get through this TOGETHER.

A year ago, the Philippines faced a devastating terrorist attack in the Islamic City of Marawi, Lanao del Sur. This attack came to be known as the “Marawi Siege”. It went on for months ending in November 2017 when President Duterte announced the city's liberation. Days after the siege begun on May 2017, in a volunteers' group chat of our NGO, we were asked if we're available to join a peace mission in an evacuation center located in Lanao del Sur. The slots were filled immediately and although I fiercely wanted to join the said mission I didn't have the opportunity. Nevertheless, I did what I could to support the team. Yet, even now, as Marawi begins to build its city, there is still a piece of me that wishes to have been part of that peace mission, to have been able to bring joy and support to the children of Marawi while the siege is ongoing. Weeks turned into months and Marawi City was liberated from the terrorist group but it left part of the city, near Lanao lake, completely obliterated. Back in Manila on March 2018, I was asked by my friends if I'm available to join a month-long peace mission in Mindanao; I had mixed feeling about it. I felt like this maybe a blessing since I've already wanted to resign from my job, but, this may also be a test, to see if I am brave enough to resign from my job without another work lined up when I get back from Mindanao. Add in the fact that volunteering is my passion and the feeling that I'm wasting away in the office helped me reached my decision. Turns out, I did have the guts to resign without another job lined up and the trip really was a blessing. The peace mission was a blessing due to a number of reasons. First, I was able to live in Mindanao for a month and immersed in their culture and lifestyle. Second, I was able to see the battle ground or what we like to call “Ground Zero” in Marawi City from afar. “Ground Zero” is still prohibited to civilians because the armed forces is presently in the process of clearing out the areas of undetonated bombs and IEDs. Lastly, I was able to act as a support to the children of Marawi, at least for those in the group I facilitated in. The peace mission we conducted in Mindanao was in the conflict areas of Maguindanao and Marawi City. We taught the children and their parents peace education. In Marawi, I was given the chance to act as lead facilitator for one of the 10 groups. Together with me is a member of the “Hijab Troopers”, they are women soldiers who wears white hijab. Our group was composed of 3 boys and 4 girls, all coming from 4 different schools. Despite being strangers, our group was able to form a bond like that of a family. I was their big sister who helped them with their activities such as writing and drawing. But, there was 1 kid who was extremely shy. He would not answer my questions (that were spoken in Filipino) and at first I thought that he could only understand Maranao so I asked the other kids to translate for him, but he still wouldn't participate in our activities. In that case, I told him that it was alright if he doesn't share his thoughts but if he wants to share then his new friends can translate for him. During the 2nd day, as I was observing all my kids, I felt elated on the fact that everyone is bonding, they maybe strangers yesterday but now, they've accepted each other as friends. I also found out that the shy kid can understand and speak Filipino well but he adamantly refuses to share his answers in the group. Accordingly, after an activity where everyone had to share their drawings, I went to him and asked him to share his drawings to me, he started telling me the reason behind his drawings and I felt like I was going to cry at that moment because finally, I was able to get through his walls even if it was just a little. Indeed, those 3-days were the best but they were also the most exhausting. Handling 7 kids is draining emotionally and physically. It made me really appreciate the kindergarten and elementary school teachers all over the world for their limitless patience and energy in handling hundreds of kids in their career life. On our last day in Marawi City, we visited an area near Lanao Lake where “Ground Zero” can be observed. The only word that came to mind when I saw it was destroyed. The battle ground area was completely and utterly destroyed. The whole area was colored gray by ashes. Mosques that were once magnificent now had huge gaping holes in them and houses that were home to thousands of Maranaos were reduced to piles of rocks. As I watch the scene before me, I felt anger and the thirst to find out the answer to my questions, “why? Why do this? What did it accomplish?” And as our group continues to hear the stories of the Marawi Siege, one person shouted “look, there's a rainbow” and as we all turn to gaze at the breathtaking beauty of the rainbow, I said to myself “how ironic.”

Yesterday I decided to bake so many bread as our meal for whole day. Baking is not an easy things to do, because once you miss something, you can´t do anything to fix it or redo the process. During I made the dough, suddenly some insights came to my mind. Of course I had to decide how may table spoons of salt, sugar, how many cups of flour, should I put so that I could make a good and tasty bread. My decision actually was depended on my taste, but I realize it´s me the one who had to make a decision. I have failed so many times in making bread, sometimes the dough was not raise so well, sometimes it tasted plain, the other time my bread was burnt because I made a mistake in setting the heat of my oven, sometimes my bread was as hard as stone, so we couldn´t even barely chew it. Sometimes i chose not to follow the recipe and created something new, but not all of the time I succeed, but i learnt from my failure. All of my mistakes made me learn something important, so I know better now how to make a good n tasty bread. In our life, we have to make a decision every day. It starts as we open our eyes, we should decide whether we want to stay in bed or wake up. Then we have to choose our breakfast, our clothes to wear, and so on. It will be over till we close our eyes again. We face so many choices everyday to choose. Some people are afraid to make a decision, especially for the biggest, influencing, important decision in their life, because they are afraid to make a mistake, or they are afraid of the consequences of their decision. A bad result from our decision is just like a punishment that should be avoid in our life. It´s a natural instinct actually to avoid something harmful or dangerous that may happen in our life. Of course we can avoid to make some important decisions, but unluckily, we can´t avoid it all the time. Some condition may force us to decide. We can´t run away every time we have to decide something. Sometime we have to deal with failure and it´s okay. For me personally, my failure is the greatest teacher in my life. I will learn to be more cautious in choosing something and also deciding. The most important lesson that i get is I learn to think before I decide, I learn to know my capability to deal with the consequences. So, i believe that making mistake is not the end of our life. What the best things of making mistake or having failure in our life is we can learn something important from it. I believe we learn more from something bad because it makes us alert of our mistakes. Our experience will warn us about our mistake and we will try to avoid making the same mistake because we don´t want to experience the same negative consequences of our decision later. Mistakes also teach us how to be wiser if we learn from it and if we choose to be wiser. This learning process will always happen in our life, either we learn something from good things or bad things. We can choose a good choice and make a good decision because we already learn how to choose wisely. From a mistake, we can learn more also about our selves, especially our weaknesses and how to overcome it. Now the problem is, how to know which one is a good choice and which one is not, so that we are able to make a good decision. If we are dealing with a bad choice and a good one, it´s surely easy to make a decision, we all will choose a good one. But what if we are dealing with all of good choices or all of it, it´s a bad one? If I may suggest, before making a decision or choosing, explore all of the possible consequences that we may deal with, then know our selves, I mean our capability of dealing with those consequences, then choose a choice that we are ready or we feel that we can bare with the consequences. The most important is choose something that makes us grow, that develop ourselves to be a better person and don´t choose or decide something when we are angry or not in a good state of mind because we won´t aware what the consequences will be. How do we also know if we already makes a good decision. A good decision won´t always brings happiness or success, but it will bring peace, it will develop ourselves to be a better person, or it will bring goodness for other people. What we need to be able to decide something is a clear mind and also courage, so that we are conscious of our decision and we won´t blame others for the result.