it was our last race of the day. when reaching the top of the mountain, we all grabbed our equipment and veered to the side to get settled into our skis and boards. i started off rather confident, flying ahead of my family and competing with my younger brother Lucas for speed. after a few family check-ins to make sure we had everyone as we went down, I rode ahead and was determined to beat them down the mountain. I got into a nice groove, feeling my hips sway fluidly with the board as though they were one. it was a lovely slope and quite a scenic one at that, with vast mountain ranges and trees from near to far. I was skiing towards the edge of the mountain when suddenly the front of my board got caught on a patch of ice, jolting me forward off the slope, downhill towards a stream and face full of trees. I flew down head first, caught by a thick branch of a tree in the snow that knocked the wind right out of my chest. I was stuck upside down as my board was tangled within branches and the blood was rushing to my head. I tried to move my legs from up above me but the lower half of my body was simply not strong enough, I knew something was wrong with my leg but the fear that struck me worse was being trapped in the trenches of the snow for eternity. I hoisted the upper half of my body up, holding for dear life with my right hand on the branch as I carefully tried to unravel my shoes from the board. the last strap finally came undone and I watched my board plummet from above me, down to the stream of water below. it was easily a 15-foot drop from where I was hanging. I started skidding downhill uncontrollably as the branch beneath me was starting to give out from my weight. With the weight of my board off my legs, I was able to slowly reverse my body upright where each of my limbs was being held by a different branch. I could feel the branches breaking beneath my body, I could hear them crunching. I needed help. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. MOM!! DAD!!, this lasted for easily 10 minutes as I heard skiers above me whooshing past. my yells were being drowned out by the waterfall below me and I realized my voice was simply not powerful enough. panic overwhelmed me and I felt fear beginning to go into overdrive. it was just me. I had to save myself. nobody knew where I was. nobody could hear me. nobody was coming. I had to do something. I started talking to myself, saying I could do this; that I would get through this. I wasn't going to die on that mountain. I was going to be okay. one of the branches underneath my right leg had suddenly snapped, firing the adrenaline into my brain that it went time. I quickly looked around for other branches, any ridge in the snow, or an opportunity to get leverage. I needed to get my body up at least 5 feet more in order to be seen by passing skiers. it was now or never, my right leg started to slip down and I started chanting to myself that I could do this, grabbing onto anything close to me. sticks and rocks fell past me as I tried to not let that be me next. I had at least another foot to go but seemingly no way to lift myself up. as I looked up, my fingertips just touched the tip of the slope and I thought there was no way I could be seen. I took off my glove and tried to get extra height by dangling it above the ridge of the slope, to people passing by all you could see was a glove flopping in the distance above a cliff. I did this for what felt like ages as I felt my lower body tremble underneath me and my left leg throb under the pressure. I called out for help, hoping the little distance I was able to hoist myself up would make a difference in the way my voice traveled. I looked up to the sky and prayed. I had never been particularly religious and actually had pushed myself away many times from such concepts however I thought to myself if someone, something, anything was out there; I need it to please help me. it was a Christmas miracle. within minutes, I heard the voice of an older man call out from above. I remember seeing his bright red jacket as I looked up and felt a rush of hope run through me. he looked around at what he could use to help get me up. he tried lending me his hand which I was too far away from. and then he tried his ski which was not long enough to reach me. survival instincts must have struck this kind stranger fast as he started ripping off big branches to pull me up to safety. with a few inches left, I was close now and he pulled his arms underneath me lifting my body entirely back onto the slope. I fell to the ground in disbelief as he rushed to find the ski patrol.

Last year, I had studied for the Korean SAT until September, in my rented one-room in Seoul. Every day, I woke up at 5 AM, went to the private academy, and studied until 10 PM with only 20 minutes of rest time for the whole day. I even had meals, cramming myself in the small desk space, except for Sundays. I have been almost always exhausted, and my body was under stress usually. On one day in June 2019, the classes at cram school ended at 9:50 PM and I went to my room. It was in a building that consisted of single rooms, so it was very quiet. I took a shower and wrote up what I had studied for the day and watched some internet lectures for the next day. I finished it all at 1 AM and went to the bad. I suddenly woke up in the midst of sleeping, but something was different. I couldn't move my body or even twitch my eyelids. I felt that I was completely overpowered by something I couldn't sense. I realized it was the old hag syndrome because my mind was awake. I had heard some stories about it from my friends, but it was the first time I directly experienced it. Taking advice from one of my friends, I tried to move from my fingertips. But it was useless. I felt as if death had come right up to my eyes and I would die if I were to open it. I was also afraid that I might meet a ghost. But, there was no improvement over time. So, I did my best to open my eyes. Finally, when I opened my eyes, there was nothing peculiar and I could move my body. I checked the time. It was 6:38 AM. I vividly remember this time. I got up and turned on the light. But, it didn't work. I did it over and over again but it didn't work. I gradually realized that something was strange. So, I walked to the door and opened it. The corridor of the hostel seemed odd. The hall looked like a corridor of 90's hotel with wooden walls and green lamps. I felt as if I were in a Harry Potter movie. I don't know why, but I took that situation rather calmly. I headed out to the left corridor. Suddenly, I heard a sound, not knowing where it came from, calling me. I followed it as if I were possessed. However, just seconds after, I instinctively felt that I had to avoid it. I turned back and ran as fast as possible in the opposite direction of where I felt the sound was coming from. Finding the door of my room, I opened it. I locked the door and pushed the light button frantically. It didn't work, again, and I realized I was locked in my dreams. I was determined to fall to sleep no matter what. I laid on my bed and shut my eyes closed. I eventually fell asleep. After some time, I woke up. The sky was the color of the little dark blue of just before sunrise. Immediately, I pushed the light button, and it worked well. With a sigh of relief, I checked the time. It was 6:38 AM. But something more unbelievable happened. I finished taking a shower so quickly and went out to go to the academy, as usual. While walking on the way, I checked my cell phone. There were a lot of missed calls at 5 AM and 6 AM from my mother. I called back to my mother and asked why she called me. My mother said, “Are you okay? In my dream, Junhyeok (my younger brother) told me to check on you quickly crying, saying you were in a big danger. He also told me to tell you to not follow a stranger. I don't know who Junhyeok is talking about, but I guessed something must have happened”. I had goosebumps running through my torso. Originally, I did not believe in superstitions at all and even denied it. But, through this event, I realized that there are things that cannot be explained by science in the world and I need to be more humble. I was ashamed of myself for trying to justify the event as something caused by stress before calling my mother. I have to have more open eyes to see the world widely. There would be a lot of things that could not be explained in this world. The fact itself terrifies me, but I decided to accept things the way they are and not make quick judgments about things I don't know about.

“Habibie is doing something abnormal,” that was what the Indonesian media said, when a young man appeared as the crack man who comes from Indonesia. The headline news about Habibie in the early of 1990's remains me of myself. I remember, TV stations reported that a genius from Indonesia, who studied in Germany, just landed in his homeland. From the day he arrived on, he was asked to be the creator of a plane. Every time I put in an application of overseas scholarship, I always remember how Habibie fought against impossibility to reach his dream, e.g. designing a plane for Indonesia. His spirit never disappeared although Indonesians mocking him excessively. That story reflects my story in order to be successful young woman. Even until now, people around me ask, “Are you really pursuing Dr. Phil. degree in the UK?” It is annoying sometimes because they question it again and again. About five years ago, I registered as the participant of scholarship at Leicester to attend master degree. My comrades interrogated me, “Leicester? How can a student like you be a master student there?” Then, they laughed at me in front of the others. Honestly, I couldn't finish the application procedures because of IELTS score. I was cursing God back then. A year later, I took IELTS test in Jakarta which is more than 120 km away from my homeland. It was my first trip to Jakarta and searching for the direction to reach IDP Education. During the travel I was faced with different experiences, e.g. the bus drivers left me behind. Then, I should run up like a crazy girl. “Run!” the bus conductor yelled at me. I increased the speed that made me sweat a lot as if I was exercising because Jakarta was doubtlessly very hot in time. After asking anyone who knows Jakarta very well, I could find the IDP building and was on time. The failure of scholarship in Leicester is not the only one failure in my entire life as scholarship hunter. Totally, there are about 20 scholarships more in at least six different countries. As I failed so many time, people call me “The Dreamer”. It seemed that I gained more energy to get other scholarships. Finally, I was chosen as guest student at University of Freiburg to conduct a thesis research in Freiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg. This means, that I studied master program both in Indonesia and Germany. After struggling a lot within 1.5 years, I got Master of Art degree on December 2016. Once more, I was underestimated again after graduation day. People were laughing at me (again) for having an idea to write a dictionary about Sundanese in Majalengka because I am the native speaker of it. “The history tells us, that no Indonesians can write a high-quality dictionary,” someone told me. When I begged for help, nobody nodded. Then, I was driving alone around the district of Majalengka to collect the data because most of them stayed away from me. This 3-year-investigation results in a Sundanese dictionary spoken commonly in Majalengka and will be published this year. Ironically, when I submitted the manuscript to an India-based international journal on December 2018, the Indonesian comrades said, “It won't be considered to be published.” However, God thinks of another way. That manuscript was officially published on January 2019. It leads me to get an award as Best Academician in Linguistics from RULA Awards India, Idamas Learning Centre Malaysia, World Research Council USA, and United Medical Council UK. As the only one Indonesian who got chosen (although a bad experience happened because they put Dr. in front of my name which is totally wrong because I am still struggling to get Dr. Phil. degree), it is absolutely an honor to stand there at the stage and deliver the speech in front of more than 100 invited guests. It is undoubtedly good beginning as the new linguist and lecturer of Linguistics. Moreover, it proves that my hijab is not the big obstacle to get the highest achievement abroad because as the foreigner, I always feel that I am acceptable everywhere. No matter which country I visit, I am warmly welcomed most of the times. Almost at every single attempt people are mocking the effort I make to get overseas job. More than 30 universities in Germany responded my job application negatively. I waited for years to print invitation letter out to work in Germany. I am believing in something, “Where ever you are, God is always with you. By your side to protect you.” Recently, I am working in Germany and pursuing Dr. Phil. degree in England. So, I'd like to say to the dreamers, “Keep fighting! Don't ever be afraid for being a minority because the world is really friendly as long as you behave well! Your life belongs to you, not to others. And the world is so small that you can travel around every time.” Maybe Krakatoa is so big, whereas I am bigger. It is because I can move to everywhere at every time with everyone, compared to Krakatoa which still remains solidly in its place for the whole time.

For a long time, I've considered eschewing attending a university in my country in favor of studying aboard because I believe pursuing education overseas is a life-changing opportunity that brings students beneficial experiences to widen their horizon and experience a brand-new country with new lifestyle, culture, language and nature. Therefore, I always ask myself: ‘What country is suitable for me to study aboard?' After thinking twice about it, from my heart, I know Japan is the most appropriate country for me to get higher education because of these things: First of all, international students in Japan have chances to receive the benefits of some of the highest educational standards in the world with over 700 universities and many of them are ranked in the top of Asia, even the world such as: The University of Tokyo, Kyoto, Keio, and Nagoya. These universities are some of the best places for me to study, enlarge knowledge and develop my skills, which is the prologue for getting a good job in the future. Furthermore, a wide range of scholarships are available to international students. As far as I'm concerned, all the Japanese government, universities, public and private organizations provide students with a plenty of generous scholarships. Not only is the life quality of students in Japan very good, but tuition fees are also comparatively cheap. Compared to other popular destinations like the USA, Australia, or the UK, Japan is the cheapest place to study abroad. Interestingly, there are a huge number of meaningful outdoor activities at Japanese universities, which lets students be exposed to foreign cultures and gives them chances to release stress after hard lessons. Besides, international students are allowed to work part-time in order to make extra income, which is very suitable for my living conditions due to the fact that I can help my parents reduce the money used for my study in the future. What a wonderful thing! Secondly, in the future, I want to enroll in the faculty of Informatics at a famous university because I've dreamed of being a successful software developer for years. I believe that my dream will come true after I finish my Informatics degree at a Japanese university. It can't be denied that Japan is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world and Informatics degrees in Japanese universities are very helpful, informative, valuable and always up-to-date. Students are taught to write code, programs, build and design software effectively and professionally, provided with a huge source of information about computer and many opportunities to put the knowledge gained into practice. After graduation, with those experiences, I'll be able to get a good job in my country, Vietnam. I hope my future software can make a significant contribution to the development of education and society in Vietnam and narrow the gap between my country and the world. Next, I've fallen in love with Japanese culture since I was quite small. People around the world have a deep respect for Japanese because of their politeness, honesty, punctuality, kindness, intelligence, diligence, and patience. When studying in Japan, I'll have chances to learn these great qualities and experience a both well-preserved and modern culture. I'm also extremely impressed by peaceful shrines, torii gates and wonderful colorful traditional ceremonies such as Judo, Karate, Kado, and Chado. Additionally, Japan is the land of amazing anime feature films and television animations. There are lots of films that have been an essential part of my childhood and my daily life such as ‘My neighbor Totoro', ‘Your name', 'One Piece' and ‘Doraemon'. Japanese literature also is very special: often dark but emotional and full of humor. This is the reason why a lot of people enjoying literature have a mysterious love for Japanese novels. So do I. I'm deeply interested in reading wonderful novels of Murakami Haruki and Higashino Keigo such as ‘Norwegian Wood', ‘Naoko' and ‘1Q84'. Through them, I can imagine the life of Japanese – a subtle and enthusiastic life. Finally, I'm looking forward to trying Japanese foods and enjoying Japanese nature. The foods are so unique, refresh, and delicious that a big amount of people are attracted. People having ever tasted Ramen, Sushi, Tempura, Sake, or other Japanese foods never forget the favor of these. Japan's nature is full of incredible beauty and fantastic wonders beyond the imagination. The sense is very lively, exciting picturesque and magnificent. I've a wish to see velvety cherry blossom, lovely snow monkeys and famous fascinating huge volcanoes for myself. How amazing they are! People usually say and write about 'American dream'. But in my heart, besides 'American dream', 'Japanese dream' hold a special place. I've to say: Japan is such a great, wonderful and astounding country that I'll do my best to win a scholarship to study there and enjoy the miraculous things of it.

Life is a choice, whether you intend to be beneficial or not. Having the potential to make the world a better place doesn't make you a better person, but your choice does. Many people want a beautiful world but less do the actions to create one. To serve in making the world a better place is my choice. I've found the authentic value of life and happiness in helping others and I believe, the humanity will never embrace the ultimate harmony if we keep on glorifying words over actions. One should start and empower others. One should take a small step then move forward to the big one. This is the story of my experience in moving to 'the big step' of my life! It all began when I was in freshman year of college. I joined my first charity activity in freshman year and at that point, I realized that actually I can do little things that might create some changes. Growing up in the center of metropolitan city, Tangerang, made me witness a huge distortion and undesirable truth of people's low education and life quality in my hometown, Pontianak, once I moved back there. Henceforth, I dedicate myself to some volunteering activities, concerning in education, which consequently create my awareness of the problems and potential in the community. Language is bound with culture. Indonesia, as a country full of diversities, has approximately 724 languages and most of the people, especially in rural area, growing up speaking their local language before learning Indonesian Language . Hence, to people in rural area, having skill to be able to communicate in English is quite difficult to achieve while on the other hand English is really useful to broaden the horizon. I was thoroughly disappointed knowing there is no club for students in my university to develop English with their peers. Their willingness to learn English is slowly vanished. The problem prevailing in my university acted as a stumbling block for youths to grow and create progress which subsequently led me to create a difference.I've dedicated myself to teach English voluntarily and it's a great pleasure for me but I know this small step I took is narrow and never sufficient. Therefore, I and my friends from Joint Untan Organization developed an idea to create Tanjungpura University Model United Nations (MUN) Club so the students can improve their English and sharpen their critical thinking towards international issues at once. We managed to create this club from zero. We acted dauntlessly by joining the biggest MUN Conference in Indonesia, iMUN, which made us sacrifice a lot of effort since our university didn't give much financial support. We did fund risingall by ourselves and I even took a part time job. The reasons why I wanted to join iMUN conference, because I realize I'd gain a lot of knowledge and exeperience gained from the best national MUN Conference, know precisely how MUN works and build relations with other participants so they can share their experience and support the new Untan MUN Club. Our goals were successfully achieved! A month after iMUN we opened Untan MUN Club enrollment, our friends from iMUN Conference help to promote Untan MUN Club through instagram so we get recognized by other MUN Clubs. I was chosen as the (Secretary-General) and we've managed the weekly meeting and daily discussion in our Untan MUN Club online group. I've accomplished the little step to make betterment. From my experience in developing MUN Club, I've learnt that I'm a person who can develop new ideas, do tremendous effort for myself and others, able to bring back the experience and apply it to my community immediately. Serving needs a graceful heart and soul. We can serve people even through simple things like smiling however, we'll serve better if we do it with heart and high self-quality because our actions will subsequently affect others' future. Teaching English and Buliding the MUN Club in my University were some smalls step that I took to help making this world better, at least in the community around me. I never thought those things would help making the biggest change in my life that I've exeprienced so far.Those small steps led me to become a grantee of one of the most prestigious fully funded exchange scholarship, UGRAD Exchange Program, that enabled me to spend one semester in the US. It was one of the things in my bucket list that I thought I'd never achieve. It was a big step that I took which not only changed my life but also people around me. For my experience wouldn't be mine solely. Zoroaster was right "Doing good to others is not a duty, is a joy, for it increases our own health and happiness."

You hear the phrase every day. When a father throws a baseball with his son, and his son doesn't throw the ball hard enough. “You throw like a girl!” When a boy is running track and can hardly keep up with his teammates? “You run like a girl!” From these examples, we gather that this phrase is generally used as an insult. Women drivers are considered to be worse than male drivers. Women are confusing, and emotional, and cry – they aren't as rational as men. Right? These are common ideas in today's society, something we don't even think twice about before saying. Why does a woman's ability to address her feelings and emotions make her lose her credibility and reasoning? Is there something ingrained in the female sex that makes being associated with them insulting? The last time I checked, a woman's insurance costs less than a man's. When was the last time you heard of a woman murdering a man because he refused to go on a date with her? The media often reports on stories of men murdering women after the men are denied something by the woman; and yet, women are stereotyped as emotional and irrational. Hearing these reports and stories -daily- you would think demeaning phrases including “like a girl” wouldn't be commonly used. But when was the last time you heard someone insult another person by calling them a boy? Personally I have never heard the phrase, “You're such a boy!” as an insult. When somebody is aiming to insult someone verbally, they always associate their insult with a woman. Why is this? The insult itself doesn't actually make sense, because there are many women that are physically stronger than men. In a sport that is dominated by strong, physically built men, Ronda Rousey has emerged as one of the biggest stars in MMA. When there are many famous women out there, like Ronda Rousey, who can dominate in a physical fight, why do people still continue to use the phrase “like a girl” as an insult? With women like Ronda Rousey, who needs Mike Tyson? She could easily put him and any professional football player in the hospital. With powerful women like Ronda Rousey, and honored soldiers like Leigh Ann Hester – who received a silver star for her heroic actions in Iraq–it doesn't make sense for women to still be the subject of degrading insults and jokes. Many women join the military every year; they receive the same training, go through the same tests, and fight the same people as men. I'm sure the men that fight in the army and alongside those women wouldn't use “You fight like a girl” as an insult with their comrades. Another phrase, one that has since been banned in many schools, that used to be used as an insult is “You're retarded”. Many people used the adjective in order to insult or shame another person. When it was brought to light that the insult is demeaning and offensive towards people that are actually mentally retarded, the phrase was no longer acceptable as an insult, and teachers in schools began to discipline children for using it. That insult was offensive towards a group of people, and it was disbanded, as it should have been. The insult “like a girl” is offensive towards a group of people, and yet it is still widely used. Unfortunately it is impossible to change everyone's opinions on the phrase “like a girl”. A single person can't force millions of people, and several generations, to stop using the phrase. However, maybe I can be one person that begins to shine a light on the subject.