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Life indeed is full of surprises, taking unexpected turns, well who in the start of 2020 had the slightest idea of the current situation we are facing. Staying at home, avoiding stepping out as much as possible, not completely dressed without a mask, social distancing is lately the new normal.To be honest, quarantine has somewhat been quite a ride, with a lot of time in hand, we don't always know how to spend it. For starters, binge watching different series available, something which most of us out there are doing, to while away time. In the process I have come to realize quite a few things, like how you can always rely on your true friends, not being afraid to take risks, how family is the most important thing in life, human instincts regardless of their background and looking at things with different perspectives. While we stay home most of the time, we miss a lot of stuff, like enjoying outside delicacies, exploring different restaurants and cafes. Quarantine without a doubt is bringing out the chef in everyone. Social media stories definitely prove how people are experimenting cooking at home. I have baked a lot in this period, at least more than what I usually used to, it's something I thoroughly enjoy. If we pay attention it does teach us an important thing in life, the importance of each ingredient and the right balance of each ingredient to bring out a spectacular dish. It is the same with life too, each moment, happy, sad, exciting, dull, every moment is important for us to understand different things. The satisfaction of baking and eating cakes, rather food is a joy in itself. With this joy comes calories, and with it comes the realization of the need to exercise, which I do on a regular basis, like weight lifting, push ups and walking. Another thing that we all miss is, hanging out with friends, playing pranks, partying, and most of all spending time with them in person. Thanks to social media that we stay connected. A lot of my friend's birthdays happen to be in this period as well, and i tried my best to fill in the void of not meeting on the occasions by making a video message with the group and a video call that lasted very long filled with laughter and fun. Celebrating birthdays and special occasions has indeed found a new way. Friends make life much more interesting, they are definitely a very important ingredient in the recipe of life. A life without these clowns is hard to imagine let alone live, it would perhaps be awfully boring. What also keeps me going is my love for dogs. Just simply the way they are makes me love them unconditionally. Once me and my friends found a bunch of puppies in our society and we couldn't help but play with them. The next day, we got cardboard and made them little shelters, fed them bread crumbs. We took care of them as much as possible for a few days and one day they just disappeared. We only hope that they are in the best of their health. I do spend a lot of time with my neighbor's dog, surprisingly enough she is more friendly with me than anyone else. Willingly shakes hands and gives high fives. It's a bliss to spend time with her. Amidst all these, you really need to have some brain exercises, well it is needed. And an exciting way is to solve some aptitude questions and brain teasers. I have solved a bunch of them and am sure my skills are better than what I had when I was at the first question. They do help us in order to face problems, interviews, exams and importantly build on to our confidence. Being a part of Dexterity school has also helped improve a lot during this period. A leadership development program that has not only helped me build my leadership skills but improve on a lot of other factors. The monthly assignments have made me work on my concentration, listening, writing, critical thinking and analytic thinking. We also have monthly meetings with the CEO himself and are reviewed on our assignments. The meetings have proved to be very helpful, we are guided and taught what to pay attention to and how to improve the quality of the work. Mainly I have focused and learned a lot on my presentation skills, which I realize to be an essential factor. It has also opened a lot of platforms and competitions that I otherwise would have not participated in. The plus point of the whole situation is, we get to spend a lot of time with our families. In the world of technology where when we used to be home after a long day, we would rather sit back with our gadgets and spend time on the internet claiming that's the only time we got to be connected with the world, we did neglect the family time. This lock down made us actually spend time with each other, be it playing games together or just sitting in a room and talking. Makes me realize what we miss out otherwise, creating memories of a lifetime. This is how my quarantine is going, with learning and relaxing both being a part, so far so good.
I am all about productivity. I stress when I don't do enough 'beneficial' things throughout my day. It is especially an issue on my days off from work. I put so much pressure on this day to be good because it is my day off, then I stress that I'm not doing enough work. I frustrate myself, my boyfriend or anyone else with me. But sometimes I need to realize...it is okay if all I did today, was breath.
The moment the diagnosis was delivered, my tears rolled down uncontrollably. The multiple hospital visits, a surgery, the myriad of tests done for my unexplained intense joint and body pain added up to the stress and emotional wreck. As I was hoping for it to be a short term pain which will be relieved with some shots and I am good to go the next moment, the doctor confirmed that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. As a doctor myself, I know how debilitating it can be and the thought of controlling it with multiple toxic drugs for a lifetime just made me even more devastated. As a thrill and adventure lover, I saw my dreams being shattered and started overthinking of everything ahead of me. I was only 26 years old, and I had the dream of a typical girl if not more. I wanted to excel in my career as a specialist, go travel high and low and get married with beautiful husband and kids. Probably it is my immaturity, probably it is the medical knowledge that was ingrained in me, I saw all of this as impossible to achieve as my disease was rather aggressive and needed high dosages of medicine to control. Every joint in my body ached, and the 2 most important joints which I really value now, my knees, are the ones affected most whereby I needed help to walk and do my daily chores. Being stubborn and enthusiastically misplaced, despite the RA flare and having 3 swollen joints in constant pain, I decided that I will persist and finish my housemanship and indeed I did. However, the consequences were grave whereby my disease did not get into control and my knee joints got worse, I started hearing cracks in my knees and that was the moment I knew I had to do something. I was told that I will need a knee replacement but due to my relatively young age, the Drs were hesitant and gave me the impression that I should somehow live with it and hope the pain will go off with meds and exercise. However, exercises only made it worse, the more I exercised, the more swollen it got. I was trying so much to control everything that eventually I surrendered. All this while, despite praying, I realised I never once did surrendered to God and was trying to be in control of everything, the medicines I had to take, the surgery I had to do, the exercises, I questioned everything and only agreed to go on it if I am convinced after thorough reading. The moment I got tired and fully surrendered to Him, miraculous paths begin to open. I became less fearful and was more at ease and decided to go with the flow even if it means putting my job on the line. As a person who rarely takes off or medical leave, I have learnt to let go and took a long leave, went off on a voyage of alternative treatment and came across Ayurveda. That's when I came to learn about healing internally. It is rather a beautiful healing process. Our body is inherently designed to heal itself if only we listened to it. It has a right over us and it has its own limitation and we are responsible to not overuse it. The little pain here and there are not something to put off, but are little screams from your body telling you to take a break. When it does, I urge you, please listen. For instance, a simple headache may seem like something trivial to put off because of other seemingly important tasks and thus gets ignored. But, if only we heed to its signal and lay down for a 10mins power nap, the headache will vanish and our body would be thankful and last for another few hours. Following this simple rule of listening to the body, it will not then be a miracle that we live a long healthy life. I am currently in the midst of healing, however, it has not been an easy task with people around you who do not understand and you yourself doubting the process. I am guilty of abusing my knees due to circumstances and people surrounding me at that point in time, but I have learned to slow down and pay heed to my ever so loyal companion, my body. I have learned to say no more often and put my health as my utmost priority now. Ever since my diagnosis, it has been a roller coaster ride. I have been on and off the wheelchair and been in and out of hospital countless times. But I know that should not be stopping me. I had to put everything I have learned at the back of my mind and started surrendering to the process and of course to God, and am convinced that this can be healed with tapering down my medications and eventually be off it. I am eagerly waiting for my dreams to be fulfilled with having my health back on track. To the readers out there, no matter which stage of life you are right now, healthy or not, always remember, there is always a solution for every problem and there is healing for every disease except death. Do not give up and learn to let go. May God Bless us with His wondrous bounties and may we all be blessed with the wisdom of listening and paying attention to our wonderful companion, the body, the temple we all live in.