A lot has changed since I wrote the post entitled "No Time to Write". Things fell apart with my old job, which was pretty stressful as you could imagine. But you know what they say? Sometimes things happen for a reason, so perhaps this was one of those times, or maybe I'm just a hopeless optimistic. Anyway, I started a new job just two weeks later. That meant I had two weeks of freedom. Open-ended freedom for me to basically do whatever the heck I wanted, despite the whole stress of searching for a new job and going through the whole interview process. As I had ironically complained about not having enough time, a plentitude of time was gracefully, well not so gracefully, given to me not long afterwards. At this point, I'm sure you're wondering what I did with my free time. Instead of writing, I used my time for making social plans and resting. As a matter of fact, as much as I hate to admit it, I ended up taking my free time a bit for granted. One day felt just like the next one, and there was no push each day to get up and get to work on any creative projects. It felt like I had all the time in the world. Since it was still summer, I took some long hikes in the sun, which absolutely rejuvenated my entire being. I also watched a lot of TV. I've been working full time again for almost 2 months now. After getting back into the rhythm of working, I miss freedom and regret that I didn't use the short time in between jobs to lean into my creative side that often gets neglected. I regret that I didn't wake up each morning, pour myself some coffee and immediately start grinding out creative project after project. Yet, maybe rest is exactly what I needed. A break from the urgency that time has placed on me. I wasn't thinking much about time and schedules, and it felt good. You could argue that there's always time if you make it. Maybe it's just self-discipline that's missing. For instance, some people say they have no time to read, yet these are the same people who spend at least two hours scrolling through social media every night before bed. I could always be more intentional with my time. However, it's okay to rest, and I think everyone needs this reminder. I think resting means not thinking about making time for things and just enjoying the present moment, whether that means taking a long walk or binge watching a TV series. If you needed the reminder that it's okay to rest sometimes, to not feel guilty about "wasting time", then here it is: it's okay. If you're going through a stressful time like I was, be gentle with yourself.

"Dad, skip this song please!" Despite my desperate pleading, he didn't reach out for the forward button on the car's stereo. I turned to my left and signaled my sister to change the song for me, but she merely shrugged at my pouting face. I refrained myself from asking my mom, as she was finally dozing away from this exhausting 9-hour drive back to the city. For a moment there, I knew that this trip back was fated to be longer than the high-spirited visit of two days ago. Honestly, there was nothing wrong with the song, only that it was an overplayed Christmas song currently playing on a dull mid-June evening. Just a bridge away from our apartment but the usual 8 pm downtown traffic kept us on that road longer than we would've liked. This, unfortunately, meant that the song was the only thing I could cling onto until the car's movement could distract me from this seemingly eternity-lasting boredom. For some reason, I caved in and listened. "Long time ago in Bethlehem, so the Holy Bible said." I felt a shock from that one line. The shock wasn't the type that shakes your body, just a mental shock. But I never experienced these before. "'Bethlehem'..." my mind whispered, "it's one of the two holiest cities in Palestine. The Commission was granted international control of the city from the Partition of 1948..." I then found myself lost in thought. I began to reflect on my journey of discovery on the mysterious and sandy region; I reminisced on the painfully tedious process of researching an unknown political issue; I finally self-commended myself for the personal perseverance I had towards the notably complicated topic; I became appreciative towards the exciting but overlooked historical dynamics in the Middle East that I've become so entrenched about over the months. Most importantly, I wondered how was my mind was still wandering around historical politics and reacted so powerfully by a single stimulant. Nevertheless, I realized I felt an unprecedented connection to that song. I became more appreciative towards a simple piece that I'd overlooked for years. It was only through my self-driven Middle East exploration that instilled meaning in the lyrics. That little moment on the car, a surprisingly swift period for the song's 3-minute duration, enabled me to truly reflect on the transformative experience I had when I vowed to be determined towards studying the Middle East political events. The comforting and safe environment that I was so fortunate to be enclosed in that night made me realize the value of truly taking the time and devoting effort into learning history of a movement, a community, a race, a region so foreign to myself to ultimately allow myself to become more open-minded in this increasingly connected world. For the first time, I'd internalized and understood the song's resonance on a personal level. And with that came a sense of satisfaction - I'd never felt so fulfilled and accomplished in my entire life. I was genuinely so elated that I had to press the replay button.