I combed my hair with my hand as it tried to cover my whole face then I realized that my hair has grown way too long. I have been stuck in the same place for more than three months while I can't complain since it's for the better. No one is allowed to go outside until everything comes fine. I've been lonely but not depressed. Am I the only one having this feeling right now? You know the answer and it's okay. Time has been so useless for me these days, and all I can distinguish is the difference between day and night. My fingers continued to linger through the keyboard as I feel the intense heat in our country. It is supposed to be our wet season, but summer is extending its period. Maybe the weather is helping us fight against our pandemic? The virus can't survive in hot temperatures, right? Maybe yes, maybe no because the number of cases in our country is still increasing. At the wall, the window appears lonely as it feels ignored. The school is quite near to our house and I was supposed to hear jeers of students going home. The busy street, the honks, and the beeps made by the tricycles make everything appear eerie. Those messy and loud sounds make me much more spirited in doing stuff. Who would have thought that someone will miss such noise? Moreover, I had finished my school requirements and already got the grades for the last semester. I can say that my grade and the situation right now have a thing in common- terrible. I am curious how they came up with those grades but I will just accept those since I was able to pass. For now, I doubt that the process of schooling will be decent. I sleep in the afternoons and stay at late evenings or even early mornings just to finish all these school works and other unnecessary things required. Internet connection has always been annoying in our country. Now, we have three things that share one characteristic. Whatever happens, I hope and do possible things to continue learning and make the best out of these things. Moreover, I have been doing a lot of things these days. I've been trying to cook. I boil eggs, noodles and fry hotdogs too. I have been trying to paint and still hoping for an improvement day by day. I read a book every early morning as I feel soothed when the cold air perches on my epidermis. The not so bright saturation of light made it more comfortable for my eyes to search every word. The aroma of the coffee will even make it better as I start my new undated time of my life. The next hours of my life come boring. I watch a lot of videos since I think it's a thing that I can indulge myself with something. I grab a chair and fix myself at an angle. I adjust my body every few minutes until I get comfortable with my sitting. I grab a snack whenever I feel hungry. Later, I can feel myself regretting because everything I ate is a junk. I watch documentaries and self- help videos too. Adulting is quite hard, but I hope that we will successfully handle it. At times, I tend to walk a few steps and think about everything. I wonder and comprehend about possible answers then I become curious about everything that comes on my mind. I quickly grab my phone to check my notifications. I scroll over my social media news feed as I try to read every headline of the post. Every news seems to be depressing and bewildering at the same time. The largest media company in our country has been shut down by decision with hints of politicization and doubt. The decision came out, but all we can do is to follow. Some people lost jobs, hope, and lives, wishing to give nothing but only the best for their families. The continuous cycle of life came to a pause. All became busy looking for other opportunities out there. How will you feel being in this pandemic situation and losing your professional job at the same time? I know, these intense emotions right now are great signs for a gem hidden for us to search in our lives. I feel bad sitting here while the other people thrive to survive. I feel thankful and guilty at the same time. May we do our best to help and pray for all people. These too shall pass. These things will help us. I know it is hard, but let us look at the brightest side of everything. Everything is so hard to explain right now, while other things come unexpectedly. This situation has brought us to a new level of perspective towards life, but we must be able to learn from it. Some people mourn while others try to celebrate at the same time. Some people cry while others try to catch their breath to survive. Some people laugh to make ease of the pain engraved in their hearts, and some people are still clueless about the next step to apply. I peeked out of the window, and I saw the clouds- a flying object without wings staying calm above the ground.

"Dad, skip this song please!" Despite my desperate pleading, he didn't reach out for the forward button on the car's stereo. I turned to my left and signaled my sister to change the song for me, but she merely shrugged at my pouting face. I refrained myself from asking my mom, as she was finally dozing away from this exhausting 9-hour drive back to the city. For a moment there, I knew that this trip back was fated to be longer than the high-spirited visit of two days ago. Honestly, there was nothing wrong with the song, only that it was an overplayed Christmas song currently playing on a dull mid-June evening. Just a bridge away from our apartment but the usual 8 pm downtown traffic kept us on that road longer than we would've liked. This, unfortunately, meant that the song was the only thing I could cling onto until the car's movement could distract me from this seemingly eternity-lasting boredom. For some reason, I caved in and listened. "Long time ago in Bethlehem, so the Holy Bible said." I felt a shock from that one line. The shock wasn't the type that shakes your body, just a mental shock. But I never experienced these before. "'Bethlehem'..." my mind whispered, "it's one of the two holiest cities in Palestine. The Commission was granted international control of the city from the Partition of 1948..." I then found myself lost in thought. I began to reflect on my journey of discovery on the mysterious and sandy region; I reminisced on the painfully tedious process of researching an unknown political issue; I finally self-commended myself for the personal perseverance I had towards the notably complicated topic; I became appreciative towards the exciting but overlooked historical dynamics in the Middle East that I've become so entrenched about over the months. Most importantly, I wondered how was my mind was still wandering around historical politics and reacted so powerfully by a single stimulant. Nevertheless, I realized I felt an unprecedented connection to that song. I became more appreciative towards a simple piece that I'd overlooked for years. It was only through my self-driven Middle East exploration that instilled meaning in the lyrics. That little moment on the car, a surprisingly swift period for the song's 3-minute duration, enabled me to truly reflect on the transformative experience I had when I vowed to be determined towards studying the Middle East political events. The comforting and safe environment that I was so fortunate to be enclosed in that night made me realize the value of truly taking the time and devoting effort into learning history of a movement, a community, a race, a region so foreign to myself to ultimately allow myself to become more open-minded in this increasingly connected world. For the first time, I'd internalized and understood the song's resonance on a personal level. And with that came a sense of satisfaction - I'd never felt so fulfilled and accomplished in my entire life. I was genuinely so elated that I had to press the replay button.