Borders are a part of our everyday lives, we cross them going from one side of town to the other, from one city to the next, and when traveling state to state there is usually a sign along the highway happily welcoming us into the next territory. There are borders separating neighbors properties, fences to keep that dog that is always getting out of his yard out of someone's trash cans, even if they live in an isolated area with some farm animals borders are there. They are there to keep the chickens in the coop, keep the pigs in the pen, and to keep the sheep from wandering off. As hard as it may be to believe there are some people who live in one place their whole lives and never venture outside of the city of their birth, maybe some never leave the house but even they encounter borders in their daily lives. In a lot of low-income areas, there are people, as previously mentioned, who never go far from home. A high school friend never saw a mall until she was in her twenties, she never saw the ocean until she was in her thirties. The boundaries that kept her and her sisters living in one town for most of their lives were unimaginable to me. Even as a teenager, my sister and I would jump on a train and head to Newark N.J. to go shopping, or hop on the bus and go to the mall. We would go down to the shore, that's going to the beach if you're from New Jersey, with my grandparents at least twice a month in the summer as children. The world outside of my hometown was never out of reach for me, but there are people who were much younger than myself, who never crossed the local borders. There are things that keep people stuck in one place, poverty being one of them. With this being a factor for many, the part of the world that they see is very small, except on television. Introduce gang violence into the equation and their borders become even smaller. When I was in sixth grade, they were still busing students to different areas for elementary and middle school. Your friends would be people from every part of town and as children, people got along as well as children do. In 1979, a movie called The Warriors came out, around that time is when I remember seeing the older guys where I lived start to form “gangs.” They were quite mild by today's definition of what makes a gang, but it's after that point that the invisible borders began to appear in the area. You knew what part of town they were from by the name they chose, the guys where I lived were called Queen City Rollers, named after a bar that was on a corner adjacent to the apartments we lived in. There was a movie theatre that every kid and teen in the area went to but after the teens started to identify as gangs, it was a gamble to go. One incident that I remember clearly was an all-out brawl that started the process of the owner closing the place down. The movie theater was located in an area that was considered to belong to one group, so any other group who made their way there risked getting into an altercation. Eventually, these guys could not go far from where it is that they lived, this was the reason some of the older guys dropped out of school, there was one high school and for them, the risk was too great to care about education. This, of course, put a further limitation on what borders they would face in their lives. A lot of these guys ended up incarcerated at some point, some only went once while to others, it was a home away from home. This invisible boundary that was created by their own actions assured that the borders that kept them stagnant in life would be greater than the opportunity to move beyond them. With there being so many outside influences that could create situations and circumstances to keep one locked into a certain sector of society, self-imposed boundaries to me, would be the most hindering. In my adult life I've broken through quite a few borders, set by my family, society or even myself, and I've learned that getting out of your comfort zone and moving beyond what you know is one of the most freeing feelings you could imagine. Even if you venture a little too far and long for home, escaping the ties that bind you gives you the wind beneath your wings, or possibly wings or your sneakers. Wherever the wings land, breaking through those borders is guaranteed to make you soar far and wide, seeking other boundaries to cross.

Throughout the past few years of my life, I have grown mentally and spiritually. I have gone through many stages and experiences in order to get to who I am now. As a teenage student, I feel successful and proud of how much I've grown and improved as a person. With the help of my many friends and families, I'm proud to have the confidence to say, there has been a spark that lit this faith I now have for my future and I. It all started in middle school where I was a 7th grader, I really wanted to be like the “cool” kids: failing classes, wearing the newest Jordans, having the best style, and skipping class. I envied them. I failed on purpose in order to be like them. I even asked others if I should fail this specific class on purpose, and of course, they encouraged me to. I had C's, D's, and mostly F's. As an immature 7th grader, I didn't know what others had thought of me, like my family and “friends”. I never really talked to anyone throughout my 7th grade year because I was too busy trying to fit in with the crowd. In my 8th grade year, I was pulled into a program called Coca Cola Valued Youth Program. It's a program where kids with bad grades go to improve, you tutor little children from elementary school to see how improvement and achievements looks like to encourage yourself to thrive for the better. The purpose of this program was to help you grow academically, but as for me, I didn't. I was still the same person from a year ago, but my grades did improve only because I feared not passing 8th grade. My slovenly effort was decent but the quality of my work was far below basic. Came along my freshmen year, I still thought I was a “cool” kid. I kept trying to fit in with the others. I failed my classes again because I didn't try until the last semester where I had a D in my Advanced English class, which was not a passing grade in order to get into state universities. I joined NJROTC and had many “friends”. I stayed for a year then quit, and when I did, all my “friends” vanished from my social life. I was a lonely person with only two friends who had always left me for their significant other, which caused mental breakdowns leaving me to always ponder why it was always me who had to feel this way. Loneliness had the best of me, which made me feel as if I did not have anyone to lean on, although they said they were “always” going to be there for me. In my sophomore year, I tried a little harder. In the beginning of the school year, I was still a little lonely but I started to get out of my personal bubble. I made a few more friends but they were just not as close. I still thought I was cool. As the lazy person that I was, I came to 1st period late all school year. I did try in my classes, I had A's and B's but the quality of the work was slovenly. I could say I grew a little more mentally, but my life seemed to be on a repetitive pattern, all I did was go to school, then dance practice, and go home to binge watch my Korean dramas. Around March 2018, I became best friends with someone, a simple guy I had met on Black Friday. As we started to get to know each other, I learned something new about Christianity as the days went by. I learned many things from just knowing God: I learned to be patient, I learned to love others even when I was mad, I learned more about God, I also learned how to calm myself, and be open-minded. I was grateful to learn these things and to pass what I have learned to someone else. This was when I started to actually want to see how my future would look like. I grew spiritually, mentally, and physically, I got out of my comfort zone and started to explore, like communicating and listening to other songs in different genres like Christian Worship music. I now have a place in my heart for worship songs because it has led me to new hobbies. My hobbies of dressing up, doing makeup, and collecting Jordans, shifted to learning musical instruments, helping out with housework and volunteering for community service. Today as a junior in high school, I am glad I have met new friends who always encourage me to thrive for the better, and I appreciate my family who is so loving and supportive. I have improved on my attendance of tardy first periods and absent Mondays. I have also been trying my best to keep up my grades. I am satisfied with who I am now, because of the sacrifices I have made. During finals week, I was a little stressed out because of the presentations and tests. I was also in a dance crew called Monsterz Inc but because of how much stress I was under, I had to push something I loved to the side so I can focus on my school work. Now I know I don't want to be who I was in the past because I know that's not me. I want to be better than who I was then, knowing I have potential to improve myself. In my future, I'd want this story to be a motivation that I can tell to those who were in my position because I know I'm not the only one. And that is why I know I will be okay.