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With the National outrage in India over the rape and murder of a 27 years old Veterinarian and another 23 years old rape victim being set on fire on her way to testify in court, I can't help but recall an incident that happened years ago. I got to thinking about the way our society perceive rape and how more often than not , the victims are the ones who get punished. We tend to blame the victim rather than the perpetrators. This incident happened years ago, I was a teenager and living in Aba with my family. Our neighbors had a daughter named 'Chinyere' whom everyone termed ' Promiscuous'. Opposite our house is a two storey building owned by a rich Merchant who has 3 sons. One of this sons is a well known trouble maker called 'Osy'. On the day the incident happened, Osy pretended to be sick and so was left alone at home . He then called Chinyere to come and prepare spaghetti for him. Unknown to her he had 5 of his friends waiting and when she got there, they raped her one after the other . After the crime, they seized her clothes and pushed her out on the street stark naked. You would think people will condemn Osy and his friends but the reverse was the case. Chinyere was severely beaten by her parents and that was it. For months, Osy and his friends boasted openly about how they flogged her with belts when she refused to open her legs and other details of the rape. The girl couldn't walk through the street without one of them taunting and mocking her, she was about 19 years old then. Last I checked, both perpetrators and victim are still alive, all married with kids. Looking at the incident now from the perspective of an adult, I can't help but wonder! Why the parents thought their child deserved to be beaten and the Criminals spared? Why no one spoke out for that innocent girl? Why the perpetrators were the ones mocking the victim and not the other way round? Why the victim had to bow her head in shame while the perpetrators walk with their shoulders straight and their heads high? Could it be that deep inside, our society doesn't really see rape as a serious crime? Could it be that deep inside, we tend to think that anyone who gets raped had it coming? Why is it that judges in court are quick to tell victims to dress the way they were dressed the day they were raped? Why are there more excuses for the perpetrators than sympathy for the victims. I can't even begin to imagine the trauma, that girl had to go through , first in the hands of her torturers and then in the hands of her parents or the shame she had to face afterwards. Our society has to start looking at rape, not with the eyes of the rapist but with the eyes of the victim. We need to first chase away the Wolf before we blame the hen for being careless with her chicks. Women and girls please be careful, who you trust and where you go. It isn't safe out there and at the end of the day the only person that can truly take care of you, is you. Like the songwriter wrote' No one else can feel the rain on your skin'. Be safe this season.

I try to stay in my pajamas as long as possible. Not because I'm particularly lazy, and not because I feel more comfortable in cotton instead of denim, or any other reason like that. I put off my morning routine as much as I can, and since I have classes in the afternoon it's easy. I really do wish I could be like everyone else, immersing myself in a productive daily routine whether I want to or not, because anything is better than what I do now. What stops me from getting ready is shaving. It's so trivial, something that every man does absent-mindedly. However, the issue for me is that in the past couple years, I discovered the fact that I was not a man a little too late. Before college, I finally accepted that I was transgender. At the time, I didn't even really grow facial hair, but instead of taking estrogen, I agonized about not knowing my identity for years. This precious time was wasted, so my late puberty marred my face and body. I started to gain more muscle and a face that has morphed more and more into a man's with every passing day. Having to get dressed and see my body in its purest form, shaving off the hair that never stops growing, and hearing myself speak are just constant reminders of my inherent inadequacy as a feminine being. Even in my freshman year of college, I had a cute, feminine jaw free of little black hairs that started popping up. I even prophesied that my puberty would continue, I'd look worse, and regret not taking estrogen. But, of course, I didn't listen to my gut, and ended up in the exact situation I'm in now. No matter how chipper my day may start out, everything goes south when I need to confront myself in the mirror. I can look away when I put my clothes on, or I can dress in the dark, but shaving is something that must be done in brutal clarity. I step into the bathroom, headband pulling my bangs out of the way and revealing the brow bone I try to conceal every day. I pull my hair back into a low ponytail. When I'm in a good mood, I joke with myself that I'm serving “Paul Revere Realness” but those days are once in a blue moon. Most of the time, I find myself tracing the new fat, square that has recently made its appearance. I don't recognize the person staring back at me, mimicking me doing all the same movements as me with his big, burly body. This man who broke into my house years ago lives with me and in me now, and I don't know where he begins and I end. The worst part is that with every pass of the razor I need to confront the changes that are happening to me. I have a habit of running from whatever changes that come my way. I could stay in my comfort zone, wrapped in a blanket of denial, nice and warm in my pajamas. Every morning, my safe cocoon is breached with every glance I catch of my intruder, with every brief swipe across my face as I groggily rouse myself. I stand in front of the mirror, sullen. I feel like I have to kill myself every morning just to go outside. The woman is dead, the man is taking her place today. I rinse off my face, and begin to scrub it, imagining that my hands are whetstones and I'm carving off all my brutish features. But, every time, I'm left with the same base- a domineering brow bone, a square jaw, and flecks of hair that not even thousands of dollars of laser hair removal could get rid of. And I'm one of the lucky ones- there are people with full beards that must do the same thing I do every morning. Every morning, their chest tightens up the same way as mine, as if it would be easier to carve off our Adam's apples and give ourselves a tracheotomy just to be able to breathe. The longer I hold eye contact with that man in the mirror, the more his face expands and contorts until I'm left with someone even he doesn't recognize. Yet we're one in the same- he hits his face and so do I. He pushes the razor down and and so do I. He clumsily cuts himself and has to wear his battle scars of manhood all day, and I'm left with the same wounds. I've lived with this intruder 21 years, but I've only just started to realize his presence. I've cut out any other time he could be mentioned- I don't have many male friends, I try to distance myself so they don't call me by his name, but every so often, he rears his ugly, bulldog head. No matter how hard I try to walk right, to speak right, and to act right, I see his face in the men around me. I hear his name with every official interaction. He becomes the model for my professional wardrobe. He becomes the surrogate for my life outdoors. But no matter how many layers of blankets I cover myself in, he's always there. He watches me in disgust as I shed him of his mane. He taunts me, and with every passing day, he reminds me that he'll always follow me, wherever I go. I've lived with a man I didn't know for 21 years, and I'm afraid that he'll evict me. That is why I dread having to shave every morning. That is why I stay in my pajamas.

I've noticed it doesn't take much to pass as a guy. As a kid, it's the easiest. You just need a short haircut, and since society is dripping in gender roles, that's all it takes. Too bad when you're a kid, you don't really know what gender is yet to work the system. I know when I was a kid, I didn't care about gender at all. I just really liked games. When I was six, on my mom's old computer, there was a pinball game. It was infuriating. The flippers at the bottom of the screen were never long enough to catch the ball, like a t-rex trying to use its hands. One day I spent hours playing it, and as if I was stuck in a time loop, I shot the ball up, it bounced around, then fell directly into the void. I couldn't shoot the ball back up, without starting over, if I tried. I'm nineteen, now. I know gender, and oh we are not friends. I was walking home from class. The college campus was cold, so I wore my green hoodie and a pair of khaki pants that hugged at the ankles. The wind kept tossing my short curly hair, which I continued to let blow into my eyes. The sting only slightly noticeable. Fall around here was like a hug of ice, and I wanted to be engulfed by it. Up ahead were two men. They had clipboards in their hands, which signaled to me I had to keep my eyes low and walk faster. I didn't want to sign anything, and these guys were tall enough to be ‘persuasive.' My shoes hit the pavement. Leaves crunching underneath me with every step. I just needed to look down. “Hey bro, come sign this petition,” the taller man said to me. I stopped. 'Bro? Did he think- no. I didn't even try today.' I looked up, startled. That was a mistake. I couldn't just pretend not to notice him. I noticed. I started to panic, my words tumbling in my head. 'This is what you wanted. For people to see you as a guy.' I swallowed hard. 'Then why do I feel like I'm gonna puke?' I processed the men's intimidating figures, and concluded they probably weren't trans friendly. In a split-second decision, my voice dropped to its lowest register, shooting down my throat like a pinball. Except this time, I wanted to lose. I wanted my voice to drop into the void. With a huff, I breathed out a low, shaky, “No thanks bro.” I quickly walked away. My non-existent Adam's apple hurting in my throat.

After the day's turmoil, I generally embrace the one corner of my balcony. Away from the chitter-chatter of the room, that place offers me all the solace in the world, and I can ponder for hours together. I might have blabbered with friends throughout the day, might have cried my heart out before my kins, but that 'sometime', when the setting sun colors the sky, I find the perfect time to set on long discourses with my inner self. And I do it quite often. Perhaps, because monopolizing conversations is rare. And it's not mere chance that that 'sometime' dawns upon me the important realizations. When the mind is at peace, and not under the influence of the great ideas and advice from the folks, do we get the chance to listen to our own voice. The setting is perfect to see things in the light, in fact in a new light. And one of such times was this last evening. Grabbing my cell phone, I plugged in the earpiece to tune to my favorite music, and moved to and fro in the gallery. As the music neared the descending scale, my mind gave way to recollecting the day's events and activities, and a deep sense of appreciation crept into my mind; appreciation for the wonderful creation of God - women, often addressed as princesses of their fathers. However, life always doesn't play fair with them. I certainly hold no biases towards any gender, but the kind of transitions a girl goes through the landscape of life is commendable. From an innocent child, living under the care and security of her father, she is taught to abide by the family traditions, and then one day pushed into the space of competition. She struggles to dig her heels in these customs, parallelly striving to make her identity in the crowd of millions. Expectations keep chasing her; sometimes of family, of peers, of professors, of friends. And as an instrument she dances to everyone's tune. Then the big change faces her - solemnization of marriage. With great pomp and show, she is tied in a relation for life. And this becomes her whole and sole focus. From what she wants, she feels, the wheel of thought turns to what he wants, what he feels. And the never-ending internal debate between the opponents starts to witness new settlements off and on. With every new sun, she wakes up to making endeavours to serve her family, and the organization she works for. And what an irony! The managers become more appreciative of her efforts at the workplace, but for the members in the family, her contribution remains insignificant. This certainly shatters her heart, yet she smiles, for the baby in the cradle has brought her new hopes in life.The new member finds shelter in the warmth of the mother, and she ensures to imbibe the teachings and values detrimental for the foundation of a strong character. Often, a woman sacrifices her career but would not let the family bear the consequences of the strict deadlines at her workplace. She invariably places relations atop her priority list. And even at the end of this, when people are thankless to her impeccable standard of devotion, no other misery causes her more mental damage. Although, these indelible scars have no medical cure, an environment of love and affection shall always see them diminishing with time. Sow us in the soil of love, Nourish us with care, Guide us in the right light, And from buds...We will blossom into fragrant flowers.

e·qual·i·ty /əˈkwälədē/ Noun The state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities. Equality. Equality is the balance of two beings no matter race, gender, sexuality, or beliefs. Equality contributes to and displays the genuine treatment everyone deserves no matter the status. The simple word means everything in relationships, relationships as simple as stranger and stranger. However, equality is beginning to grow into just a word, when in reality, the community's respect and future depends on equality. Inequality is affecting future generations and today's individuals. Separation, judging, and disadvantages, three main types of inequality. What are these examples of inequality and how are they majorly affecting our societies? Separation is an example of inequality that is majorly affecting individuals everyday. Separation could be secluding someone for whatever reason society finds a reason to. Separation includes excluding an individual or group or viewing your race, religion, sexuality, or gender as higher than another. People seclude others with differentiating lifestyles, feeling as if there is a barrier if they do not also practice the same. Examples of separation is often influenced on children; therefore teaching the future members of society that inequality is acceptable. Separation is a form of inequality affecting many as people will find reasoning in any differences to seclude or ‘seperate'. Judging is also a key example of inequality that individuals suffer from every day. Judging is almost targeted towards anyone or anything that could make them/it specifically different, such as gender or race. Judging comes in many forms and unfortunately is targeted SPECIFICALLY to those differentiating in any aspect. One could be looking at someone, even a stranger, and having the immediate thought to comment on their race or appearance in the thought that they're automatically the inferior or the ‘lesser person'. Judging may seem harmless due to its common nature, however it is unjust and directed solely to those who may be different. Disadvantages, lastly, is a result of inequality that widespreadly appears everyday at schools, offices, etc. Due to inequality, one of a particular race or gender can't experience or participate in certain activities. Society accepts this practice everyday in offices, homes, and schools, illustrating how fluent inequality is becoming. Disadvantages could include not receiving bonuses or attention. It also includes not receiving the same levels of respect, only because an individual differs in status. Inequality creates disadvantages for many everyday solely for the fact they're different. As inequality becomes increasingly more common, society must ask what we can do to overcome separation, judging, and disadvantages. Together, society should see everyone on the same level with equal opportunities and respect. Overcoming inequality will strengthen relationships as simple as stranger and stranger and help the world grow as one, equally.