I am a writer .I can write essays and article .The title of my essay is Good and bad and unforgettable experiences of life.The good experiences always stay with you forever and bad experiences that you forget easily.

Now i am going to talk you about the period when i had problems with selecting variety works. In that time i had number of choices to work and earn extra money. But everything lead to negative outcome. If i am not mistaken it was a year ago, i had just finished my 3rd year at the university. And i need to earn much money in that time because of variety personal reasons. Firstly, i went to apply to one of the big supermarket for the position of cashier. Then after a day market administration called me to work there as a market staff. It was the first time that i communicated with clients as a salesmen. Earlier, it seemed me more difficult to interact with them but, i realised how to speak with them easily. In that day, one of the market cashier helped me for how to interact and converse with clients. I learnt every aspect of work and also, i used to use the cash calculator. But, in that day i thought as an alien there. Because most of the experienced workers especially, male staff were more ignorant with me and they sometimes were unhelpful with my chores. And that is why i just started to decide not to return there and continue to work. But i did not regret my decision about abandoning the job. After several days i had the 2nd chance to apply to the new job position. And the next occupation was in the office. This was a small agency business that sells natural medicines ,which made from the milk of domestic animals. I heard the work opportunities and its ambitions from the hr staff. And that all inspired me work there and continue my future carier with them. The team was incredible there. Each person was so helpful. But what stopped me carry on the job was the product they wanted to sell. It was natural but there was no any noticeable affection for sick people who injured for a long period. I just understood that condition and i could not do that activity as they did. Because all seemed a lie for me and i did not desire to say patients that they want to hear. Anyway it does not helpful for patients. And once i hear from manager about the lack of effect the certain medicines and they decided to sell another type of medicine for males. And that just forced me stop working there. And i did not return to that work position. However, i experienced several challenges about applying jobs. Despite fails, i did not stop searching new difficulties for me. After a day i found the other work that was much suitable for me. It was loading the freights at warehouses. It was so exciting job because of various reasons. The working team was funny guys and also they were kind with me. The working condition was fantastic. One main drawback was the job was physical not mental. People needed to be more physically strong for that position. And i had lack of enthusiasm because of it. Next day i called the staff manager and warn that i could not continue the job. This was my last decision and i had no idea for working after this. Because i lost my much time wasting for searching the jobs. But what i learnt from them was not just challenges or any misunderstandings, why people need to be so optimistic and how to solve any troubles that they face in unsuitable time. This all showed me being more brave before doing or beginning the new challenges. And i did not regret for my sufferings. It was all just amazing and unforgettable.

Our first lesson on Saturday is philosophy, and the teacher is very strict, don't do what he says, and then you will see what you get. Today was one of those incidents; I and a few of my friends were severely punished for not bringing the textbook our teacher had told us to bring. So, if we leave the classes and do not order this textbook, the teacher will definitely "kill" us for the next lesson, so my friend and I went and ordered the book. Then we all went to our dormitory. At the beginning of this year, we heard about some unknown but highly contagious disease in China, but we had no information. All we knew was that many countries are under quarantine due to the outbreak of the disease. Well, around 1 or 2 o'clock, after having done with my lunch, I heard that the little known lethal disease had arrived. On the official channel of the university, they said that everyone should take precautionary measures and return home, because the country will close educational institutions due to the quarantine. Everyone was in panic. Everyone was afraid of what will happen next, there is no more studying, how long will the quarantine last. Without waiting a second, with all the fright, I headed for my hometown. On March 15, quarantine has been officially announced, and all measures are being taken to ensure that everyone wears a mask and does not gather in public places. Everyone in our family works for the government, so we all gathered at home in one day. First day of quarantine, there was panic as always everywhere. In fact, if you stay at home, you have nothing else to do, if you go out, you will be charged or got caught for violating the quarantine rules, or you yourself will not dare to go out as if the virus is at the door. Our days have started to pass the same way, because everyone is out of work, we immediately dig out our phones and check the internet every minute to see if there is something new. But to be honest, I liked the quarantine at first, you don't have to study, you don't have classes, you can wake up whenever you want, from morning till night, or watch TV or search the Internet, or if you're bored, you play Counter Strike on the computer, of course, then you will immediately find partners - that is, your brothers. Yes, it was a good to start, the days were great, I seemed to have fun, but for a week I felt like I lost myself, you don't have classes, you are mainly busy with sleeping but nothing more. But I decided for myself, that's enough; I knew that in this quarantine, first of all, it is necessary to make good use of time. At that time, online classes had not yet been fully launched, and we, the students, seemed to have been left behind. By the way, at the same time, we brought my beloved grandmother to home; whenever my grandmother is with us joy fills our house, because she is very energetic and cheerful person. At that moment, we knew that the quarantine would last for an unknown period of time until we were notified, and I started making plans for myself. The first thing I did was to cut my hair. In an online class, no one pays attention, either you turn off the camera or, at least, put on a cap. My next plans were to do sports. At first, when I studied at school in the village, we always came and played tennis with my brothers in the evenings, because everyone in our family is good at it. From the basement of our house, I forced my brother to take out table tennis, which no one had played for a long time, and covered with dust. We had fun playing with my brothers, because it used to be like that, and then we all realized how much we missed those exciting moments because we were busy studying. One of the big things I did in quarantine was teaching my grandmother to play tennis. It's not easy as you think, you teach grandma how to throw the ball by showing an example shot, and grandma throws it as she wants, and you bring it from everywhere and after getting exhausted by picking the ball from far distance all the time, you finally say, today's training is over. In short, me did a lot of things during the quarantine, I read books, took care of the animals in our house, played sports, actively participated in classes, and got vaccine. But that's not the main thing, the biggest lesson I learned from the quarantine was love, our life has accelerated to such an extent that we are all busy with work and studies. Many people lost their loved ones, parents lost their children, children lost their parents, friends, loved ones, women lost their husbands, and men lost their wives, and I realized that this little virus not only served us as a great renaissance in medicine, but also taught us to value our loved ones, that everyone should act together, and that taking care of oneself is equal to taking care of other people, and as my story ends here, this is the end of COVID-19, but the start of new successes.

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My brother and I had not spoken to each for about 5 years. All due to an argument that his girlfriend caused. She single-handedly alienated my entire family and my brother. It wasn't until years later when I was officiating at my nephew's wedding that my brother and I spoke again. I told him that I would forgive him for what he put our family through but not forget. It was soon after, that COVID-19 reared its ugly head. It started a pandemic that the world had never seen before. It claimed millions of victims by the time the virus showed any signs of subsiding. Little did we know that one of the victims would be my brother. My brother had been diagnosed with some type of blood disorder that his doctor's claimed would take his life in two years. That was eight years ago. My brother, Joe, had surpassed his “death date” as he called it. He beat those odds only to succumb to COVID-19. It started as just a cough but being a longtime smoker he didn't pay much attention to it. Joe started to exhibit other symptoms besides the cough. Muscle aches, fatigue and vomiting is what made him decide to go to the doctor and be tested. The results were in and although my brother did not get the answer from the doctor that he was hoping for he was prepared for the worst. He was put in quarantine for the next two weeks. His health began to deteriorate as time went on. It was decided that it was in my brother‘s best interest to be sent to another hospital for physical rehab. COVID-19 had weakened him to the point of needing help walking, feeding himself and dressing himself. Many things that most people take for granted. Our entire family helped as much as we could. We all knew that we were ignoring the inevitable, especially when he was moved from the physical rehab hospital to the hospice. They didn't know how much longer he had but they wanted him to be comfortable. It was bad enough that when he was under quarantine nobody was permitted to see him but it was even harder when he was in the hospice. In his weakened state the visits had to be short in order for Joe to get as much rest as possible. To be honest, I preferred the limited visits. It was devastating to see my big brother just wasting away. During this ordeal my brother and I talked. Rather, he talked and I listened. It seemed to me that all he wanted was an ear to bend and a sympathetic heart. I asked him how he felt about knowing that he's going to be dying soon. I expected him to be upset or frustrated. Angry, sad, something. Somehow he was fine with it. He knew it was coming sooner or later and he told me that he didn't have any regrets. There was nothing that he needed to do. Everything he wanted to do in life he did. Joe saw his kids grow up and have their own children, his grandchildren. He got a chance to see his grandchildren grow up and have their children, his great grandchildren. What he said is true. Not too many people get to be around when their great grandchildren are born. I doubted that he was okay with all this going on but the more he and I spoke the more I knew he was being totally honest about how he felt. The only thing he was saddened about was that he wasn't sure if he would be alive to see his youngest daughter, his baby girl, have her first child. Unfortunately, he passed away about two weeks before his last grandchild was born. His last granddaughter, Ava Delilah. Growing up I saw my brother as a certain type of person. A troublemaker, opinionated, arrogant plus a few other choice words. During our many conversations I got to know Joe, the person, not Joe, my brother. I began to understand why he did and said many things while we were growing up. I had truly misjudged him and for that I apologized to him. My brother was very spiritual and believed that everyone had a Guardian Angel. He believed that his was with “El Indio” which translates to “The Indian”. “El Indio”was his Guardian Angel and was to be his guide once he passed. During our conversations I kept thinking about “El Indio” and what it meant to my brother so I decided to draw a picture for him. He was gone before I got a chance to give it to him. At his wake I went up to the casket to pay my respects. I put the picture in the casket with Joe and told him that he now has his guide to show the way. At my nephew's wedding I told my brother that I would forgive him for what he did to the family but not forget. After getting to know my brother with all our talks I got to know the real person. The reasoning behind all his actions are somewhat clear to me although not everything but it was enough to have closure and move on. It was time, to forgive and forget and I'm glad I did it before it was too late. Love you big brother, R.I.P.

Being grateful is hard. Living through the past twenty months, living full stop, is just... A lot. And at the same time nothing. Unemployment. Words like inflation, depression, deficit, budget cuts, pulling up your boot straps... teaching a man to fish. All of these things that add up to me basically never leaving my dads house like. Ever. Boredom is the absolute worst. When nothing happens. When days pass spent bundled in blankets surrounded by sweet wrappers with the sound of the latest hit Netflix show buzzing in my ears as my eyes flicker shut. Weeks can pass like this. It can be hard to stay grounded. It can be really hard sometimes to remember that there is still a lot of good. And a lot to be grateful for. I did a positive psychology course a couple of years ago in my quest to find out what it is, if anything, that I might be interested in.(Historically I've struggled with finding direction a lot.) One of my main takeaways from the course was to practice being grateful for stuff. To sit down at the end of each day and reflect on something I feel good about. Something that fills me with a sense of gratitude and well being. And to write it out. The writing part is important. There's something about holding the pen in your hand, letting the feelings out through the ink and pen scratchings. I don't do that. What I do is every now and again when I feel. Well... Pissed is probably the right word for it. Fuming would also do. When I'm feeling bad and I'm aware enough to actually do something about it instead of watching more TV I'll write a list. I'll head it 'gratitude list' and I'll write twenty or thirty things that are good about my life. And the pen doesn't even get a look anymore. It's all on a notepad on my phone. And it's rushed. (Sure putting that positive psychology knowhow to work.) when I'm struggling sometimes it might start off with something like 'Have roof over my head' and work my way out to other things more personal to me. My dad's nearly always on there, since he was diagnosed with cancer at the end of last year. A lot of the time there's ice cream. Here is the list I wrote today, to keep me grounded. Gratitude list 20/10/2021: 1.Never having to share my bedroom 2.Having privacy/space when I want it 3.Having my own bookcase (with nearly 100 books) 4.Always having books in the house growing up 5.Knowing how to read 6.Being read to by my parents when I was a kid 7.Having a good head on my shoulders 8.Getting to spend quality time with my dad and brother today 9.Having Ice cream in the freezer 10.Having savings 11.Having spare cash 12.The support my dad has recieved since being diagnosed 13.Mum checking up on me 14.How attracted my fiancee is to me 15.My time at CCAD 16.Getting this time with dad 17.My hair 18.The sparrows that live in the roof nextdoor. Bit of an eclectic one today (and there's that ice cream as predicted) and I fell short of the twenty I usually manage, but these are the things that got me through today. And some of them might sound silly but they matter to me. Reading is a big one. My life has always had stories in it. I'm in love with fiction. When I was a teenager I could devour whole books in a day. Get lost somewhere I actually want to be lost in. I fell out of love with reading for a while there, a period of four or five years, starting when I went to art college. I would try to read and I would struggle though ten pages or so before putting the book down. It just wasn't happening for me. I am so grateful that I have been able to find my way back to fiction and that I was led there in the first place when I was small. Books have been a good friend throughout the pandemic. My current companion is Good Omens (one I was read as a kid.My mum has good taste in stories) and it's as good as the first time I read it. Wracking my brains for something, even something small, that gets me through the day gets me though the day. And there have been so many days that have been hard to get through lately. It doesn't feel like it will end. But as long as there's sunshine, cute animal videos and £1 bars of chocolate I will have something to smile about, even if that smile is smaller some days than others. And I can carry them around in my pocket too and look them up on my phone whenever I need reminding that life isn't too bad, even when it's really bad.

There are 1,022,000 words in the English language, and not a single word describes how much my friends mean to me. Each has made a positive impact on my life. Whether they are someone I can relate to or someone I can be myself around with, being around my friends will always keep a smile on my face. There are some things that a human needs that you can't buy with industrial wealth. And one of those things is friends. True friends. When the pandemic started I was confused. Scared of the rumors and news on the internet. I was unprepared for the inevitable. In the first month of the pandemic, I was able to concentrate on myself. As the pandemic settled down and people started interacting with each other, I was finally able to meet my friends in person. Although we called through zoom meetings and phone calls, meeting each other in person just had a better feeling. With very minimal things to do during a pandemic, we kept ourselves busy. We would play games like skribbl.io or Minecraft. With everything wrong with the world back then, I would always have a shoulder to lean on. As virtual learning was almost over and summer just around the corner, there was finally something to look forward to. My friends and I started planning activities for us to do during this break. Sleepovers, pool parties, raiding the gas station's snacks once every week. Everything was looking good for us. As I returned home feeling refreshed from my walk, my parents seemed a bit anxious. As I sat down after washing my hands I was ready for dinner. We were almost halfway done with our dinner and not a single word was spoken. Finally, my sister decided to break the silence. “Dad, what happens to the janitors that work at buildings during the pandemic?” This caught my dad off guard. He told her that the janitors would have to find a temporary job until the pandemic is over. He explained that this is happening to thousands of people around the world and that we should be grateful for what we have. And all of the sudden my parent's attention turned towards me. I was skeptical about why I was getting interesting looks from my parents, but I decided to ignore it. At last, my parents told me what was going on. My dad told me that the company he was working for was barely holding on and that their stocks were going down vertically. And apparently, it wasn't just his company, it was the whole stock market. He told me that his company had another office in North Carolina. We could move there temporarily until his company starts doing better, but if we weren't able to move to North Carolina…. I knew what he was going to say. I sat on my chair with no appetite for dinner anymore. My dad's words had faded and I immediately thought of one thing. Leaving my friends. I wasn't ready and neither will I ever be. Leaving my friend would be the equivalent of losing a loved one. After dinner, I felt very pessimistic. I went straight to bed, hoping to take my mind off the topic. I woke up feeling a bit better. I didn't want to tell my friends everything because I was still processing information myself. Every single day I would look at the stock market to see if the issue had been resolved. I dreaded to see a green line, but I would always be disappointed to see the red one instead. There was this one exceptionally hard night. And what I did that night was unusual for me. I prayed. I didn't pray for just my family, or my future, but for all of the people who were going through what I was. The next day, as usual, I went online to see the stock market. And miraculously, I saw a green line. I could not have been happier. It felt like God heard my problems. Now, of course, a small green line didn't fix the overall issue. It would take a lot of time to resolve the whole problem. But I was happy to see some actual progress. As school ended and the 2-month break started, I became more thankful for the things around me. Knowing anything could change at any time, I tried to find the positives out of every situation. So for me, I tried to get the most out of my summer break. Hanging out with my family, having fun with my friends. Those moments I had were and are memories. But despite what fun activity I was doing a small thought always lingered at the back of my head “What if it happens again?” It's been 16 months and I have changed completely. That ‘thought' of mine is now gone. I have moved to another city with 2 of my other friends. Leaving my childhood and friends had kept me in a gloomy stage. I had considered them as brothers but happened to move 2 hours away from them. Ever since the pandemic, I felt like my journey should be heard. Though my experience may not be as struggling as other's, I would love to relate to somebody. When I came across biopage I knew it was perfect for me. With the community so friendly, I wasn't embarrassed to write. So I strapped down and started sharing my story. ”There are 1,022,000 words in the English language…”

The sun was high up in the sky, shining with all its warm glory. I was sitting with my legs crossed on the floor of my room right under the air conditioner, reading. This amount of heat was not a unique sight during the month of June in Delhi. An ideal summer. What else would a just-turned teenager be doing in her summer break? Here I was, enjoying the last of my summer vacation, unaware that my life was about to be changed, entirely. Before long, the sun had started moving to the west and I decided that this was a good time to go cycling with my sister. My sister is younger than me by four years but we are each other's best friends. While I do have some really close friends from school, none have been with me as long as her. After about three quarters of an hour cycling around the neighborhood, I tediously dragged her back to the house. Usually we would have stayed out longer, but not today. Today papa would be returning early and I had to make some serious plans with him. Of course, I couldn't tell this to my sister because then it wouldn't remain a surprise when it was actually her birthday. As anticipated, our dad came back early. It seemed that he was just as excited as me which was a little rude since it showed that he liked my younger sister better. But I let it slide this time. He took off his shoes and was getting freshened up; with me waiting outside his door as a person who really wanted to use the washroom would. As soon as he was done changing, I took him to his room and began flooding him with ideas for what we could do on my sister's birthday. Only he (politely) shut me down immediately. Huh! Had he already made the plans without even including me? I thought. In a still excited tone he said “Calm down, we'll talk about this later. I need to tell you guys something. Let's go out in the living room.” He had to tell us something? But what? Curiously, I followed him. My mom was busy preparing the dinner and my sister staring at the television. My dad went ahead and retrieved some papers from his office bag. He went into the kitchen with me still following him at his tail. He asked my mom to join us outside to which she replied “I am not done with the dinner yet. Can this wait?” Apparently, it couldn't. So, there we were, the entire family sitting in the living room. My dad handed over the papers to my mom and she read. Now me and my sister were both baffled. We tried peeking over our mother's shoulder but before we could get a good look, my mom let out a loud gasp. What was happening? Our parents rejoiced while we just stared at them. After about a minute of this, our dad told us. “I have an interview at our bank's headquarters in Kolkata. They believe that I have been performing really well and now that I have cleared promotional exams, they really suggest I should give the interview.” Okay, so they were just excited about his promotion. I was expecting something more eventful but this could work too. My dad continued “and if I get selected after the interview phase, we could potentially be transferred to Hong Kong.” Okay, what!? Now it was me and my sister's turn to freak out. We could live in Hong Kong? We who had never even set foot outside of our country? This was surreal. I didn't even know that papa's bank had branches in places besides India. My sister and I hugged our dad so hard that we almost knocked him over. The rest of the day (which was only a couple of hours) was spent as we would on a festival. Soon enough, it was time for our dad's interview. We think he had prepared really well for it but wished him lots of luck nevertheless. He returned after two days and informed us that he thought he did well too. We had gotten our hopes up really high and it was not futile. He received the letter days later informing him that he had been selected to work at the Hong Kong branch for his bank and that we had to leave in a month. I don't think I had ever been so sad and excited all at the same time. On one hand, I was getting the opportunity of living outside of India and gaining so many new experiences. On the other hand, however, I had to leave behind so much and so quickly that it made my heart ache. Although I would have my family when moving to a completely new place, I would be leaving behind my two best friends from school (quite possibly the best people I have ever met so far). Throughout my childhood, I had moved from city to city and had to build my whole social life from scratch every time that happened. The thought of going through that one more time overpowered the dopamine rush from hearing such good news. I went through some serious brooding and heartfelt goodbyes after a crazy last month but it wasn't all bad. I constantly reminded myself that I could keep in touch with friends here and make new friends in Hong Kong and that everything will be fine. Turns it out, it was true. To gain something means to lose something else. It just depends on how you look at it.

Before the covid pandemic started, I was a completely different person than I am today. And I think we all have it the same way. We've all been affected by this strange time. Was it good or bad? The answer is probably different for everyone. When we were announced for a two-week vacation, I believed it would really last two weeks. No one knew what was going to happen. And I really thought it will be just a vacation. The first few weeks were great. I took a break from all the bustle, and practically had days off. I didn't have to get up at six, have breakfast in a hurry and pour my shirt with milk and oats, go by morning bus amongst a bunch of people, and come home tired in the evening and get ready for the next day. I was enjoying nothing. I had time to eat, I slept until late morning, I did my job on short notice sometime between the fun, and the rest of the time I watched a plethora of Netflix shows. After about a month, I'm afraid I got tired of it. There was nothing left to look at, nothing was happening. On people's Instagram profiles, I've seen how creative people are. Yes, one started knitting, the other started playing the piano, the third started practicing yoga, the fourth started to bake healthy cakes, and the fifth started to fold kits. They were all supposedly discovering new beauties of this lifestyle. I didn't find those beauties. I tried the yoga a few times, but after a while, I didn't know why I was doing it. Why? No one will appraciate that. (at the end of quarantine I didn't do a single push-up) I tried to bake too, some zucchiny cream cake. Unfortunately, I burned the whole oven-it didn't quite work out and I don't like zucchini anyway. So I gradually went back to doing nothing. Every day was the same. Nothing new, except that the hero of my favourite show was killed, and, of course, came back to life the next day. It was dreadful. I was in room every day. And either I was lying in bed, on the couch, or sitting in the armchair. There was no one to make me laugh, no annoying classmate or talkative saleswoman. My days were so boring and still the same. I got up in morning, ate breakfast, ate chocolate, worked at the table, ate a bar of chocolate, worked, ate chocolate and watched Netflix and ate chips! Sleep. So I started spending my days on social media. I wasn't able to concentrate at online meetings anymore. I've been looking at terrible nonsense for hours. First it was Tiktoks with dancing, and it ended with strange people dressing their dogs in tailored sweaters, or better yet, frying Snickers. Yeah. That's where I ended. Why? I was looking for something interesting. I was looking for news, for something going on. I needed to know, that something is happening. It was like a drug. It was needed, but deadly. I was everywhere, in every corner of the world, and nowhere at the same time. Unfortunately, this gradually came to the conclusion that social media started destroying me. Everyone seemed to be so happy, they lived such a perfect life, something was going on with them, and I just watched. I was so jealous. Why my life isn't like this? I felt there's something wrong with me. I also haven't talked to anyone in months, no one cared about me, I didn't text my friends, nobody wrote anything. Like I don't exist. I disappeared. Every evening when the sun went down beyond the horizon I sat on the floor and cryed. I felt insecure and scared. All I saw was the dark. And came the philosophical and existential questions. I started to doubt everything... Will I ever get out? Will it ever be the same? Will I ever be able to have fun again? Does anyone else like me? Am I any good? Nobody misses me. Does my life have meaning? Does it all have some meaning? It was like inside a snow globe. It looks so beautiful on the outside. But when you're locked inside every day alone and every day is the same, there's nothing what makes life a life. And you don't know how to break the glass... But then, unexpectedly, they started relaxing the measures, and although I wasn't happy at all. I had to go back to my normal life. It was a big shock at first. I couldn't spend my day „normaly“. Luckily, I got used to it. And I realized one important thing. I realized that what we experience every day is our life. The meaningless little things. I realized how much I missed it. I now appreciate the awful wake-up with alarm, the breakfast in a hurry, and even the weird people on the way to work. It's fun, because every day is so different and interesting. I'm finally enjoying what I didn't realize before. I enjoy talking to a shop assistant in a store, a silly performance at the theatre, or a cold evening on the summer terrace of restaurant. So I have to rethink it... actually, I have to admit, there is one positive thing about the quaratine, it made me really start living. But still, I wish you only an "ordinary" life and no more lockdown.

A few days ago, I was writing a story. A story about a boy. A boy, whose best friends were agony, despair and grief. A boy, whose behavior would often be called “weird”. People would not accept his idiosyncrasies; they would instead find it better to ridicule him and his lack of social skills. His childhood did not deserve to be called a childhood at all. I felt a connection to that story. It was remarkably relatable. Although even I had had very few friends, I had had a lot of pleasant escapades too. Yet, I scraped off that idea and tore my page into a million pieces. I was about to throw them all in the bin when one of the smaller ones caught my attention, and all of a sudden, I was nostalgic. 25th May 2015. It was evening. I was sitting on the couch of my Meemaw's house, reading a book, and I was beaming with delight. After all, my birthday was just around the corner! All of a sudden, I felt an itch in my right ear. Lazy as I was, I did not want to get up and use an earbud. But I was worried about my hygiene too. I couldn't imagine using my own finger to remove my earwax. So, I tore off a bit of paper from the last page, and put it in my ear. As funny as it sounds, it really was effective in removing that itch. The problem arose when I started to enjoy a bit too much. I was holding it with the tip of my finger and inserted it far too deep; and then, I lost my grip. The paper got stuck inside. I panicked. I did not want my parents or my grandparents to find out about my stupidity, so I got up and rushed to get that earbud. Unfortunately, I did not realize that the earbud would not remove that paper; rather it would push it even further inside. I just kept hoping for the paper to attach to the earbud with adhesion, which was practically impossible. The paper, even after this struggle session, was still lodged inside. I decided to forget about this incident and acted normally that night. The next morning however, while eating my breakfast, I felt a searing pain in my ear. I could no longer afford to keep this incident a secret. I confessed everything to my parents. They were shocked at my idiocy; but they knew they had to get my ear checked. Unfortunately, most of the ENT specialists whom we knew about were closed that day. We spent the next 2 hours surfing the internet, but weren't able to find even a single doctor close to us. That was when my mom recalled that she had once been to a doctor, who used to keep his clinic open all year long. “Maybe to earn more?” I deliberated with myself. We got into our car and drove to him. His clinic was present in a really secluded area. He did not have an assistant, and it became obvious to us that he had not had patients in a while when we saw him playing candy crush on his phone in his working hours. He first looked into my ear with a concave mirror and a torch. He could not spot any piece of paper, and was going to conclude that it might have fallen out; when I told him about my pain. That was when I saw him turn serious. He looked more carefully, and this time, he spotted it. He requested my parents to leave us alone. He might've guessed that the love of my parents for me had made them astonishingly soft-hearted, so they might not be able to see me cry. When they left, he warned “Son, you will feel a slight pain in your ear. But your parents told me that you are a brave boy. Once I take that paper ball out, you will be good to go”. I nodded in approval. He put his sharp instrument in my ear. That searing pain returned to me. I wondered why he had not given me any anesthetic. The deeper he went, the more it hurt. It was like having a hundred wasps sting me in a very small periphery for a very long time. I must've gotten lost in my own thoughts, because I remained motionless even after he had taken out the paper from my ear. It was only when he shook me that I came back to my senses. He pointed his finger towards that dirty nasty paper covered with my disgusting earwax. I went outside and saw my parents waiting anxiously. “The operation was successful!”, I exclaimed with delight. My voice startled them. They turned around, only for me to witness my dad gasp in shock and my mom choke a sob. I innocently asked “Why are you crying mom?”, but before she could answer, I felt a drop fall on my neck. “Is my ear bleeding?” Her sudden surge of tears answered my question. While walking towards the bin, I wondered if I had partially lost my hearing. This was one question whose answer I did not want to know. My introspection was interrupted by my mom's voice, “Son, which girl are you dreaming about?” Embarrassed, I replied, “I am not dreaming about any girl mom!” “Then go and do something productive. And remember, don't start thinking about girls again!” We chuckled.

As we know, this covid pandemic has shaken our entire life. It causes my salary cut & this virus has taken away my dad. I live with my mom who divorced from my dad since 18 years ago, but my relation with my dad was fine until mid of 2018 when a problem suddenly emerged that has crashed my relationship with him, after we've gone through a fierce argumentation back and forth via WhatsApp chat. Thereafter I didn't want to contact him anymore like used to be. I felt deeply hurt & very disappointed. I don't understand why he easily relinquished his responsibility as a father towards me as his only child. Actually since the divorce my mom and my close family already told their opinion about my dad's relinquishment towards me and I was the only one who never want to believe that. But his reaction performed towards me by mid 2018 has proven that my belief about him was wrong. He only concerned about himself rather than his responsibility to my crucial needs. I felt so hurt till every time I prayed I could only cry and hoped that my heartache could heal. January 11th, 2020, my mom suddenly informed me that my dad had a cancer, as what he told her. He was hospitalized in North Jakarta which is 48 KM from our home. Before the pandemic arisen, my mom & I could only visit him twice due to its very far distance. When we were about to end our second visit & I said goodbye to him, I couldn't take off my eyes from him like had a sort of hunch as I felt somewhat a whisper in my heart saying “this is your last meeting with him”. After the pandemic started we couldn't even visited him at all. Since end January to March 2020 my dad underwent chemotherapy and most of time he was hospitalized. April 4th 2020 at around 3;00 PM suddenly I got a bad news from my dad's close friend saying that he was critical. I was shocked & immediately checked with his younger sister who accompanied him at the hospital. She confirmed about his critical condition & was about to be moved to isolated ICU since his doctor just found out that somehow he got infected by covid virus. His lung X-rays shown white & his kidneys got suddenly failed. I felt so shocked, deeply confused, hard to believe that covid could attack him while he had been hospitalized. His covid status prevented me from seeing him. Fortunately I got a chance to talk to him despite shortly through my aunt's cellphone & expressed my feeling by saying : "I love you dad" while crying & also said : “actually I've already forgiven you”. He could still hear me & replied me : “I love you too” In the evening around 8;00 PM my aunt intensively communicated with me & my mother, updating about dad's declining condition. At 9;35 PM my aunt told us about his weakening breath. At 9;45 PM she told us that he has gone. I got hysterical, couldn't accept the fact that he died so fast, when my big problem with him had not been resolved yet. His death due to covid prevented me & all of our close family from seeing his body nor attending his cremation process. His ashes was kept in one ashes storage house in West Jakarta. I tried to accept the fact that my dad was no longer around. Remember his kindness, miss the times of confiding in him as he was the one to whom I could express my complaints about anything related to anybody & soothed my heart when I faced problems. But when I remember how he reacted that has crashed my relation with him, I felt again a deep disappointment. My feelings were messed up between longing, annoyance, disappointment, sadness, love, good memories. A week later I followed a big online mass of spirits and submitted his name to be prayed for. I also held a private online mass via zoom to commemorating 100 days of his death and asked our parish priest to lead the mass, joined by close family, friends and Catholic communities in our neighborhood to pray for his eternal peace and happiness. Those all I can do for him. 2 weeks thereafter my mom had an accident fell from a ladder around 1.2 m height, she fell straight on her buttocks and back. Luckily no bone cracks nor fractures happened, so she didn't need to be hospitalized. I took few days leave to take care of her to certain extent. However she needed 3 months to recover 90%, during which she couldn't drive nor accompany me to visit my dad's ashes while I'm not able to drive far distance myself. Only by November 2020 my mom was able to accompany me visiting his ashes. I cried a lot & “talked” to him, let all my feelings out towards him. I prayed for him. Felt rather released for finally I was able to visit him despite only in form of his ashes that was stored in a marble jar. I still need time to accept that he has truly gone moreover as a victim of Covid too. Until now I sometimes cry when remembering his kindnesses but I have to continue my life. He'll be always in my heart. May God forgive all his sins & grant him a heavenly happiness. I love my dad but I believe God loves him much more.

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THE LOCKDOWN A sense of accomplishment was all I could feel as I stood across the window looking out over the city, but this euphoric sensation wasn't one to last. The ringing of my alarm set on the table across the room from me made sure of that. I had placed the alarm as far from me as possible so I would not have put if off since it was within an arm's length. It was already mid semester and time to get serious with my studies, especially with my lecturers reminding us that tests were around the corner. But today, none of that mattered, not the tests or the exams that usually came immediately afterwards, all that mattered was the news of a pandemic, the Covid-19 virus. The day before, when we all received news about the Federal government's decision to shut down all schools in the country was probably the first time, I took the covid-19 virus seriously. Calling friends in affected but distant countries always seemed to make the virus unreal. Receiving numerous calls from my parents made it all the more real. And that was how I sought my way home the next day. Unlike most of my friends, going home was not a problem as my family lived in the same state. Some students, however, lived in other states and had to travel long distances to get home. News of shutting down inter state borders caused in a tremendous increase in traveling costs. Some students, who couldn't travel under such short notice had to find alternative sources of accommodation. The first month at home was spent studying, in the hopes that school would soon resume. In time, I realized it wasn't going to resume anytime soon, at least not with the number of cases of the virus increasing in arithmetic progression across the entire country. More news about the virus flooded the screens of our television, fueling the fear that now engulfed us all. With the pending news of total lockdown in the state, my mother made lists of all the food stuffs we needed and sought about purchasing them all despite the inflated prices. As news of safety measures to stay safe came, so did false information often leading to confusion as to which was true. News of the virus seemed like a political propaganda to some, to others it seemed not as serious as it was made to be, but to a select few it was quite a serious matter. My family was one of those that considered it a serious matter, we never went out unless we really needed to and coming home was immediately followed by hand washing, the use of hand sanitizer and a bath. By the second month, the state has been totally locked down, dashing my hopes that school would resume by the end of the first month. By now reading books relating to academics was a distant dream, but I spent a lot of time reading novels and poems to pass time. Social media challenges were trending and watching them was fun, although I never tried any. With less novels to read, I had to find other ways to kill time, so I picked up an old hobby. Drawing family members and friends was more fun than I anticipated. Often I didn't quite get them right, but I kept practicing. Online classes were also trending, so I took up a Spanish class online. Spending more hours of my day online than I was used to took up a lot more of my data subscriptions than I anticipated. I had to cut down on my online activities. So, I got more free time and had to find new ways to spend them. After a week's worth of begging, my brother and I convinced our father to teach us to drive. We practiced along the now empty streets and it seemed like more learners were taking this opportunity too. With time, we got better but not after giving the old car a few scratches here and there. On one occasion, my brother almost hit a car in front of it while I almost drove in to a ditch once but with time we got better. After a while, I had built a routine that kept me busy. First I would go out early in the morning to practice driving with my brother, then when I got home I would practice my Spanish, read novels and draw. Between all these, watching movies was always squeezed in between. I had almost completely adapted to a life at home. Being a student was now a distant memory I often reminisced about. On one of those moments of nostalgia, my phone called me back from the land of wandering thoughts. At first, it was nice hearing an old friend's voice, but the fear I sensed soon made me worry. Apparently he was experiencing some symptoms of the corona virus after traveling to one of the states where the pandemic was more prevalent. He talked about his plans to get tested while I encouraged him not to worry and wait patiently to get his test result before jumping to conclusions. Calming him down took awhile but it eventually worked. After the call ended, his words kept coming back to me, “I don't want to die.” I realized so many people had died from the virus and I couldn't help but be thankful for my life and that of my family.

As 2020 began, I had high hopes that it would follow in 2019's footsteps and be a great year. I was wrong. I was supposed to go to college this year, but I don't see the favors coming over my side, because the government has cancelled most of our competitive exams. This new disease, COVID-19, has flipped our worlds upside down from these last few weeks. At first, when I heard about this virus, I didn't pay any attention to it at all. I told myself that it was only a small disease and that it would stop soon. But in the end, it was the other way around. Months went by and the infection got worse. I started to realize the impact it has on human life and the importance of taking care of myself, to protect not only me but also others. As the media and government told us, it is important to stay at home because we can spread the virus without knowing it. Typically on a Monday, I would've been up at 7 am, going to study in my coaching classes from 9 am to 5 pm. Then after I used to spend some chill time with my friends or just take a walk in the local park. I always have something to do during the day. Many people think I'm pretty crazy for always having such a jam packed schedule but that's just how I function. Now on this Monday morning in quarantine, I woke up at 10 am, looked through social media for 45 minutes before I got out of the bed. And it would be great to say that, I've been studying for my classes and finally started that intense workout plan I've always wanted to do. It would probably be great to do all the tedious tasks that I've put off doing because I simply “never had time”. But now that this quarantine has granted me so much time, I haven't. I haven't done much of anything. Since the lockdown, I've had trouble finding motivation in doing anything other than getting out of bed and begrudgingly logging onto my Zoom classes. My thoughts on online classes? I was never a fan of online classes, never thought I would, but look at me now. In the midst of writing this, my teacher updated my math grades! How lovely, my grade is currently at a B… guys. Besides my math class, how am I supposed to take my other classes? Physics? Chemistry? At the same time. This quick transition from having in-person classes to now online classes is such an overwhelming feeling and I haven't even started. I'm pretty sure when I wished that i had some break for relaxation from the hectic schedule, this is definitely not what I had in mind. There's only so much Netflix and YouTube I could watch before I go crazy. Typically, I don't really watch that much Netflix because I always have something to do, so this transition isn't so easy. After the first couple days of being home and not being allowed out, I got sick of watching TV or browsing my Instagram, Twitter, and Whats-app and repeating it over and over again. I really want to be active. But I'm annoyed by scrolling through social media. Everything on YouTube is boring to me right now. It's so weird that whenever I pick up my phone, I involuntarily go to Instagram or Twitter to mindlessly scroll. I then get back to my room and take a nap. Afterwards, I grab something to eat. This is currently my daily routine. I think I should gain weight before ever catching COVID-19. I decided, instead of looking at people doing their own home/work routine, I would actually do my own routine. I recently joined an organisation which focuses on building Service leaders and Entrepreneurship skills. I'm also learning animation and doodle art, made few videos on YouTube out of them, got a pretty good response. And to be honest, I'm really liking this change. Simple actions such as going out to see your friends or hanging out with them, are now out of the question. Heck, even buying a pizza seems taboo nowadays. Over the past week or two, I've lost count of the days at this point. I've asked myself how to cure this seemingly never-ending loneliness. And like my most recent math test, I'm left with a lot of blank answers. I'm not even sure how long this quarantine will last, or how long I will last quarantined in my place, but all I know is that I'm trying to keep calm. I feel that in this time it's essential for all of us to adopt an optimistic point of view. The situation at hand is stressful, but life is still going on, and it's just as beautiful as it was before all of this. I'm taking the time to enjoy the little things, as well as try to improve on my poorer habits. What we need to remember is that this quarantine isn't going to last forever. We will be able to enjoy the things and the people we love in due time. Right now it's important to stay inside and do our part for the benefit of the world. So sit back, relax, read a book, or call a friend. We will get through this together, standing 6 feet apart, but together nonetheless.

The Conventions were friendly competitions that Accelerated Christian Education (A.C.E.) students from all over the world took part in. By attending these conventions, I got to travel outside my home country, Tanzania, and go to countries like Kenya (regional), South Africa (national) and even the United States (international). I got exposed to different cultures both inside and outside Africa and made lasting friendships with people halfway across the world from where I call home. The Conventions are places, like their motto goes: "where one week can last a lifetime." Come October 2016, I knew that this would be my final chance to make a mark at the AASC. How would I pass up such an opportunity? I had been practicing. I had been memorizing. And it all came down to this: will I bring home the gold, or will I be a mere spectator to surrounding victories? I was content to do whatever it takes. That year I did: Singing (mixed duet and small ensemble), Group Bible Speaking, Golden Harp (memorization of the book of Psalms), Preaching, and Expressive Reading. When I wasn't at singing practice, I was practicing my Expressive Reading, and if I wasn't practicing for that, I was at Group Bible Speaking practice (a Biblical theater form of sorts), and if I wasn't at either of those, I was memorizing yet another of the 150 chapters of the book of Psalms. The victory was mine; I could almost taste it. When our trip commenced, I was nervous, excited, and terrified all at the same time. I obviously could not wait to perform and put all of my hard work on display, but I was not ready for the rejection. “What if I don't place?” became a constant visitor in my subconscious. I knew I worked hard, but doubt has a way of creeping in when you least expect it. I was sure of one thing, however, because I had memorized the book of Psalms, there was one medal and ISC nomination out there for me regardless. This thought held me together throughout all my performances. And as Lorri Faye said, “even a single thread of hope, is still a very powerful thing.” Furthermore, by nightfall of every day, we all gathered for what we called “evening rallies.” I looked forward to these. The auditorium became filled with 1000+ students: chanting, shouting and just being themselves. I felt at home. I was surrounded by people who understood my joys and struggles both academically and spiritually. It was idyllic. As the Convention progressed and performances drew to a close, judges would welcome to the stage, students who did exceptionally well in different categories. These were called "command performances," and although it did not mean that these students placed, it was still a great honor. On a particular night, as we made our way to the auditorium, word got to my friends and I that our small ensemble group had gotten a command performance, and we were due on stage soon. “This is it,” I thought, even if they said we don't necessarily place when we got command performances, I hoped that we would (spoiler alert: we did). The thrill of being up on that stage with my friends, all eyes on us as we belted lyrics that we had worked long and hard to memorize was exhilarating. I felt like I was on top of the world, however old and typical that phrase is, I felt it that night. And it felt good. Soon enough, we had two days left and the Convention would be over. When Friday arrived, the air seemed to buzz in harmony with the excitement of the students. Piled to the rafters in the auditorium each one held their breath as the winners and runner ups for each category were announced. The memorization categories went first. I leaped from my seat as soon as I saw my name and by the time it was called out, I reached for my trophy with trembling hands and bowed my head as the medal was placed around my neck. Animated, I ran up to where my school was seated, everyone beaming and clapping me on the back, wishing me a hearty congratulations. I was happy. Moments later, the singing categories were displayed and I saw my name. Doing a double take, I almost tripped as I rushed down the stairs and into the waiting room. My friend Victor and I had placed second in the mixed duets category. Soon after our small ensemble group was called out, I went on stage to collect my third medal. It felt too good to be true. However, since it was my first time doing Expressive Reading, I wasn't as wounded when I didn't place. To conclude, they called out the names for the female preachers (a more recent development in the Convention) and imagine my shock to see my name on display. I got first place. I placed first. And I was in every sense of the word: elated. Shortly thereafter, the Convention ended and it was in every bit fun and nerve wracking. It really did last a lifetime. And even though that chapter in my life is closed, I now have “memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.”