My little sister was given up for adoption when she was born in 1992. She is my mother's eighth and last child. To think I have been trying all that I can for the past 15 years or so to find an unknown person is sometimes so crazy to me. She could totally hate me, but I am going for it. Through the whole process, I just wanted to know that she was okay. I wanted to know that she had a good life and a good family. I always focused my search on finding her parents, because it was never my place to tell her she was adopted. I never wanted to hurt anyone. For many years, I felt like a failure. All this technology at my fingertips, and I still couldn't find her. I even applied to be on a TV show. I was in contact with the show for a little while but ultimately, they couldn't find her. “Where did I go wrong?” I thought. It wasn't until 2017 that I realized all that I had learned from trying to find her. Starting this journey opened a whole new world for me. My love of genealogy. I am sure it was always there, but it was flourished because of her. I have used all this knowledge to help so many people over the years. Some with great success and some with no solution at all. I decided to start my little side quest and Genealogy Girl was born! Since then, I have been able to help even more with their genealogy, finding family members, hunting graves, and returning photos/documents from estate sales/vintage stores to the original families/blood lines. It has been an amazing experience so far! For me, she is more than my blood sister. She became my inspiration for the amazing things that I do now to help others. I decided to buy a DNA kit from Ancestry.com. It took about eight weeks to get the results in which felt like forever. When I finally got the email that my results were in, I shrieked in excitement! I had about 3,000 matches. I just knew that one of those had to be my sister. I was so disappointed when there were no sibling matches. I was devastated. I just knew that I would never find her. I didn't even go through my matches for weeks. When I finally did, I found so many new connections. I was able to build my family tree so much more. I had contemplated buying more DNA kit from other sites, but it just didn't feel right. I slowed down on looking for her. I felt like that was a sign for me to take a break because it would happen when it happened. My half-brother decided to research his DNA and medical traits using a DNA kit from 23andMe.com in 2019. He and I have the same mother so I figured his DNA would pick up on any sibling matches. Unfortunately, there were matches for siblings. Since he and I are not full blood siblings, I explained that sometimes sibling matches can come up as a first cousin. It comes down to how the DNA matches according to the centimorgans in the DNA. Honestly, it is super scientific and I'm more artsy. So basically, I needed him to keep an eye out for sibling and first cousin. Fast forward to January 1, 2022, I still had not found my sister. I had the day off from work for the holiday, so I was being lazy lounging in bed. It was about 6:15p.m. when I got a message from my cousin on my mother's side about a DNA match from her account on 23andMe.com. She messaged me that someone was trying to find their birth mother and she figured that I could help. When I read the words “She was born in 1992 in Florida.” I lost my breath for a moment. I immediately began to cry. I couldn't find my breath or my voice. I texted my husband who was in the other room and he came into the bedroom and said, “Are you serious?” We were both in shock. Fifteen years or so of researching, joining groups on social media, registered with multiple adoption reunion groups, interviewed for a TV show, DNA testing and I still couldn't find her. She found me. Our first texts to each other were very guarded. I didn't know what she knew or didn't know, and I wasn't sure how much of my information was 100% accurate. Within a few hours, we were sharing pictures and a list of our favorites. We met at an airport in Pensacola, FL where she picked me and my daughter up for a trip to the beach. Meeting her and her family has been so rewarding. I cannot believe how similar we are in the most unusual ways. About six months later, we are so close. We talk multiple times a week and cannot wait to share things with each other. We are not afraid to have the hard conversations, but we are always transparent. Over the years I have read so many articles and blogs about the emotional toll that finding an adopted sibling can take on a person's mental health. There are so many things that can happen or go wrong. I was prepared for anything. I was prepared to hear the words, “I don't want anything to do with you." I was also prepared to cry if I heard those answers. It has been an emotional roller coaster for sure, but I have been waiting to get on this ride for a long time.
The lock down had barely been lifted when people scampered on the road making the most of the time because no one knew when the state will be shut again. We heard about the terrible virus and we had so much confidence that before it gets to our country, it would be burned up by the heat in this part of the world, little did we know. It had come, the government declared a 2 weeks lock down leaving the masses stranded, almost hopeless and begging to survive. Soon the ban was lifted, only to be followed by a routine of work hours and a curfew of 8 pm- 6 am daily followed suit. This routine made life miserable for me but we could not object to it cause it was for our good. It was Friday, few minutes to 04: 00 pm, I had informed my colleagues that I would leave 2 hours after closure since I still had a pile of work yet to be done, I usually stay later than others compiling daily- monthly reports, thus I was left alone with my boss. I had nearly finished when I heard a knock on the door, it was my boss who came to inform me that he was going, I did not want to be left alone, I quickly shut down my system and followed him out. It was already late and he was not heading my direction. I bade him farewell hoping to see him the next week, I wish I had known what laid in store for me. Hurrying down the street, heading for the junction, I had to use the footbridge in order to get a cab that will go my way. A 100 meters to the bridge, I sighted a causally dressed young lady, she seemed to be waiting for someone, more so a stranger who needed direction, but I thought to myself, any sensible stranger would not wait on a lonely path just to ask for directions, my instinct gave a warning beep, run! I heard my heart tell me. Approaching the bridge, she took out her phone as if to call someone, she called out: "sister, please excuse me" i did not wait to hear what other information she had for me, I obeyed my instinct and took to my heels. She came after me, slowly and slowly, I ran as fast as I could up the bridge's stairs, straight and down again, my heartbeat, as loud as a gong. Racing down the stairs on the opposite lane, I flagged down a cab and hopped in without asking questions, I screamed "drive! We zoomed off and I felt at peace. A few meters into our journey, I noticed funny movements in the car, the driver kept using the rear mirror to look at me, his hair was braided, he had tattoos and a piercing on his nose, "okay I can overlook that" I said to myself, a nursing mother was in the front seat with her child, the lady by my side had an unkempt skin, she seemed to be uncomfortable, scared and all of that and a huge fair man by her side, making a total of 4 persons. I still did not feel anything was wrong in this cab, not until the lady beside me took out a spray from her bag and spoke in low tones, she told the man she just wanted to know what the spray scented like. I sat by the door, all the windows were partly down, I am allergic to harsh smell, so I wound the glass down, the driver wound it up from his seat, I did not know why I didn't oppose to this strange act. In split of seconds, she sprayed what she had towards me, I gave her a questionable look as to asking why she did that? I covered my nose, but luck was not on my side this time, even with my nose mask on, I had inhaled a good dose of it, instead of choking, I felt dizzy, that was when it dawned on me, I've been kidnapped, I screamed out loud: "from fry pan to fire, oh no! Just then did the same lady who seemed uncomfortable and scared asked of my name; "my name is Blue" I stammered, tears pouring from my eyes into my nose mask, "wow, I'm red then" they burst out laughing. She snatched my bag and started ransacking it, she said: "this babe is poor babe oh! she no get anything, what do we do? She pulled out something from my bag and threw it back with so much speed, she blurted: "eeww, disgusting fellow", just then did I realize she had taken out my handkerchief that was drenched in mucus from catarrh which I suffered through out the week. At every point where it seemed like I would sleep off, she gave me a slap to concentrate. She took out my wallet and found 2 expired debit cards, an expired university identity card, a few passports and just the complete amount of money to take me home. She took out my umbrella, then my ballerina shoes and she exclaimed; "did something die in your shoes, why do they smell so awful", I still couldn't say a word, I was so terrified. They dropped me at a junction I never knew, and carted away with my umbrella( I loved that umbrella so much). Sucked up in fear, I found another cab, this time I assessed the driver to the point he said; "madam, are you going or not? I sat all cuddled up at the back seat, wishing I could teleport myself from the car to the arms of my mama. I got home terrified, dizzy and uncoordinated. My sister mailed my boss asking for a week leave, he gave two, in his words: "let her quarantine herself".