At the end of 2019, an unknown storm of virus hit our mother Earth, for we had never ever seen before, emergency and hospital are working day and night. The shop was shut, the school was shut, everything in the whole world seem stop to me, the time is frozen outside, no one was even out, no dogs are barking, no cars are honking, everything is just so quiet and peaceful, but we human beings felt like we are falling into a deep black shadowy night. A night we may never came out or never end. In the early of 2020, once the red and noisy street turns into silent, mysterious and foggy old towns, what can we say? The virus are keep on spreading and corrodes people's heart, defeating the psychological defense, breaking our down into pieces and eaten our all, but we are keep on standing up, we are keeping on fight them, unsung heroes are trying their best to fight back, to break the fog in front of us, to end this terrible and horrible night...... We as Chinese been the first people to guarantee and stay at home, always wear masks, the unbreakable cage locked us down in this situation and trying even to break into it, "Boop, boop, boop." Every heartbeat in my life at this time is hard, quick and strong, even nervous, willing to come out. But I keep it inside me, I try to let myself com down, because life is brutal, life is unforgiving, if at this this very very dark and shadowy night, you say:"Nope, I cannot handle this anymore, I cannot, I feel so down, I feel so upset, I just want to give up."Well, that is how I start to feel at the middle of the pandemic, I want to go out, I am desire to feel the nature, to explore the life, and not just spent days in my home, taking online lesson, I feel desperate and many of my friends are also feeling so, but this is very true and very actual. So bring this feeling I made it to the March, when I finally relief and understand, I start to don't care about when the pandemic is going to end or not, and I start to not wishing that there will be an end for this pandemic, and I think it is kind good for me, because I start to do more and more new things, drawing, exercising and thinking on or a better way. After the relief in my heart, it is kind of weird, the pandemic seem end, the light of the sun shine, symbolized the end of the long and silence night, people are congratulating and showing happiness, but I think the silence night ends.

My life is easier than most during this time. It's hardly changed at all. Three times a week, we try to untwist my spine. Leaving the house is no issue at all. Wake up late to load my laptop, yet I log onto school on time. The only issue is homework refusing to load, but that hasn't changed anything at all. My routine has stayed the same, yet an overhanging cloud slowly starts to fill the air. My family's concerns over something unseen seeps into my own worry. No one there seems to care for the safety of others. Nothing has changed there at all. A slight anxiety gnaws at me. It bites and it tastes yet its teeth don't sink in. So nothing has changed there at all. With more corruption coming to light, more hatred and anger, the cloud starts to grow, and the fangs grow longer. But I'll stay silent about it, so nothing has changed there. They talk about it more - my parents, I mean. Politics and illness and people who don't make sense - every day, every hour, and the news is always on. That's new. I keep picking at my skin, slight anxiety seeping in. I bleed without feeling it, the pain far away. My fingers are chapped, my lips torn apart. But it will heal, so it's fine. Nothing new there, anyway. Things are happening around me. Friends of family dying, family being reckless, family not understanding the danger they're in. Family wanting to be blind to it all. I eat more skin off my fingers, more off my lips. The scent of lavender is calming, soothing, and I give in. Keep trying to unwind my spine, but excuses prevent my family from helping me get help. It's happening more than usual, but it's not really anything new. I can't watch anything without my family referencing politics, or anything really, that I'm trying to escape from. Don't they know it's to escape? To get away from this world, even just for an hour? So that's new. Everything else is the same for me. I don't feel trapped in my house. I just don't want to go outside. I leave three times a week. My homework is lagging, but it stays the same. I keep scratching and picking til I bleed, but bandages and lavender are there for me. Nothing is normal, but it's all the same.