Sometimes you find yourself in places you should never be. Whispering lies just to ease the pain, not realizing the crime for which you must pay. A life long slot within my mind of all the times I held back the tears that night. Wishing I was somehow anywhere but there with anyone but you. When you beg yourself after all is said and done, let's not ever do a thing like that again. Still, some days you feel it just like it was happening. You're mind shutters and your body follows. How you couldn't have for seen this misery before. Damn, how some scars never seem to heal. They just cause you pain and lack of love for yourself. They make you question all of your future goals and paths. God, they just cling to you like life support. And when you try to forget, oh how you try. You try to walk away for time and healing, but they drag you back. Do you think this is you're own eternal fires of hell? Regret. There is such a lack of love for our own mistakes. Isn't if funny how we can forgive, genuinely forgive others for their mistakes, but you cannot let go of your own. Yeah, its totally crazy to me to. Sometimes I imagine its like trying to swing the door meant to go only one way. We just hit that see thru wall. We know holding it against ourselves isn't healthy, but how do you just let that shit go? I mean its all control, right? We need to feel in control of our own pathway. We need to feel like we cannot make mistakes. So when we do, as we are meant to, its so damn frustrating. Like couldn't you have for seen this in our DNA? We are too weak to simply move forward. We need to analyze it a little more. Always a little more. Because the philosophy that no art is ever perfect is actually quite perfect. As we are Art ourselves. We are the potential to be altered. The creation to be created. The masterpiece to be spectated at.

Sometimes our reflection isn't what it seems. The other day I saw it in my dreams. She was so lovely as a whole, but piece by piece the devil owned her soul. It may seem small so incomplete these pieces of her that are lessons of defeat. Like a pebble across the water she'll have to crawl to bring them back together. Just one skip and it all could fall to complete ruin despite it all. So, now is the time when the Raven's would cry to alert the plains, hush now my mind let's try not to be so insane. Yet, I wonder when the numbers crunch on and the tales are all told, when we're standing there with nothing but our soul. Could this masked task be the best benefit after all? Kind of like tunnel vision where you're falling within the fall just falling falling falling...Seeing shadows creep behind the walls because that isn't ever strange, no not at all. Those are the lies we tell ourselves when we've lost control. The hidden chambers within each of our souls. For we simply do not exist like one would think, we're on a pathway and it runs deep. So many tunnels, so many missed steps. Sometimes we do get caught up in the rapids. Not every channel leads to happiness. Thoughts that cross your mind over and over...does it ever make you wonder...maybe its not really your thoughts? Maybe it is the thoughts of another far off in this galaxy. Maybe they are your guidance in this external atmosphere. For what we feel inside, there isn't enough ways to make it real or appear. Certain times we find ourselves reaching out to moonlit skies asking for the answers, begging for someone to hear our cries. We're always looking out for someone who has just a bit higher frequency then ourselves. I feel like maybe we're not so small after all. Like just maybe I am a tad bit crazy for how I think for how I feel for how I tell my tale. Maybe if we cross a few more moonbeams we'll finally find that solution that we seek. We'll all find that dimension of love and happiness we only dream in our dreams. You know exactly what I mean. That realm your mind sometimes slips into. The pain doesn't exist, no noise...just silence. Almost like you're sleeping but what you feel is quite too exciting. Like how the water is so still as if no creature were stirring. How everything in life just freezes but still exists. This plain of pure bliss when you're eyes are closed and for a moment just for a bit you simply only do exist within it.