Friend —noun 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Simple as it is, I think that most of us would agree with this particular description. Although bland, it appears to encompass all the main ideas of friendship that would spring to mind. But not for me. At least, not anymore. No, as when you look deeper, one discovers that what this definition fails to reiterate is that in true friendship, these feelings are, or rather, should be reciprocated. Not only that, but it also neglects to mention that being a friend includes far more than simple feelings. We're all familiar with the age-old saying, “Actions speak louder than words,” and this aphorism proves its truth time and time again. There was a particular occasion quite recently when a girl I had believed myself to be friends with showed me the veracity of this statement. However, it wasn't in the way that you might think. She didn't fill my head with false promises about lifelong friendship and then fail to deliver. No, nothing of that sort. Words were not the problem at all, in fact. It was her actions that drove the final nail in the coffin of our friendship; they spoke loud and clear. As far as our definition is concerned, I was fully committed to being her ride or die. If I were to refer back to it like an instruction manual, I was certainly ticking all the boxes. But, do you remember our discussion on the fatal flaw of our dictum? It fails to mention the importance of reciprocation. So, it came as a surprise to me that whenever her time came to step into her role, she happily passed up the opportunity. The crux of it was far shallower and pettier than what you may think, which, in my opinion, adds even more insult to injury. She was unable to fulfil her duties as a friend, as she was exceedingly more interested in possessing what we all seem to thrive on in our teenage years, and in fact, at times, later on in life as well; she cared only about popularity. Being an outcast, I could be of no use to her as she tried to climb her way up ‘the ranks', so to speak. What is more, one could argue that she was playing by fair rules, as our definition mentions nothing of returning these feelings of affection. Her rejection had to occur several times before I came to this conclusion. This girl wasn't my friend at all; or if she was, my understanding of the word was evidently flawed. We all too often underestimate how evasive true friendship really is. A person would be lucky to have one true friend in this world, even if the relationship was short-lived. Just to have a taste of what it's like for someone to truly care for and understand you, and to want absolutely nothing in return. As our world becomes increasingly materialistic, our moral compasses slide off their axes and we continue to idolize expense and luxury to an increasing extent, it becomes clear that not much on this Earth is free. Anything worth having always comes at a price. I think that this is our issue when it comes to friendship. And not only this but all of our relationships. Because as soon as something is tied to monetary value, it becomes worthless. And as we all fight our way to the top of the social hierarchy, we buy friendships to help us along the way. The true power wielders in this world are not those with the most money, or knowledge or any of the things that we assume quantify success, at least not on their way up. They are not people with bulletproof integrity and titanium generosity. Neither of those things remain when we hold the world in our hand. Why? Because we sell them. We tie our morals and scruples to earthly goods and desires. The materialism of our society is worth more. So, we take the only things that cannot be stolen from us and sell them instead. And by the end of it, tradable goods like friendship are worth nothing at all. I'm sure you're all wondering how we got here. This place seems like a far cry from our simple dictionary definition. But this metaphor can be translated into every aspect of our lives if we only learn the language. Humanity has driven us to this state of selfishness. Authenticity has become a rarity and the truth a commodity that can be changed to please a buyer. We are unkind to each other. We use each other. We hurt each other. All to get what we want. So, the next time you call someone a friend, perhaps contemplate how truthful you're really being. Both with the friend in question and with yourself. Do you truly care for them, and them for you? Do you both speak about your feelings for each other, or show them? Or, is it all a mere façade for personal gain? Perhaps to work your way into a clique you've been shunned from. To get a leg up in the workplace, perhaps? Don't sell what is priceless. Be good to those around you who care for you. Appreciate the relationships that bring you joy, because they are more uncommon and valuable than you might assume.

I look in the mirror every day, and I look more and more like my mother. What's sad about that is my mother doesn't even look like herself anymore. I am a reflection of the person my mother should have been. Instead of choosing her life she chose her addictions, she chose alcohol and repeatedly chose drugs. It feels like the worst thing in the world, mourning a loss of someone who is still alive. No matter how hard you try, you can not change the person they have become, and ultimately find yourself giving up. You finally give up because while they're flying over you with their delusional happiness, you're drowning of sadness and regret of the things you could've tried, or the things you may have been able to change. The fact I've realized is that there's nothing you could've done, and there's nothing you can do. These people have chosen this life, they've chosen to be selfish, and they don't care if you drown because they are not the same people who you once knew. So don't. You don't need to follow the same path as your parents, so many people I know like to use that as an excuse. " My parents were drug users, my parents were alcoholics, it runs in the family, I'm not to blame here, it runs in the family", they are choosing to be weak, and take no responsibility for their actions. You do not have to be weak, you have the strength to be someone different you just have to choose that for yourself. Choose every morning to get out of bed. Choose every morning to go to work, to make something of yourself, to explore the life that was given to you. Don't blame someone else for putting you on the path to addiction if you're not even going to try and do anything to fight everyone that's pushing you to fall in the wrong direction. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Whenever you're feeling like you can't fight your roots, think of everyone in your life that you're bringing down with you. Your kids, your siblings, your aunt and uncle. Be better, try harder. You deserve a future that hasn't been designed by the people who created you. You don't deserve to drown anymore. Things I remind myself every time I look in the mirror.