At break of another blessed day, No matter how you might feel, Bird song and bright light, I pray, You shall awake, your heart shall heal. My heart beats in gratitude fervently, For my soul is reminded it has you: You offer succour and love patiently, Remind me of many blessings anew. Even in abysmal depths of despair And indescribable moments of fear, Your voice knows how me to repair, How to soothe me, call me “dear”. Dawn brings the lightness of being, For soon, I know, I shall you be seeing.

So yet another one! This time there is nothing certain in my mind. So this post can be a bit disconnected and I may switch contexts arbitrarily at times. Pardon me for that! Everything is ordinary this time of the year. College has started, everybody is busy with practicals, tutorials, professor projects, and what not. But I am a bit different(or at least I feel it). A question has been troubling me since I have gained maturity in life. But before getting to that question let me just show you the two opinions that exist in today's world. First one is a popular one. Pursue the field you are passionate about. Hmm, let me think what if someone doesn't know what he is passionate about? Then keep looking for it, right? My father is in great opposition to that theory, which brings me to the second kind of ideology that world has. There is nothing like passion in this world. If you work hard in any field and get a bit of success there you start liking it and that becomes your passion. Ah, a contradiction!! So, which one of these is right then? Actually that is the question I have been pondering for a while now(see I told you I am a bit different). Now a 19 year old thinking on a question like that, maybe is thought insane or probably going in the wrong direction. But here I am all puzzled. Searching on web you would get more positive views on the first argument that there is something like passion in this world. But my father isn't wrong as well. As he has lived his life the other way and I adore him for the person he is. After a lot of thinking I finally arrived at a conclusion that actually these things aren't contradictory. All depends on the mindset of the person. If you think you don't have a passion, it's just something you work upon and you become good at it.. so be it. And if you think that there is a special something for everyone then you are gonna get it sometime in your life out of nowhere. You just strongly have to believe it. Well what kind are you? It's something you have to figure out. But make sure to pick one and BELIEVE !!

A lesson in Courage This past year I had made a drastic change in my life. It has been something that I have wanted for quite some time and I finally made the leap. I was working the corporate scene for over 13 years and the rapid growth that I helped to foster became very overwhelming and one-sided by the owners of the companies. I was putting in 12 hour days consistently and working weekends either at home or going into the office. I had reached the highest level possible for someone that was not a relative and the advancement opportunities were non-existent except for a yearly raise. The workload was more than one person could handle and they were loathed to add extra bodies I quote" to keep a lean department." I presented on several occasions that I am overwhelmed and made the comment that deadlines for projects and reports cannot be met due to taking care of customers first as has always been their motto. I was tired a lot and missed so many family functions that I am embarrassed now as I look back and ask why? My immunity was low from the lack of self-care or lack of balance and I caught every cold or infection that came into my office which made an already hard situation worse. I stopped doing things that I love doing like this blog or other hobbies due to exhaustion for the most part. I had a revelation on a quote that I had seen that I cannot credit the author but it stated thus: "In a battle of egos the loser always wins!" That rang close to home for me because I realized that it was my ego that kept me going for years and the main owners ego was what drove him, a lot of times correctly, however when it came to his eldest and most loyal employees it produced a very toxic environment for the last couple of years. I feel that he wanted to retire and the truth was his son and son in law enjoyed the customer side of sales and did not step up to take on more corporate duties making him feel that he could not pull back on being at the office full time, he is 79 years old. I understand that but I felt instead of yelling and belittling them all the time it was his management staff that he took his feelings out on. His mood swings got to be uncontrollable and after the acquisition, I completed for him for his 4th business in the same exact month that we were implementing a new accounting software program with no added bodies I had reached the limit of my will. I plugged along from June 1st of this year until the end of October when I provided notice of resignation. I presented a graceful smile and stood upright and confident as I laid my post office box keys and the key to the building on his desk as I handed him the letter of resignation. I felt a burden release from me that was immediate relief. I made sure to quickly say this is for me and has nothing to do with money and please do not present counteroffers I am not that type of a person. I made the decision and it was done in my mind and no going back. Well for 3 days I had to endure the owners and Vice Presidents and wives of each wanting to meet with me to talk and ask me to stay or help them thru this project or that extending my notice at one point thru until year-end closings. I finally just said look that only benefits you and not me. The Vice President looked at me and said I understand and yes you are right. After 3 days of silence, they finally let us announce it to my staff. The owners and staff were all teary-eyed and I was smiling at each one and wishing everyone the best and telling them I will miss them, I hugged the owner and did the best I could to train and close out some personal business that I did on the side for the owners and family at the same time. The last day I worked was November 13th, 2018 and I feel like I have had the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders. I am appreciative of all I have learned and glad that It has opened me up to other opportunities that I can't wait to pursue. I feel like I finally understand what is more important now. Balance is the key. If courage is needed for you in your life also, it is my hopes that you are able to summon the worth that you deserve.