Husbands, has your wife ever asked you something like: “Do you think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world?” [Hint: to any literal communicator's analyzing the logical response to your wife's bid for love] She is not asking you to crown her as the next Mrs. America— she's asking if you have crowned her as your Queen to be the most beautiful girl in the only world that matters to her—yours. At first glance some may assert a wife who asks such questions to her husband is simply insecure and it's on her to deal with those insecurities. When have matters of the heart, love and marriage ever been simple? Hopefully, if you're still reading (HA!) you are open to a more in-depth look at the Psychology and Spirituality woven into the essence of women, by our Creator, that rightly motivates a wife to desire such validation, admiration and belonging. For those of you who are husbands stumbling across this in a voluntary pursuit to better understand your wife— STOP— take a moment and receive the Holy Spirit's ‘high-five' for walking out 1 Peter 3:7 (May your dedication to your marriage be recognized and admired!): “In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.” [1 Peter 3:7 AMP] In statistics a ‘raw score' is simply a number that represents the correctly answered questions (i.e. 60) but a raw score does not convey any meaning until some standard is applied with which to interpret the raw score. A wife can hear her husband say “You look nice, sweetie” or “Sure, I think you're beautiful”. These are a collection of correct answers that make up the sum total of a raw score. Now imagine you're leaving church together and a fashionable, tall, fit, attractive woman stops and talks with the both of you. You exchange pleasantries and continue about your day. Gentlemen, I introduce to you the standard your wife is now using to make meaning of and interpret the raw score. You're input greatly informs how the raw score is interpreted. The wife is thinking: “There is no doubt in my mind that woman at church is beautiful. She had it all: perfectly styled hair, flawless make-up, tanned legs for days, straight/white teeth that would land her a job as the new poster woman for the American Dental Association… My husband's told me before that he thinks I'm beautiful— just this morning he said I looked 'nice'… but next to her does he see me as ‘that kind' of beautiful… am I the most beautiful women in the world— to him?” Later that night she reluctantly discloses she's been wondering if you thought she was more beautiful than the woman at church. Just as God needs for us to tell him we adore him more than anyone or anything in the world your wife needs to hear you say she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you— after all, we are each made in God's image. Insecurity is not the primary motivation to her question, rather it's her desire to be chosen above all other women (as Christ desires for us to choose Him). If, as her husband, you find you're hesitant or flat out unable to see your wife as the most beautiful woman in the world to you… in that moment lean on the Holy Spirit to speak these affirming words to your wife through you and take note of your disbelief. To speak these words is to provide her with emotional safety and security that symbolizes clean air for her to thrive and breath life into the marriage, children, and the home. It's okay to lean into the Holy Spirit to be your provider and intercede on your behalf— to allow His words to flow through your mouth. This is not a lie or deceitfulness. This is the living, loving, active marriage covenant at work, circling around your strengths, weaknesses, past hurts and ensuring the future vision of you and your wife's marriage/family/ministry is fed and protected. It's crucial for you to: 1) Intentionally go to God, your men's group, and/or seek counseling to discover what's driving your hesitation/disbelief. 2) Take steps toward being able to truthfully see her as the Holy Spirit see's her. 3) Place the crown upon her head as your Queen. “I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown” (Revelations 3:11 NKJV) 4) Experience the rewards of watching your marriage THRIVE and your wife step into the woman God created her to be.

“I don't want to think about it." “I know. But we're going to wish we'd talked about it before it happens,” I remind her. “It was so hard to tell you that I'm moving to Ohio,” she admits. Moving to Ohio… It echoes in my mind: Moving to Ohio… moving to Ohio… moving to Ohio... Wait. MOVING to Ohio?! Not just going back — Moving. Permanently. It hits me. My sister is moving away for good. We cry. For hours we force ourselves awake just so we can soak up these last few moments together before it happens -- before reality comes and whisks her away. We stay as close together as we can. Sometimes we're talking, running through memories both good and bad, confiding our fears of this new reality, looking back on the sisterhood we never want to lose. We've built something strong, Ana and I. We've built the most unique, sure friendship I have ever known. Sometimes, we just sit in silence. My sob breaks in, and Ana's hand is never far. She comforts me. Sobs shake my body and break my heart. It can't be real. Ana pulls my tear-streaked face closer to hers. Her left hand grips mine, and her free hand begins to stroke my hair. Like she always has, Ana comforts me. I know she would do anything to make me feel safe. The best part? All she has to do is be there and be herself for that to happen. There's an unmatched power in my sister's tender, intense love toward me. Something delicate and gentle lands on my face. It's Ana's kiss. I am still; I let her do it. I would never let anyone else. But I know I'm safe with Ana. And then we just sit together, breathing in every sweet breath of the last night together we'll be graced with for a long time. We're in awe of how precious we always will be to each other. We soak in every bit of this time, lingering in sweet sisterhood, hoping it doesn't vanish as a dream does when we wake up tomorrow morning. We silently acknowledge the special place we will always hold in one another's hearts, simply hushed, almost unable to believe we got to be sisters in the first place. We love each other. We wish the sun would take its time in rising, but we also know that dawn ushers in Ohio, and Ohio bubbles with the promise of a great, fresh start for Ana. We still just don't want tonight to end. We don't know how we'll deal with the weirdness of tomorrow apart, and all the tomorrows that will follow. But tears are tiring us out. We finally plug in to music and lay down to try to get some sleep… next to each other, of course, eyes fixed on one another's, and we hold hands. We never want to let go, but we know we'll have to, come morning. We're not missing a beat till then. But it is late, so I fool myself, suggesting, “Let's go to sleep.” "Okay," my sister plays along. My eyelids fall together and immediately brim with tears. I stifle them for a second, but soon they give way. Ana's still there. Her gentle hand reaches up, and without a word, she wipes the big tears away from my eyes. I look into hers. She's so beautiful.

They often say pets are people's best friends. My Fat-Man is no exception. Fat-man is a reasonably large black and white cat. He was born around 2010. His mother was an indoor/outdoor cat. However, she had her babies inside. She would next proceed to resolutely take the innocent babies outside under the trailer. When we went out and retrieved them, she transported them right back out. We naturally worried about the kittens, but they were always fine. We intended on getting rid of all the cats but, I talked my mom into fixing and keeping Fat-man and he remained an indoor/outdoor cat. He came and went as he pleased. I perceive him as one of the most beautiful cats I've ever seen. His glossy fur is long and silky. However, if you pet him, you'll likely end up covered in his fur. His head is primarily black, except a bit of white on his chin. The white on his chin goes down into his chest area but stops halfway. The rest of him is black, minus his paws. Even though his paws are white, they're always clean. Much like a proper man wearing white gloves. He is constantly cleaning himself. Whenever you try to manage the burs in his fur, he'll get agitated and growl at you. He has never hissed. My mom repeatedly said he was more like a dog. He growled, played fetch, and drank plentifully out of the toilet. My Fat-Man is also incredibly intelligent. When we moved houses, we didn't want to allow him outside because my mom and I were genuinely worried he'd get bewildered in the unfamiliar environment and not come back. But he is wild at heart and desired to be outside. He snuck past us and zoomed into the vast trailer park. We were frightened he was gone for good. However, one typical day my mom and I were sitting passively on the couch. We were talking but got interrupted by something hitting the window causing a visible shadow to envelop the room. The shadow was accompanied by bu a ´thud´ and then a noise that sounded like velcro being taken apart. My mom and I were confused, and honestly a bit scared. We went outside seeing what the noise was. Sure enough, there sat my lovely cat. He had jumped up on the window to capture our attention and then dragged his claws down the window screen. This continued for a considerable while until the mesh screen was completely destroyed. People who own pets for a while start to pick up on their pets little quirks. Fat-Man had many quirks. You could sit peacefully in the yard and play fetch with him. You could toss a bouncy ball or a milk ring and he would typically return it back. I've also noticed that in the sunlight, you can undoubtedly see brown in his fur. In the Summer his coat gets thinner and, in the Winter it gets thicker. I've always preferred his winter coat. He voluntarily allows you to cradle him like a baby. After all, he is my baby boy. Whenever you don't allow him outside, he'll get frustrated and hell huff like a child does when they don't receive the toy they've asked for. He'll stretch up towards the doorknob as f he's trying to open it. Although he appreciates people, he does not exactly get along with other cats. When he came inside to eat, the other cats would hiss and growl at him. Ultimately, we had to start stowing him in my room. He loved laying near me. Notwithstanding when it was extremely humid in my room. He would knead my arm, trying to get comfortable. However, he tended to use his claws, so it felt more like pins and needles. Once he got relaxed, though, it was impossible to shift him. He was dead weight. And believe me, he isn't exactly light. His name is a bit misleading. He isn't fat. When he was a kitten, he was extremely fluffy making him look fat. In fact, he is very muscular. I have so many stories of this amazing cat, and they probably wouldn't be able to be confined to 5,000 words, so I'll just tell my favorites to close. In one case, we had to have our house flea bombed, and we had to transport the cats somewhere else for a bit. I buckled that poor cat into the seatbelt with me instead of putting him in a crate like the other cats. Another time, we had just gotten home, and I went into the kitchen. Something almost flew into my head. There was undoubtedly a live bird in our house. Fat-Man dragged this innocent bird into our house through a hole we had behind the washer. My mom eventually threw a towel over the bird's head and flung it outside. The last story is about the time Fat-Man got injured. He had come home limping. Naturally concerned, we hauled him to a veterinarian. Fat-Mans leg was fractured clean. He had to stay inside for a bit which he didn't like at all. He was so exhilarated to finally get back out there. My Fat-Man is such an extraordinary cat. He's capable, quirky, radiant, easy-going, and honestly one of the best cats I've ever had. And believe me, I've had 16 cats. Fat-Man is sincerely my most beloved friend. I know he's just a cat, but he's consistently been there to console me. I cherish him. My cat. My Fat-Man.

We all have a negativity bias. Those of us who live in the Western world have an inaccurate ideology in regards to the ‘impoverished' world. We conceive that things are getting worse. The media and organizations, who longing for donations, persuade us things are worse than they are. We conform to the ideas in mainstream media. After being subjected to hundreds of stories of people dying from inadequate healthcare, addictions, violent crime, natural disasters, poverty and starvation. What we do not see or hear about is how drastically these numbers are shrinking. Maybe crime has gone up in the last year, or 5 years, but as a whole, these numbers are shrinking. Maybe millions of people still live without electricity, or vaccinations, or education, or even basic human rights, but these numbers are shrinking. When we look at facts from the short term, we can get caught up on the numbers. We have to take a step back at look at not only numbers, but percentages in a population, or changes in numbers over the years. A number can be misleading when it is on its own. Look at statistics over the past 10, 20, or 50 years. Crime is diminishing, women are being educated, having smaller families and overcoming poverty. The world is not on a downhill spiral, the world is getting better. Millions of people work every day toward changes in our society, and it is not in vain. The ‘developed world', will soon just be ‘The World'. 80% of people in the world have some access to electricity. (Rosling, 2018) Even in low-income countries, 60% of girls finish at least primary schools. (Roser & Ortiz-Ospina, 2019) In the past 20 years, poverty has been cut in half. (Rosling, 2018) Child labor has decreased by 40 percent from 2000 to 2016. ("23 charts and maps that show the world is getting much, much better", 2019) Life expectancies have more than doubled in the past 50 years ("23 charts and maps that show the world is getting much, much better", 2019) Child mortality rates have halved since 1990. ("23 charts and maps that show the world is getting much, much better", 2019) We still have years of work ahead of us, but it is important for people to see the progress being made in the world today. To see what benefits their efforts, tax/donation dollars are reaping. We cannot sit by and believe everything is okay in the world, just as much as we cannot accept the lie that the world cannot be improved. Today's mainstream media focus on negative, and short term news. We do not see the long term improvements happening all the time, just more gradually. So many wonderful things are happening in the world, and improvements are constantly progressing. If you ever feel beaten down by negativity in the news, be mindful of the negativity bias, and remember that big changes do not happen overnight. Sources Rosling, H. (2018). Factfulness. [Place of publication not identified]: Flatiron Books. Roser, M., & Ortiz-Ospina, E. (2019). Primary and Secondary Education. Retrieved from https://ourworldindata.org/primary-and-secondary-education 23 charts and maps that show the world is getting much, much better. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.vox.com/2014/11/24/7272929/global-poverty-h ealth-crime-literacy-good-news

The most beautiful moments of my life are the ones nobody sees. God has called me to see the sacred in the ordinary. From ripe, round, unbearably red strawberries in a simple pottery bowl to spindly curvy palm trees arching into a perfect Hawaiian sky or speckled-belly puppies lying on their backs under a hot Georgia sun, if I choose (and I do choose) to see with my heart as well as my eyes, I get to watch the common transform into the holy. I am one girl, one woman, one daughter, one mother. I have lived this incredible lifetime of memories, choices, gains and losses. Sometimes I wish I'd accomplished more: written my bestselling book, won the Pulitzer, made more money, acquired more possessions. I wish I'd become famous for something meaningful, helped to eradicate a disease, saved a life, or invented something really, really cool. In those times, when I'm thinking that way, I feel a little foolish. What is my life about? Why was I here? And, in some cases, what was I thinking? But, God reminds me. He made me with one purpose: I am here to bear witness. And I take that charge seriously, with great reverence and gratitude for that which I am privileged to see. Like the connection between my daughter, a homeless man and me in front of a Costa Mesa diner. A disheveled man with bright blue eyes in a sun-beaten face, whose name is Kevin. Who connected with my brand newly 26 year old daughter Zoe and me. The one who said, "I was just wondering what to do about dinner" when we offered him a burrito, uneaten, with a clean fork, knife, napkin, and a gorgeous fruit juice. I looked at him and took him straight into my heart. We will never see each other again but Kevin is a part of me now and I am a part of him and that is because God showed him to me, and me to him. Our hearts met because we could see. Like the nights - so many of them - when I leaned, exhausted after a long shift at the hospital, and stared down at my three daughters, sleeping in their little beds. I drank in the sight of them, lying there with their tousled hair and the innocence of sleep dusting their beautiful small faces. It was hard, lonely and scary being a single mom but every time I looked at my girls, my heart cracked wide open and new strength flowed through my tired veins, giving me life to keep going one more day - for them. Like when my parents' house was leveled by a tornado and I watched my 82 year old father searching through rubble for pieces of the 70-year-old train set he's had since his father gave it to him when Papa was 12. That strong man, that beautiful heart, that frail body, bent and weak after twin heart attacks, a stroke, and heart surgery less than a year ago...his will, his courage, his beauty shone like a bright light over all the broken bricks, splintered wood, uprooted tree trunks. Like the way God made me a Pied Piper of animals, mine and other people's and strays. I love them all the same. Ruffy, the tiny toy poodle who became my love, the son I never had, the husband I should have had! Ruffy, who became my dearest companion for the next eleven years til he died at 18. I think Ruffy is still with me. How could he be gone? I feel his presence. I loved him then and I will love him always. Thank you, Dillie, for being his first mom and for allowing me to be his last. And Molly, Beau, Dearie, Goldie, Sadie, Peter Criss, Lily, Sophie, Nahla, Ollie. To every animal I have ever seen wandering the streets, I pray each time that you will be safe, fed, protected. I give you food if I can. I love you. I see you. I see squirrels darting, raccoons scooting, deer leaping across roads and I pray to God for you to make it, and for you to live long lives, free from hunters and fast cars. You matter because I see you. We are all living souls. Like the one who gave life to me, my strong honest God-fearing mother. I watch her raising her grandchildren. She is 74 years old. Every morning she gets up and takes three kids to school. Every night she stays up late, getting clothes washed and lunches ready. I see you, Mama. I see your tiredness, your fear, your weariness and I also see your surviving spirit, your strong beating heart, your wisdom that goes on forever. Like the beauty of humanity: people making human chains to save one dog, a woman giving her life to save her child's, people of faith sacrificing for their beliefs, one homeless man giving his coat to a homeless child. This life is a gift to us from God. That's what I believe. You don't have to believe that way. One thing we all need to do, though, is find a way to bear witness. If we don't, it will go away. And we, as a people, will have lost out on an entire universe of honest, simple, ordinary, common moments that are actually magical, beautiful, wondrous, glorious, sacred, and holy.

It took nearly a week for me to grasp the words for depicting my thoughts on the paper. Few things make our life embellished in such a way that we are unable to define them. I realized this fact after getting spliced to the one who becomes my reason for living. This is a relationship called blessing gifted by God enfolded with love, care, understanding and much more. I still memorize the day when I was inquired about my plans for getting married during the initial interview for my current job. I replied hurriedly: “I don't want to be a caged bird with clipped wing”. Today a slight glance on my answer makes me giggle. I still remember the unforgettable golden journey of my life with my soul mate. The scorching Sun of August with 54 degree in Dubai has spruced my life tome with lots of vibrant moments. Each instant was constructing a precious memory filled with his saccharine presence. Within a month we discovered the beauty of the desert land covered with glass scrappers and the marvels of 21st century. I loved the Big Bus ride with its briefing service about the places we were visiting one after other. We decided to take our meal while hunting for the best cuisine after getting exhausted on the first day of our excursion. On the way towards the restaurant, as we entered to the foot wear outlet I asked him unpredictably: “what are we doing here?” As we were planning to take our meal first, he said to get the pursuit sneakers for me, so that tomorrow I will be able to walk properly without any throbbing. How come he knows that I am not contended in these shoes? You make me whole; my heart whispered….It is care with no judgments. We had the best dinning outs right from Palm Atlantics to the cruise dinning's ---.Each cuisine was giving a divine taste because they were amended with the fundamental ingredients of his love and affection. There were two fascinated things I wanted to try at least once in my life, since my child hood: One was to hover like a bird on the sky and other one to swim like blue face angel beneath the sea. I still remember the paragliding at Jumeirah beach. It was my first ride of paragliding with my beloved one. That moment made me speechless because he was adventurous to do those things that I was enthralled for. How come he knows that I was dreaming of all this... I enquired to the God… I felt like whatever I was asking to God it was all diffused in his mind. The more we were flying up the more I was feeling like I am the luckiest wife on this universe, undeniably. Next morning another surprise was ready which he shared while holding my hand: “Let's explore something new!” I asked him surprisingly: “Like what?” He said, “Let's go for swimming”. I was astounded and the only reply which I would be able to give was my tight hug with thankful expression to God. I still remember my first dive while holding his hand and heeding to his instructions in the glinting blue wavy water of the pool. I took a long breath and came out of the water with the feeling of freedom and success while leaving all the fear factors behind. I can't believe I have done it. You drive me mad, I embraced him tightly while yelling with pride and contentment of a dream comes true. A relationship of trust with no ifs and thens. I kept all the precious moments of our trip in my mind to be recalled specially when there are any pros and cons for silly things… A self-reminder when a voice comes from my heart that “I am blessed”. He is the one who adjudicates me more than I evaluate myself. He guides me before I slouch down. He always emboldens my every single effort for doing something new and crazy. He is the one who can read my silence if any discord arises. I adore you and my love for you has grown by leaps and bounds by every passing day. I am chasing to filch the magical words for extracting my feelings towards my partner. Everything gets a side except his love and devotion. Life is beautiful and is the biggest blessing I am rewarded with. Life is not about hunting for Mr. Perfect, It's about enjoying it with the one who makes it perfect! I got mine whom “I love so much” and suggest you to adore yours.