It's hard to believe that it's been just over one month since I left behind everything I knew and moved to Kentucky. It feels like so much longer. So much has been packed into those 30 days. The life I knew then and the life I know now are worlds apart. In one month, I have been to Georgia, Ohio, West Virginia and Virginia. I have eaten Indian, Thai, Korean and Japanese food. I have been to one of the largest grocery stores in the country, stayed at a beautiful historic hotel, had my vehicle stranded at the bottom of a hill and had to hike two miles out of a national forest, explored dilapidated coal mine towns, hiked beautiful trails, experienced the soul-searing pain of losing my mother, and moved into a new home. I have felt excitement, joy, fear, anxiety, gratitude, depression, and guilt. I feel guilt, because while I am sitting on a very nice, comfortable couch in a warm, cozy house on a beautiful mountain-side, I feel anxious. I should feel immense gratitude, and deep down I do - but the anxiety likes to take over. While on a walk today, I told my husband how ironic it is that this is exactly what we wanted -- to live in a quaint little home on the side of a mountain, tucked back in the peaceful wilderness. Now I have exactly that, and I do not feel happiness. While I was in therapy this past year, my therapist and I discovered that my anxiety is rooted in fear - the fear of losing control. This past month, I have had very little control over my life. I have more or less been at the mercy of those taking care of us, and I thank God that they were incredibly kind, gracious, generous people. I don't know where we would be without them. I also know that I wouldn't have made it through this past month without my husband, who is more familiar with this area and way of life. In the grand scheme of things, we have been incredibly fortunate. We have had a comfortable place to live and sleep, good food in our bellies, clothes on our backs, a working vehicle, and enough money to get by. In the grand scheme of things, the world will not end if I can't pay my credit card bills. This move has been a lesson in what to be grateful for, and what in this life is absolutely necessary. I have learned to really appreciate quiet time, hiking boots, healthy food, good razors, and temperature control. I have also learned what true charity is, and the kind of person I want to be. Somewhere along the course of my life, I was taught that the most important thing in this world and the primary indicator of my character was how I handled money. I was also (unfortunately) taught that receiving help from people was a double-edged sword; I could accept the gift, but I had better make sure I used it in a way they would approve, and pay them back in a timely manner. This past year, and especially this past month, has taught me otherwise. This area is poor. Very poor. And this area is also full of the nicest people you will ever meet. People who instantly make you feel comfortable, people who don't judge, people who will tell you their life story and then invite you over for dinner before you've had a chance to say anything about yourself, and they always end the conversation with "If you need anything, you just let me know." Every...single...time. The truth is, I have everything I've ever wanted. I am living in a colorful, quaint house on a beautiful mountainside that could easily be a coveted air bnb. I am surrounded by mountains and streams and infinite beauty and have hiking trails literally right outside my back door. I am married to a wonderful man and have a happy marriage. In one week, I will be reunited with my two adorable kittens. I even have a well-paying job that includes writing, which I love to do. I have everything I have dreamed about for so long...I just have to get my brain to accept that it is okay to be happy.

Appalachia is considered one of the most uneducated and poverty-ridden regions of the United States, and I was born in the middle of it. A minuscule town by the name of Inez located in Martin County, Kentucky, that barely made it onto the map. At first glance, one can tell this town is on the brink of abandonment and total collapse. For example, Main Street should be a bustling center of every town. But ours is composed of run down, boarded up buildings festering asbestos and with no money remaining in the town budget to fix them, or replace them with buildings that would be more suited for commercial purposes, the remnants of the glory days of the town are left to crumble away into nothing but dusty piles of bricks. The failing economy of the town and dwindling jobs aided in keeping Martin County in such a shabby state. Once the days of coal mining were over, it became much harder for citizens to find work. The ones who have jobs in town holding onto them as long as they can to avoid the practically nonexistent job market while others not so lucky turn to finding work both out of town and out of state. Those unable to work due to disabilities caused by working in the mines still fighting up to this day for compensation. For those who have a calling that does not include healthcare, retail, or heating and cooling installation, there is nothing for you here. Even if you manage to get a job in one of these fields, you are still not guaranteed a quality life. As of 2016, the percentage of poverty in Martin County stood at 39.3% and if the town continues with no incoming businesses and new opportunities for the citizens to make a living, that number will only increase. Some try to improve the economic situation by opening mom-and-pop shops. However, they inevitably fail due to the population trying to make the most of their money from deals at companies such as Walmart or Save-A-Lot. With small shops on a budget trying both to bring in products and make a profit, they simply cannot keep up with such large competition. Along with companies looking at the small town with even smaller pockets as a risk, the town simply does not stand much of a chance to attract new businesses. The town money issues also did nothing to improve the school systems. In fact, one of my most prominent memories from high school is sitting at my scratched up desk and having to peel apart the pages of a musty old textbook glued together with someone's dip spit. New textbooks were a rare occurrence and only happened a couple of times for select classes. The Sheldon Clark High School that was located in Inez closed down in 2013 due to structural damage from the road crew blasting through the hill next to it in order to carve a new road out of town to bigger cities. The school itself was founded in 1972; so it had seen a fair share of hardship being a place of education for generations of teens and blasting so close to such an old building simply hastened the deterioration. While a new road to bigger cities could potentially bring in more business, as of August 2018, the road itself remains uncompleted. Leaving the youth without a proper high school for five years and counting. A new high school is being built, but until completion, Martin County youth will have to settle for getting their high school education at the former middle school. The middle school students getting their education from Warfield Middle School; the neighboring middle school. According to the census bureau, a mere 6.3% of people in Martin County, 25 years or older, hold a Bachelor's degree or higher. With it already being so low, depriving the youth of a strong education could further damage their ability to acquire a college degree which drastically inhibits the possibility of acquiring a good job. It has long been said that Kentucky struggles with problems in the education system and poverty. While I wish I could be writing of the more positive traits of the area, these issues are substantial and crippling to the population desperately trying to make ends meet. Including myself who opted to move out of the state in search of a more fulfilling life. For anything to improve in this part of Appalachia, I believe it to be essential that the state recognizes these issues and work more towards remedying them if they want their small towns to stand a chance of survival. To many wanting to make an honest living and be happy doing it, it is not worth staying in an area that rarely has good paying jobs. Often, those faced with a poverty-stricken lifestyle and have no way out are prone to peddling drugs in order to pay the bills or using them as an escape from their situation which creates the prevalent drug problem. At the moment, those still facing these problems in the state can only hope that the situation makes a change for the better and small towns like Inez can start getting back on their feet and begin offering people a more pleasant living experience.