What does it mean to be a patriot? Many people have Ideas of what it means. But I believe right now many people are confused. With the recent assassination attempt of former president Donald trump, it brought to light the very distinct beliefs of many people. Some people might think that he was just messed up or maybe his decision was induced by drugs or peer pressure. But I believe he knew what he was doing. Everyone has their own beliefs although some are wrong, they still believe them. Some with powerful zealous. I know captain America isn't the most influential person in the world, but he said something that resembles my thoughts exactly for this man Thomas crooks. In a conversation he was talking to maria hill when she called the twins nuts for letting a scientist experiment on them. Captain answered with “right who would let a German scientist experiment on them to help protect their country.” Maria hill replies with “were not at war captain” “they are” was his response. Did you catch that? He told her that their zealousness was the reason they did it. It was because of their love for their country that they would go to such lengths. Crooks shouldn't have done what he did but he did it because he thought it was for the best. He didn't think trump was the best thing for his country and when he deduce trump was going to win the election. He decided to take things into his own young and capable hands. He knew it would most likely mean his life would end but he was willing to sacrifice his life because of what he thought was right. I by no means am happy about the assassination attempt. But I do know everything happens for a reason. I know God has a plan for trump and for Thomas's family although they might not see it yet. Ok back to patriotism. So obviously trying to kill the former president isn't what patriotism is, I think we all can agree. So what is it then. I believe it is knowing what the founding fathers meant when they created the constitution. Why they made it and why they created this country in the first place. What are the answers to these questions? Well, they created the constitution to protect our freedoms to keep our country inline. to remind us of why they created this amazing country we are fortunate to live in. They wanted us to have the freedom they didn't have when under British rule. They wanted us to know our worth and to know how great of a people we could be if under God. They wanted to show the world how strong we can be when united as one nation. They knew how to work together, to communicate and to sacrifice all they had for the good of all people. There are people in this country who are accusing the founding fathers and other historic men/women, of genocide. However, we know that without sacrifice there is no reward. Yes, the American forefathers' hands were dripping in the blood of men who fought against there freedom. But they did it to protect the lives of millions of others. Evey country has blood stains that can't go away, no matter how hard you scrub. True patriots should know the history of your country. Why we believe in what we believe in and why others believe what they believe. Being a patriot doesn't only mean wearing a don't tread on me shirt or a I plead the 2nd although exhibiting freedom of speech is definitely needed at times. We need a filter, something that tells us what is acceptable and what is not. That is why we have laws and morals and the knowledge of right or wrong. Some men and women have abused this filter turning off crucial factors in it. I as a Christian have the holy spirit to filter my thoughts and feelings to give me control over my actions and irrational decisions. That is why the founding fathers called us “one nation under God.” They knew without him this nation wouldn't stand. That is why I believe our country is falling at a rash and horrifying speed. We got rid of our filter. Being a patriot is not about killing for what you think is right it is standing for freedom, not only for yourself but for your family and whole nation. Not backing down when they press you against the wall hoping you will lose your beliefs and faith in the creator of the world and people you are fighting for. That is what being a true patriot means. Stand strong, hold fast, and keep believing.

Husbands, has your wife ever asked you something like: “Do you think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world?” [Hint: to any literal communicator's analyzing the logical response to your wife's bid for love] She is not asking you to crown her as the next Mrs. America— she's asking if you have crowned her as your Queen to be the most beautiful girl in the only world that matters to her—yours. At first glance some may assert a wife who asks such questions to her husband is simply insecure and it's on her to deal with those insecurities. When have matters of the heart, love and marriage ever been simple? Hopefully, if you're still reading (HA!) you are open to a more in-depth look at the Psychology and Spirituality woven into the essence of women, by our Creator, that rightly motivates a wife to desire such validation, admiration and belonging. For those of you who are husbands stumbling across this in a voluntary pursuit to better understand your wife— STOP— take a moment and receive the Holy Spirit's ‘high-five' for walking out 1 Peter 3:7 (May your dedication to your marriage be recognized and admired!): “In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.” [1 Peter 3:7 AMP] In statistics a ‘raw score' is simply a number that represents the correctly answered questions (i.e. 60) but a raw score does not convey any meaning until some standard is applied with which to interpret the raw score. A wife can hear her husband say “You look nice, sweetie” or “Sure, I think you're beautiful”. These are a collection of correct answers that make up the sum total of a raw score. Now imagine you're leaving church together and a fashionable, tall, fit, attractive woman stops and talks with the both of you. You exchange pleasantries and continue about your day. Gentlemen, I introduce to you the standard your wife is now using to make meaning of and interpret the raw score. You're input greatly informs how the raw score is interpreted. The wife is thinking: “There is no doubt in my mind that woman at church is beautiful. She had it all: perfectly styled hair, flawless make-up, tanned legs for days, straight/white teeth that would land her a job as the new poster woman for the American Dental Association… My husband's told me before that he thinks I'm beautiful— just this morning he said I looked 'nice'… but next to her does he see me as ‘that kind' of beautiful… am I the most beautiful women in the world— to him?” Later that night she reluctantly discloses she's been wondering if you thought she was more beautiful than the woman at church. Just as God needs for us to tell him we adore him more than anyone or anything in the world your wife needs to hear you say she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you— after all, we are each made in God's image. Insecurity is not the primary motivation to her question, rather it's her desire to be chosen above all other women (as Christ desires for us to choose Him). If, as her husband, you find you're hesitant or flat out unable to see your wife as the most beautiful woman in the world to you… in that moment lean on the Holy Spirit to speak these affirming words to your wife through you and take note of your disbelief. To speak these words is to provide her with emotional safety and security that symbolizes clean air for her to thrive and breath life into the marriage, children, and the home. It's okay to lean into the Holy Spirit to be your provider and intercede on your behalf— to allow His words to flow through your mouth. This is not a lie or deceitfulness. This is the living, loving, active marriage covenant at work, circling around your strengths, weaknesses, past hurts and ensuring the future vision of you and your wife's marriage/family/ministry is fed and protected. It's crucial for you to: 1) Intentionally go to God, your men's group, and/or seek counseling to discover what's driving your hesitation/disbelief. 2) Take steps toward being able to truthfully see her as the Holy Spirit see's her. 3) Place the crown upon her head as your Queen. “I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown” (Revelations 3:11 NKJV) 4) Experience the rewards of watching your marriage THRIVE and your wife step into the woman God created her to be.

'"BASICS OF SOUTH AMERICAN MONSOON TIME SCALE are proposed&designed by me in 1991 to study the South American monsoon&it's weather problems&natural calamities in advance.Find it's details in all websites/searchengines by searching its name SOUTH AMERICAN MONSOON TIME SCALE BY GANGADHARA RAO IRLAPATI or get by sending your email to me. I urge the world scientists to design&prepare, establish&implement and conduct further researches&developments on this scale and break the mysteries of the South American monsoon. If you want to design&establish the scale, printout the basic empty scales enclosed at the end article and prepare this scale yourself. If you still have trouble in preparing this scale, contact me at my email and take my assistance.Kindly recognize me as the Inventor of South American Monsoon Time Scale by making references in your research papers in lieu of considering my immense efforts&sacrifices I have did for it and my quest to establish&implement South American Monsoon Time Scale to serve the people GANGADHARA RAO IRLAPATI girlapati@aol.com

I did not speak a word of english until I turned 10 years old.That too, I started with basic english sentences such as: "This is a boy, This is an apple, I love apples, This is a cat, This is a dog, A dog has a tail.” These were very basic english sentences. English was not my primary language but when I came to America, I was an adult. By this time I had learnt to communicate in basic english language, but any time I had to express something complicated, I would fumble or become silent. People are very forgiving in the U.S. They always helped, tried their best to not let me feel embarrassed. I concluded that there is no short-cut to solve this problem. I learnt that writing will help me improve my english language learning. I started writing more . Very soon I started to love writing. I was able to express myself and my thoughts in my writing. Writing turned out to pay off a lot. When I wrote, I had enough time to process my thoughts and express them on the paper. I still had a very thick accent. Accents tell you which country you are born in. Beyond country and region, accent also tells us a lot about which social class a person grew up in, their level of education.This can represent a strong bond. I consciously started working on improving my accent.It was my conscious choice to shift my accent towards American english. I wanted to be in the position, where I travel from one end of America to another end, and pass the accent test with as little sniffs as possible. Along the journey of correcting my American accent, I used to listen to the radio a lot. When I am cooking, cleaning, exercising, the radio is always on. Over a few months, I realized that I have improved a lot. I was passively grasping a lot of understanding in dialogue delivery. I can now communicate in a more colloquial way. The more I listened to the podcast, the more I would find flaws in my english speaking skills. I figured, what I was doing was not enough. In the meantime, every now and then I would get that disapproving look because of my accent. I still did not have the neutral American accent, and it caused unhappiness inside my heart. I wanted to sound obvious, so people could recognize me without an effort. I was lagging, but I was still not disheartened. My next strategy was to repeat after the radio hosts. Word by word; sentence by sentence. It was very tiring. I wanted to be the same way as I was. I wanted to just chill and relax without worrying , “what will people think?” Every night in the dark it felt so gloomy and depressing, but thankfully every morning, I would have my confidence back. After 10 months of continuous repetition and practice, it started to show the result. I felt more confident speaking to people.The fear and thought that someone is judging me became less everyday. Now I don't have trouble ordering food in restaurants. I can order exactly what I want. Every now and then I would have the classic set-backs. Accents are a point of connection, and connecting to people was very important to me. Not only me, but all of us are constantly influenced by the people we are surrounded with and that extends to accents too -- any Indian who has moved to America will hear from their own people that they have gone very stylish in their accent, even though they would themselves do the same thing. Even though it happens subconsciously when you intend to change your accent, I have not found anything this difficult to change on purpose. Some Days I have good learning experiences and some days are very bad. I still remember a story where I went to order a salad plate, and I wanted to add Ranch dressing, but I was not clear enough because of my accent. The waiter was too hesitant to ask me again and I realized that I am not saying it right.I finally got the dressing which I did not want, because the waiter had to guess and add something else. When I was in public talking to my friends, I would not hesitate accepting my thick accent flaw, and I would humbly ask them to correct me with the right pronunciation. Most of the time, someone would take super interest in correcting me, but at times I would also get that “look”. However I never mind constructive criticism but for sure these set-backs take you 2 steps backward, I had to remind myself, “I am learning, Mistake is a part of learning.” Now I am at the point, where people rarely guess what I just said. I never gave up. The fact that I was able to master something this hard, makes me proud of myself. I always remind myself, “if I can conquer this challenge, I can win any challenge in life.” I know, mentally it is more taxing to listen to someone with a foreign accent. People had to listen to me more closely to catch the underlying change in tones and stress. I still listen to podcasts and radio channels to constantly improve myself. Un-learning the accent or language you grew up with, is plain "hard", but now I believe you can do it.

Alice fiddled with the latch on her Coach key chain as she sat at her desk waiting for the phone to ring. Why she even bothered, was a whole other story. Of course no one was calling, it was 7 a.m. Everyone knew the corporate big wigs didn't roll out of their martini, steak and hooker fueled hangovers to lug their girth to work until at least 9 a.m. Plus, it was a Friday morning and everyone knew that Thursday nights were the new Saturdays. Still, she had to be there. She was the low girl on the totem pole in the sleek, shiny New Vision offices. Morning phone duty rotated once a month among the youngest assistants and even though she had some age on her colleagues, she was new at this job, having bounced around from temp agencies to sugar daddies throughout her twenties. Yawning loudly (because really, who was listening), she drained the last of her coffee. Last night was epic she thought, but having recently crested over the hill from 29 into 30 it was getting harder and harder to bounce back like she had in her younger years. Eyeing the empty coffee cup, her gaze wandered beyond her cubicle towards her manager's office and then down the hallway where the EVP of human resources enjoyed his pristine corner office digs. For once, she was not lusting after his river view. The break room was situated at the end of that hallway and she desperately craved another cup of coffee. Could she leave her post for no more than five minutes to brew some Green Mountain in the Keurig? It wasn't her grande-nonfat soy latte, but it would do the trick. Toying with the idea while absentmindedly twirling her frosted locks she attempted to distract herself from her exhaustion but it was too overwhelming. Glossing over the stacks of invoices waiting to be entered into a spreadsheet, she ignored the angel on her shoulder; that had morphed into the voice of her obnoxiously chipper millennial manager stressing just how important morning phone duty is. “The markets are open across the globe at all hours; it is pivotal that someone is there to field calls and direct any messages to the EVP as soon as possible...Your role, though small, keeps the company going…blah, blah, blah.” Looking at the devil and praying to the caffeine Gods she sprinted down the hallway. When she returned ten minutes later, having not anticipated a lack of non dairy milk products, she was already pondering her plans for that evening. It was only when she grabbed her phone to jump on Instagram that she noticed the red message light blinking aggressively on the master phone at her desk. She barely noticed as the coffee dripped over the invoices and down the edge of the table.

Last night, I felt impressed to write a letter to the President of the United States of America to share with him three points I needed to get off of my chest. The first point was to thank him and his family for putting our country first. Regardless of political beliefs, President Trump has convinced me that he and his family really do want America to be the greatest country in the world, which is something I can support. The second point was to ask why are there reports stating dead people received COVID-19 stimulus money? How come there is not some sort of regulation in place with the government that cross references social security numbers of those just written on a death certificate to the government agencies that send money? Obviously grieving families do not always tell the IRS or Social Security Administration that their loved one just died. And, let's face it, there are a lot of crooks in the world who do not want these agencies to know a person is dead. The third point I felt like I needed to share with the President of the United States was to ask for his prayers. He and his family appear to be the kind of people who pray to the Christian God, and since that is the same type of faith that I share, I hope he will take the time and utter a quick prayer asking for God's favor to finally shine on my life, so that I, too, will recover from this pandemic. I honestly do not know what else I am going to do if I do not find a job. I know people think that "white privilege" is a real thing. And maybe it is for some, but not for me. Reputable jobs want to check credit. Okay, fine. Just only use my recent North Carolina credit history and ignore everything in Georgia. I barely escaped my home state with my life and the clothes on my back. My former husband knows my social security number and when I left, he made sure to ruin my credit in hopes of forcing me to stay with him. When that did not work and I left anyway, he tried killing me by making it look like an accident (See photo. That story will be told at a later time). If I do not get a job, I do not know what I am going to do. I have worked everyday since I was fifteen years old. I do not know anything but working. I have never even filed for unemployment before now. All of my life, the people in it have told me that I would never amount to anything and would accomplish nothing...I do not want to think that they are right. That the decisions I have made in my short forty-four years on this planet were all for naught, especially on that first day when I wake up with zero dollars in my bank account, has made them be able to say, "I told you so". With a future so uncertain, where does one go from here? How does one recover? Hopefully, I will get a job before I need the unemployment benefits. If I cannot finally establish a career because I am discriminated against due to my lack of color, disability, or credit report, then, my back-up plan is that maybe I will receive unemployment benefits which will help supplement my income until I begin the local community college in August and find a part time job on campus. Even though I have over twenty years of experience in the office administrative and legal assistance industry, apparently employers are looking for education as well, which is why I will be getting my degree in Paralegal Technology so that I can pass the State and Federal exams. In the meantime, I plan on writing to help pass my time and keep my mind occupied. And maybe, just maybe, something else will come out of this experience and I will wake up one morning in the near future to realize that I am finally living my America Dream.

Boise, the capital city of Idaho in the United States of America, is a wonderful travel destination. The place is dotted with tree trails, beautiful parks, and historical buildings. Situated at the banks of the river Boise at one end and the Boise foothills at the other end, the city offers a perfect spot for a weekend gateway. There are several things to do in Boise. You can engage in some adventurous activities like cycling, running or trekking along the forest or mountain trails or along with the parks. If you are interested in history, you can visit the museums and Fort Boise. Boise downtown is a perfect place to experience the vibrant life of the city. Flanked with numerous dining chains and eateries, the downtown beams with energy. Boise Art Museum The museum exhibits a stupendous collection of paintings from world-renowned artists, photography and drawings. Several exhibitions are organized at the museum center to display the various art forms. The Art gallery hosts several learning opportunities and educational seminars. Idaho Botanical Garden The Botanical garden of Idaho is situated in Boise. Wide varieties of peonies, rose and iris adorn the garden. You can see several types of cactus and succulents. You can learn about the different types of herbs along with their medicinal benefits. The garden hosts a lovely water garden full of water lilies. In the native plant garden, you can witness the common trees growing across Idaho's landscape. Boise River Greenbelt The Boise River Greenbelt is a scenic place dominated by riverside parks. You can walk or jog along the belt peacefully. It is quite a relaxing place with beautiful scenery. The lush green trees flanked by the flowing river waters provide a blissful feeling. You can also ride your bike along the belt. The Greenbelt is stretched across almost nine miles along the Boise River. It's lovely to watch the quacking ducks and the cackling geese roaming around the greens. World Center for Birds of Prey If you are an ardent bird watcher, then this place is ideal for you. You can watch the birds of prey right in front of your eyes. The Center does a fantastic job to preserve some of the endangered species of birds especially the Peregrine Falcons and the California Condors. You can learn about the habitats of the birds, their food habits and their survival techniques. It is amazing to watch the rare species of birds in the center. Idaho State Capitol Building The building is the home of the Idaho state government. The main attraction of the building is the golden statue of George Washington at the front. It is wonderful to watch the brightly illuminated building in the evening. There is a huge bell in the front of the building replicating The Liberty Bell (located in Pennsylvania symbolizing America's independence). Kathryn Albertson Park The Park is well maintained and is marvelously adorned with the tall trees, sparkling fountains, paved pathways, and flowing streams. You can enjoy a relaxing walk along the paths. The place is quite serene and presents a unique experience during the fall season. Boise State University The university is one of the prominent universities in America. It has more than 190 streams of academics. In addition to offering multiple research and scholarship programs, the University has published several literary works. Albertson Stadium The stadium is located on the campus of Boise State University. It is an outdoor stadium hosting several sports tournaments, especially football. The uniqueness of the stadium is its blue turf and is quite amazing to watch the ground from the spectator's gallery. Fort Boise Fort Boise was initially located along the Snake River, near Parma, Idaho. It was abandoned and then reconstructed at Boise. The fort served as the source for military operations. It hosts a beautiful park with a community center, several tennis courts, and fields for different sports activities. Boise Downtown Downtown is the most energetic place in the city. It has many shops, restaurants, breweries, pubs, cultural and business centers. The place is flanked with crowds enjoying the evening and nightlife of the city. Thousands of people gather in this place during the local festivals. You can indulge in a vibrant life at Downtown and rejuvenate yourself. There are several other parks, memorial halls, historical museums, art galleries, cathedrals, zoo, trekking trails, animals and bird conservation areas in and around Boise. In winter the place experiences snowfall. Seasonal activities like skiing, ice skating gain prominence. The city of Boise rarely manages to include its name in the list of travel itinerary. But it is quite relaxing to explore the city with its small wonders.

Part III: Are We Blind To It All? Theodore Roosevelt cared. I wish that wasn't a billion times more credit I could give to most presidents. Born into a wealthy family, he somehow grew up to understand class struggle and the fact that people who were just slaves forty years ago weren't going to rise up without the help of their much better off neighbors. Modernizing Jefferson's statement a century prior, “The debasement of the blacks will, in the end, carry with it the debasement of the whites.” Yet again, a prophecy? Yes. Was it acted upon? No. What Teddy was able to accomplish though was the dismantling of multiple corporations, food and drug regulations, and great strides in workers' rights. The crippling imperialism at the heart of this country also starts with Teddy. He cared, but that care couldn't stay domesticated. Yet, no one was a greater threat to the system than Woodrow Wilson. His fourteen points serving as a modern political ninety-five theses that explicitly described the dismantling of colonialism, world peace, open borders, and free trade. He implemented a federal income tax with the top being taxed at 77%, lowered tariffs, and reformed big banks. Wilson was a nightmare to the establishment. As we'll see with all three of the major progressive presidents, there was a catch. Woodrow Wilson was pro-segregation and even let it occur in his own office as he said after firing 15 black federal employees, "There are no government positions for negroes in the South. A negro's place in the corn field." as well as outlawing interracial marriage in DC. His excuse? It was in the manner of “If you keep them apart there's no possible way there could be any racial tension”. Was that true? The lynching postcards, race riots, and theatrical release of “Birth of a Nation” would all say otherwise. His policies would cause a massive economic boom though. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. On May 31st, 1921 a race based massacre would demolish the richest black community in the country, Greenwood. On October 24th, 1929 the wealthiest nation in the world would collapse. Part IV: What Have We Become? Franklin Delano Roosevelt ran the country for 12 years and didn't waste a second of it. The New Deal immediately struck at the structure that had been ironically keeping America down. The housing act, social security, wealth tax, major bank reform, and Wagner act. Eleanor championed civil rights while Franklin wrote in an executive order that outlawed race based employment. FDR oversaw a new America, one able to escape a Great Depression due to a great revelation. It was beautiful. Oh sorry, there is a catch. After Pearl Harbor, it was ordered that over 100,000 Japanese-Americans had to stay in camps during a time known as Japanese Internment due to terror induced impulses. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” he said. “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!”, so what did JFK do exactly? Well, Frank Zappa sums it up perfectly with “What's there to live for, who needs the Peace Corps?” as the warmongering Kennedy had every American fearing for their lives on a daily basis. He never got to see the escalation of the Vietnam War. Now the question is, who would get to see its end? Richard Nixon was swept up by political theater. A man of restoration, peace, and development quickly destroyed by a stupidity that hid deep inside him. Desegregation, peaceful ties with China, strides in medicine, deescalation of the cold war, and attempts to fix the fractured middle east all swept away because of three things. Kissinger, the fact that strategy is nothing in the face of politics, and Watergate. A scandal that still stands as the largest blemish on Nixon's record over nonstop wars erupting in the area he sought to repair most and United States backed state backed terrorism: the ultimate proxy. Ronald Reagan was an existential crisis. A conservative hero who gave amnesty to 3 million immigrants, a Capitalist that backed the Khmer Rouge, a war on drugs while selling cocaine to fund a fraudulent arms deal. Reaganomics destabilized the markets and budget while we try it again. He proved that the people could become nothing and that's exactly what we did.

Part I: Were We Always Like This? What William Basinski saw on September 11th, 2001 was a government epiphany. It's easy to say there's a clear difference between pre and post 9/11 American societies simply due to heightened airport security that should have been there in the first place. America's history for the last half of a century shows no difference though, there was just now something tangible to justify it. It wasn't the “Spreading of communism” which makes you wonder why we were bombing rice farmers with zero concept of socioeconomics into oblivion. It was now “They flew planes into the World Trade Centers and also have weapons capable of mass destruction” while carefully forgetting to mention where those weapons may have come from. It's hard to believe, but there was a time where America wasn't distorted by corporation friendly politics and an undying love for showing everyone just exactly what “Democracy” means. The Revolutionary War still stands as the easiest to explain conflict in our history, it's clear as day. Americans wanted their independence from a tyrannical government so they fought through buckets of blood for it. Yet, there is something often lost in discussion. It wasn't all just a bunch of random men ready for a brutal fight against a massive British army, they were backed by powerful French and Spanish armies as well. That's always been our persona though, a bunch of stray idiots who just happen to hold all of the world's power in their palm without question. Bush humanized that. There seems to always be a layer to American History, including the dark irony that while fighting for freedom, slavery was huge and we we're consistently taking away the freedoms of Natives. Nobody can tell The United States what do though. Thomas Jefferson couldn't even stop himself as he called slavery “The greatest threat to the survival of the new nation” while owning upwards of 200 slaves. A prophecy? Yes. Was it acted upon? No. The War of 1812 was caused by the United States trading with France when Britain said not to. Conflict over conscience. We only converge when surrounded by blood. Part II: What Do We Stand For? There was a time when half of the country fought to keep blacks enslaved and it is somehow surprising that the same country may still mistreat that population. The bloodiest conflict in our nation's history still, Jefferson was right. 163 years before we elected the definition of incompetent after having a president who had great character, but ultimately failed in his seat of office, there was Franklin Pierce and James Buchanan. The former was a anti-abolitionist people pleaser who couldn't do anything for a fracturing nation while the latter was just an obnoxious centrist that literally both bought slaves as well as freed them and couldn't help a single soul if he wanted to. Then the unanimous saint of America came into office. Abraham Lincoln would cause the south to recognize the 10th amendment to its limits and to a much larger extent, their disgusting practice was actually in danger. Law was entirely in the south's favor and believing they would notice the moral horrors of slavery was a political pipe dream. So it happened, we actually had to fight a devastating war over something that had been outlawed by our allies for decades or even centuries. We've never been the ultra progressive society that we love to portray. It goes far beyond our current president. The Emancipation Proclamation was signed on January 1st, 1863. I wonder if there were political commentators back then saying black people shouldn't fear for their lives just because a piece of paper was signed. Regardless, the slaves were legally free. Where would they go and what did they have? Nowhere and nothing. They had to stay in the same place that just saw them as property and lesser beings. To make matters worse, Lincoln was assassinated and replaced by the bigoted Andrew Johnson. A man who halted reconstruction to such a degree that he was impeached although for whatever reason they just couldn't remove him nor would the greatest heel dragger in political history resign. It would take 36 years after Lincoln's death to get another leader of his caliber. Before Bush, there was another cowboy that shifted American politics forever.

Between war, negative life circumstances, depression and my dreams which one will win? You will be an important person, an American soldier told me. Alone in the jungle, I am freezing, I am hungry, I am afraid. There is a lot of blood. Let me hide. There are dead bodies. What's going on? I do not know where I am. I am lost, I am afraid of Dracula. The Bush is moving, it might be a lion, not maybe a tiger or cheetah. Oh my God, I am too young to die. Anyway, I am not ready to die. Come on, dying at this age. I just totalized 11 years old one week ago. “I am screaming mom, dad, where are you? Like ten times”. My parents are not responding. I am hearing some noise, it is a roar. How did I get in a jungle? All these thoughts in my head, let me take a nap and maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I remembered Mama once said to me “jo never ever forget to pray before sleeping" in my prayer I thought God to bring back my parents and help me remember what happened? I found a tree where there was a little bit moon shadow far away from those dead bodies. I decided to force myself to sleep despite it was cold. In my dream, my mom and dad calling my name I am alone in the jungle. It was all dark. ''They found me and mom asked me why am I alone and crying?" "I told them I am lost, and I was looking for you". "'My dad told me don't cry any more, my son". "You are the son of a leader who will be a leader". "He said son remembered you have my blood." "I gave you everything u need". "Life is going to be difficult but if you are keeping working hard and praying". "One day you will be successful and make us proud". "Life took us away from you, but we are watching over you and just know we love you". After that, I saw a person with a bright shadow appearing and tell them the time is up. My mom and dad hugged me for the last time, and they disappeared. Directly I woke up in the jungle early in the morning, I thought about my dream, but I realised what happened yesterday was a bad dream. instead, it is a reality; I am a child turned a man. So, I decided to find a way out or find where people are. I started walking, walking without resting and I didn't eat. I kept walking until I saw a river. I was thirsty so I decided to drink water from the river, and it tastes like salt, but I had no choice. Then I had a pen and a small paper in my pocket, but I don't know where it was from. the pen I had in my pocket just felt down in the river. It started flowing and I decided to follow the pen as I followed the pen, I saw a girl running so I decided to follow her. By following her, I saw there was a kind of armed soldiers I never saw before after her, so I decided to run smartly behind them to discover what is going on? Then I saw one of the soldiers getting out of the car and took her by force, so I was behind the remaining soldiers. I saw the soldier who was before her, trying to take off her clothes so she is shouting leave me alone and I thought they want to rape her.

jbeast is a student studying at byu Idaho. i am LDS church's member. i love writing,doing sports and studying. i have a lot to speak and i believe i can change the world.

My lovely Universe, it is crazy to be writing in this space today. It feels like the start of something new. But I am here to write how my life has changed since I felt your presence. How often you let me know about yourself when a warm and pleasant wind touches my hair reminding me about the moments of enjoyment or when a light sunbeam makes me wake up to start a new day. I always recognize you. You talk to me, and our conversation remains interesting, eternal and emotional. It is time when I am ready to say thanks for all things and situiations I have passed through to become who I am right now. Thank you for a tough adventure of “home” girl. You should remember when I was trying all possible ways to enter one of the prestigious university of Russia. And I had depression, because I saw how my parents were looking forward to my test results, but it was so hopeless. I thought it had been the biggest failure in my life. In fact, the end of my story was move to Almaty, a city that taight love and hate go hand and hand sometimes. I was starving because I did not have enough money to buy some food; I was looking for a job, but every time I found one, the employers would find many reasons not to hire me. I had no idea what I was going to do; I started to give up... But suddenly my sister announced me about my father who was in hospital with emergency. I was shouting and crying as I could not help my family anyhow. Hating everything around, I did not realize how my life would be filled by people, who supported and helped me not to lose faith in the best future. Thank you for American adventure, a time of stepping outside of my comfort zone. America it is another and more fascinating story of my life. If someone had told me, that I would be in America, meet new friends and see Empire State Building, I would have never believed it. Thoughts are material, are not they? I wanted and I did it. It was a tough time when I was searching all ways to find some money for my trip. That is why, I borrowed 1400$ from my parents, friends and other people. But that time I was pretty sure, that everything would be alright. As a result, I heard important words: “ Your visa is approved” and I was ready to begin my new chapter of life. If someone invented a time machine, I would definitely go back to the time when I worked at Hersheypark. I met friends, who could make hookah and sang songs of Kendrick Lamar. As a young girl from small town, I wanted to learn how to enjoy every moment. Standing on the escalator at Penn Station in New York, I was thinking about people who hanker to be in my shoes. I won a great chance to look at huge sizes of skyscrapers and hear many languages of the world. After all challenges I have passed through, I am sure, it is worth it. Thank you, lovely Universe, for feeling of love. Moreover, I experienced of love. How many times did I ask you about my true love, which would help to find all answers to my questions? I told you I would be waiting for my “loved one” as long as it takes. I was silly by thinking about man, who did not appreciate my concern, support and me as a woman. It is sad and happy story about one couple who were looking for each other and thinking that they made a right choices. In many cases, people confuse the feeling of love with the fact that they want to take shelter from loneliness. They think how is great to be with person who loves you just the way you are. However, do we love the same way? I have found the answer: no. I was ready to give everything I had, be with him no matter what happened and love him to the moon and back. When someone asks me, what is love? My answer will be a strong heartbeat, glitter in my eyes and smile on my face. Love is ability to share your privacy, not to be afraid to show own shortcomings, let someone know about your funny and embarrassing stories from life. Since I made the right choice, I have been asking you to make him dissapear from my thoughts. I want to forget everything like a terrible nightmare, but I am way too good at goodbyes. What do you know about another love like a mother who loves her child? I would like to tell about one kid and family, which have played a sagnificant role in my life. Universe, you showed me how much I could love baby as mine. His parents give him everything what he wants. Lucky kid, actually. I taught him how wishes could come true, how belief could become a powerful force to go ahead. After playing Mortal Combat and watching Snapchat filters with him, I wanted for that moment to last forever. If someone asks me about love again, I will advise giving all warmth and care to kids because they have not known about dissapointment and failures yet. I lost one feeling and got another, a better one. And I have no idea what you have already prepared for me, but I am sure you are kind to me. Take care,Universe Your Dreamer.