I lost my job in August of 2020, I was working at a medical supply warehouse that provided home medical goods to patients that were coming home from the hospital and I thought for sure with the pandemic my job was basically set. Apparently I was wrong as the company that I worked for had other ideas and decided that the department that I worked in, Customer service, a.k.a. pushing hospital beds and oxygen for all the patients being released to go home and either sink or swim from Covid 19, decided that they were going to be transferring the department to the home location located in Philadelphia. As I was in Chicago, I had no choice but to pack a bankers box with my desktop decorations and meager belongings and trek out to my car in tears at loosing yet another job at one of the worst possible times that I could think of, the company that I worked for in their infinite kindness explained that my medical insurance would be terminated at the end of the month, which was only four days from my firing date, and that I was not going to be getting any severance package as I was hired on January 6th 2020 and I would have had to have been there prior to the New Year to have qualified for a severance package. I asked if there was any other department that I could be transferred to in the company that was going to be allowed to stay, accounting or sales as I had worked in both of those departments in my almost 20 years of prior office experience, and I was told there was nothing available. In other words, the head of Customer Service had already placed her friends in the available positions and that was that. Without insurance and without income, if I was to get Covid, I was going to be in some big trouble. I went straight home, I did not pass go, I did not collect $200 dollars; I went directly home and got online. First I applied for unemployment, and then I applied for Medicaid. I spend the rest of the afternoon updating my resume, crying and wishing I knew Bill Gates and could call for a loan. I immediately signed up for an online course for Covid tracer at John Hopkins and took that course right away. Okay, I got that under my belt, I added that to my resume. I took a CPR course, First Aid, and an OSHA Bloodborne Pathogens course, got certified and put those on my resume, I took the Google Project Manager Courses (6 month course I packed into 5 ½ weeks) and got certified and added those on my resume, sent out over 100 copies of my resume and…… Nothing. I never graduated college because I thought why would I need that, I have always had office jobs that kept me afloat. I know every aspect of the office and have always been able to manage and office with no problem. I now seen to be in a hole and there is now possible way out. It feels like evey rope and ladder has been pulled out from the pit and I am desperately clawing at the walls, but my nails are gone and I have no strength left and can find no purchase to pull myself out. I am at a lose as of to what to do. I wrote my Senators the following letters in hopes that maybe this would be my opportunity : Dear Illinois Senators: I know I am worth more to society dead and in pieces than I am alive and whole. For 36 years I have been wanting out, I do not fear death and after the past few years and seeing how we treat each other, it is clear that I really don't have hope for humankind redemption. Mankind is the lowest of the low, we are horrible to each other and we really have no hope for deliverance from ourselves, nor should we. We put ourselves in this position with our consistent fighting and hatred. Whatever, I am trying to make the point, why do I not get the choice to have a Physician assist my exit? I have researched my exit and my options seem to be intentional OD, which is the route I am leaning, an exit bag which at $30 is going to cost a lot less than the amount of heroine it's going to take to bring me down, not to mention, I have never shot or done heroine and I am pretty sure I am going to screw that up, or I could just hope I can drive a car into a wall at a fast enough speed after deploying the airbags because, damn safety features. Whatever route I choose I am sure I will mess it up and then the Government can just pay to keep me alive in a vegetative state until I FINALLY get to the point that I can finally get a Physician to assist in my Death with Dignity. Do you all see where this letter is going? It is bound to happen, so stop blocking it and let it happens so people who need it can stop screwing around and do what needs to be done. Or if that does not work, can I at least have a job? With Hope for My Death, Nicole S.