It started as a normal day. I was working in the library and reached up to put a book on a high shelf. That was when I left the first jab of pain in my side. I was in so much pain that my boss made me go to the emergency room. I went in and laid on a hospital bed, no one came in to see me for a long time. After a while the pain finally went away, the doctor said he couldn't find anything wrong and sent me home. I never told my father I had gone to the emergency room, I just shrugged it off after the pain went away. I had just graduated high school and my dad and I had planned a trip to drive from my home town in Los Alamos, New Mexico up to my new college in Spokane, Washington. I was so disconnected from my body that I didn't even think about the fact that I had been to the emergency room just the day before. I did most of the driving and the pain slowly began to creep back up. By the time we got to Oregon I could barely breath. This was when the pain started and never stopped, and still hasn't after 13 years. My dad was concerned but I didn't tell him the full extent of my pain. He suggested I get a massage while we were in Portland. I had never had a massage before and neither of us had much knowledge of them. I received a deep tissue massage and the pain only got worse. I couldn't drive anymore and I couldn't sleep, the pain was so intense that I could barely think. We got to Eastern Washington University, my new soon to be college and home and I couldn't enjoy it. I tried to walk around the campus and explore, but I was too distracted by my pain. I went back home and sought medical attention. I went to a chiropractor and had x-rays taken. I was told that one of my ribs was misplaced which was causing the pain. I got adjustments and went to physical therapy. The pain persisted. I had planned to work full time at the library during the summer to help save money before I left for college in September. I had no choice now but to quit my job of three years because the physical demand was too much for me. I had planned on driving up to Washington with my car so that I could have it while I was at school, but that was out of the question now after my first trip. I had to fly to up to Washington and take as much as I could in one suitcase. I got school and my entire life was different. I was in a completely new state, a new town and new school where I knew no one. I did the best I could in my classes, but the pain was always in the back of my mind. I had planned to work while I was in school, but it was difficult finding a job that did not require a lot of physical demands that was still flexible. My money started to run out and I knew I had to find work that would not hurt my body further. I ended up getting a job as an Alumni Associate. I took donations from Alumni of the University, it was a difficult job for me, mainly because I was not a sales person and I was not good at persuading people, and again my mind was always on my pain. I joined the gym and took exercise classes but nothing took the pain away. When I got brave enough I went someone in town for another massage. When I described what was going on my massage therapist told me that I might have something called Fibromyalgia. I went to the hospital and they confirmed his theory with the trigger point test. Since then I have labelled myself as having Fibromyalgia, I don't know if it's better or worse with my condition having a name. The doctor prescribed me Lyrica, and sleep medication, none of which really worked for me, in fact it just increased my depression and anxiety instead of helping with my pain. I also didn't want to constantly take over the counter pain medication since it wasn't really helping either. So I resolved to not take anything and simply deal with it as it was. About the third time I went back to the same massage therapist was the miraculous massage that cured my pain. I was finally okay again. I was pain free for all of a month. Then I went back home for winter break to visit my dad. We were out in a parking lot and I slipped on some ice, the pain came back all at once. I tried to go back to the same therapist, but he was never able to take the pain away again. It has been there ever since. It has been so long now since I have had this pain that I can't remember what it is like to not have it. It has been 13 years now and I have never found a cure no matter how hard I try. I feel like there must be a reason for all of my pain. I hope that I am meant to do something important with the knowledge and insight my pain has given me. Even though I have not found a cure for my pain, I hope that I am able to help others in some way and make a difference in peoples lives by telling my story and doing everything I can to discover a cure for chronic pain and Fibromyalgia and once I do that and I am able to heal myself I will be able to help others heal as well.