The darkness began to envelop me. "I flailed around, trying to move my body, but it was heavy as if bound; water filled my lungs gradually, and my breaths disappeared." "Flames clung to my clothes, and my body felt hot, trembling violently with my screams. The fire devoured my limbs and spread through my body as if it possessed it. I was in indescribable pain. I lost consciousness, watching my burning hands while writhing, trying to push the fire away. My life flashed before my eyes, and then the pain vanished." "I was unpacking the last box in our new apartment, and now I could see the entire place. We had officially moved. As I wandered around, I noticed something odd halfway through the room; the sound of my footsteps changed. I continued stomping the floor to confirm the sound, but my thoughts were interrupted by my little brother screaming my name. I turned and saw the fan about to fall. Indeed, it did. My brother cried loudly. Thank God for him, or I would be dead now. The fan shattered the floor. Something caught my eye in the sand beneath the floor. I pulled out a wooden box." "My brother ran out as soon as he heard the door because our mother had arrived. She entered with a look of sorrow. I asked what was wrong, but she didn't answer. I think she concluded the electrician didn't secure the fan properly." "I tried to open the box in my room, but to no avail. I got tired and went to bed. I closed the window and fell into a deep sleep. I woke up feeling cold from the window. I curled up under my blanket, too tired to close it. I went back to sleep but was startled by a loud noise in the room. I tried to get up, but my body felt glued to the bed, unable to move. The noise continued for about two minutes, and I didn't realize when I fell asleep again." "I woke up in a good mood but then remembered the night. The window was wide open. I was sure I had closed it. I always opened it only from one side. I got up and stepped on something. I looked down and saw the box was broken. Fear took over me until I spotted a beautiful necklace inside. It was a red heart-shaped gem on a chain. I also found a book, but it was in poor condition, with burnt edges." "Several peaceful days passed, but I was puzzled by my family's behavior and their neglect, as well as my mother's sadness. It seemed my uncle was sick again." "I was in the bathtub, upset, having overheard my aunt wanting to get rid of me to inherit my father's wealth, especially since my mother had passed away. Minutes later, my aunt opened the bathroom door, grabbed my head, and dunked it in the bathwater, holding it there before letting go. She looked at me triumphantly and left. She also took my necklace." "I sat on the bed with a candle and a book about the Pharaohs. Tutankhamun's tomb had been discovered, so I decided to read a historical book until the discovery was broadcasted. As I read, the candle fell on me, and I started to burn. I screamed in pain until my parents came in and put out the fire. I suffered severe burns, but it wasn't as bad as I thought." "The past few days felt like years. Sleep eluded me, and food no longer reached my mouth. Nightmares haunted me even when awake. I saw a girl burning, another drowning. I realized the necklace and book were connected to what I saw. When I tried to read the book, I dozed off, hearing screams all night. The necklace whispered my name, and the window always opened wide." "I threw the necklace at the mirror, breaking it. The sunlight disappeared, and my room became desolate. A girl entered; she was the one drowning in my dreams. She picked up the book and tossed it at the wall, which swallowed it. Another girl entered; she was the one on fire. She held up my picture with a black ribbon. I realized my fate would be like theirs. Why are we here?" "Death played its role quickly. I was betrayed by those closest to me. This house was our grave and the path to our return or just one of us. The house has a portal to the world of the living, allowing only one to pass. Our struggle will be fiercer than that of humans, as each of us longs to feel her heart beat again. The portal will determine who wins days in the world and who remains lamenting her fate. As much as the suffering has been, so will the struggle to escape. Fate is determined in the blink of an eye."

Children are the most affected by war. In a war-torn zone, the trauma children undergo will live with them until the day they die. The trauma induced is deep-rooted and healing from the effects of war is never easy or most often than not, out of the question. Ultimately, the consequences of war related trauma will require precautionary measures as cure is never attainable. Children who has survived the worst of wars will need special attention and aid. Imagine hearing the bomb sirens or gunshots or worse, watch a building crumble right before your eyes. Imagine watching people killed or dying, or writhing in pain from wounds. The pain of the whole situation will numb a young mind to silence. I don't think these children will ever be able to interact amicably with another human after witnessing the horrors of war. How do we treat children who has seen the worst of wars and suffered as a consequence? First, we must accept that children of war are mentally affected by the situation they are thrust into. The psychological effects are massive and often these children withdraw into their own shell due to the frightening situation. Their need to explain even to themselves the results of war can have dire consequences in their actions towards those they love. They become hateful and distrusting of the world around them. In order to help them overcome the difficult transition to lead a normal life as best as they can, the caregivers must be patient with their behavioral patterns. A psychiatrist treating the child will tell you how difficult it is to get them to speak about their trauma. Instead of coming out with their fears, they often hide their feelings of insecurities and fright and try to avoid human connection. They will find it hard to interact with outsiders with the exception of their family members. Often, in the long run, the children blame their elders and family members for the trauma of war they face. They will want someone to blame themselves. Why the war? Effective treatments like trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapies and narrative exposure therapy are available, however, family support will ultimately play a crucial role in helping children recover fully or to the extent that they can forget for a while. Children need love and a good environment to nurture their growth and look forward to a full life. It is an abhorrence to have them experience war and live to regret the chances they have missed to grow out their childhood and to understand the horrific way their lives have unfolded. At least for the love of a child, wars should end and peaceful negotiations given preference. No matter what it takes, choose peace against war. We wouldn't want to partake in ruining the lives of our children to gloat over the power of being victorious, now do we? Wars won are never a victory at the expense of even one child. The End. (This essay was first accepted for publication in the December'23 online issue by Welter@University of Baltimore. https://blogs.ubalt.edu/welter/digital-lit-current-issue)

Early spring… We went to work to other region with my brothers. We settled in a house in the suburbs. All was going well. But unexpectedly, the whole world imposed a strict quarantine. And we had to stay there for several weeks. At first, it seemed very scary, because it was impossible to get further than a hundred meters from home. Roads which connect cities and districts were also closed. I was also afraid of contact with strangers and going shopping, because I knew the disease was very infectious. To be honest, it was a bit difficult to get used to this situation. We continued our work in the village as soon as the situation calmed down. On weekends, we used to go to the forest near our house. This quarantine was different for everyone. Some people slept with pleasure, some engaged in their hobbies, and others worked remotely. But older people were more worried about their health. To tell the truth, terrible news about disease scared people more than itself. Because hearing bad news about relatives made the situation worse. And it caused depression. In the background of these panics, the price of food products increased. This made the living conditions of people even more difficult. But Easterners have such a tradition that they do not abandon their relatives or people around them in this kind of situation. The rich people of our neighborhood provided poor people with food. The difficulties have passed, and the virus has cured. But love and warmth remained. People have overcome it all together. OK, let's put other things aside. Dear reader, let me briefly tell you about what this quarantine gave me. This short period of quarantine has taught me to love my family and live every moment with joy, no matter where or in what situation. And taught me to think correctly about every moment of life. The saddest memory of this quarantine was my grandmother's death.

In 2016 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease - Celiac. At age 18, the concept that pizza, bread, and pasta, would now essentially kill me, seemed to be the craziest thought in the world. Five years later as the world lives in constant fear/avoidance of a pandemic, that fear of my own "new normal," is long past. Instead, I believe it prepared me for a Covid-19 in ways I never could have imagined. _____ You never expect to be diagnosed with a life-changing illness, but you expect it far less in your first month of college. It was not easy. I spent months trying to understand how to avoid this thing called, 'gluten,' and navigating how much cross-contamination I could handle (hint: the answer was, 'none.') Overtime, across the months that followed, I became accustomed to checking every ingredient-list, cross-examining every waiter/chef, and carrying along with me an emergency supply of 'safe foods.' I began to move from a stance of uncertainty at the unknown to one of survival and coping. I slowly moved from fear, to hope, navigating a "new normal." When you can get sick from literally everything around you (sometimes even through the air you breathe) life takes on a new meaning. Sick-days were inevitable, and asking clarifying questions about what sorts of accommodations I'd find at the other end of a journey, became commonplace in my world. I became very accustomed to saying "no" to stay safe, and avoiding anything that may have touched the dreaded gluten. In short, I lived life with something deadly all around me, and I learned to cope again, live again, and even enjoy life again. In the process, I learned to trust. To trust myself, to do what I had to, to keep my body safe. To trust that this 'new normal,' was not the end of the world. To trust that His plan was, and is, greater than mine. What I didn't realize, was that this was all to prepare me. This photo is from my "last minute of normal," on a missions trip, in March of 2020. What I mean, really, is my last moment of what was already MY "new normal." The last moment of my life where my own gluten-related fears were the worst part of my world. The last moment of my life when I would feel guilty for wearing a mask if there were gluten around me that could make me sick, or where I would have to apologize for missing class due to being so sick. The last time I would have to watch as I seemed to be the only one who noticed if someone didn't wash their hands between touching something else, and making my food. The last time I would ever wonder if anyone else knew how terrifying it can be to know that there is literally something that could kill you, all around you. Most of all, it was the last time I would ever consider Celiac to be the disease that changed my way of life the most. I've been thinking a lot, lately, about just how much Celiac prepared me for Covid-19. See, Celiac was a reminder for me of so many things. It reminded me that life is short and should be lived to the fullest. It was a reminder that I am not invincible, and that I cannot rest on my strength, alone. It was what reminded me the most of the promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9: "But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me." During 2020, and now 2021, many of us have been reminded of the truth of that verse. It is easy to just dwell on the after of Covid-19 - on how incredibly difficult the past two years have been for so many. However, I think there is something beautiful about what God taught me through Celiac, and in that last-minute before... Psalm 46 states, “There is a River whose streams make glad the city of God.” In the midst of a passage about desolation, the roaring of the waters and quaking of the earth, wars, and a reminder that God is our help in times of trouble, there is that short sweet reminder. There is a River. There is gladness. There is a city of God. I see that in this photo. I think of what it was like to sit there, by the water, and soak in God's presence on land dedicated to doing the work of the Lord. God used those moments “before,” (in my 'during') as a time to quiet my heart and mind, reminding me that, in the midst of a season where I'd have to remember that He is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble, there is, also, gladness, peace like a river, and the city of God. There...is...hope. Celiac reminded me to find strength through Christ, alone. Covid-19 reminded me that strength is found only in His presence. Someday, each of us will find we are in the last minute of our time on earth - our own "normals." What will we each be doing when that moment comes? What would be our final legacy? My prayer is that “in His presence” would be my answer. Will it also be yours?

It was a chill morning of late March, loud rumbles and cracks woke me up at 6 AM, which is too early of my routine these days. The natural sound of a thunderstorm made me fully conscious and I drew near the window. While gazing out at the torrential downpour through my window, there was only one thought in my mind. "What to do today?" A billion plans raced through my mind as the clouds roared outside the window. It was the first week after the Government had imposed lockdown in my city Quetta. For the vast majority of us, they were strange and unprecedented times; this forced isolation was an occasional, albeit annoying part of life. In quarantine, the drastic changes to my routine life as a teacher and science journalist forced me to alter my social habits and re-evaluate relationships. The lockdown has quite made us retreat into a bubble−but a digitized bubble. From virtual parties to e-conferences and online learning courses to webinars, more and more sectors and areas of life are coming around to the realization that work-from-home, works well. COVID-19 has genuinely been a silent enemy that has leveled global societies and uncovered just how vulnerable we truly are as a species. Despite these challenges, one can spend quality time in lockdown and self-isolation. I found it an excellent chance to concentrate on some of my long-delayed tasks nearly impossible to achieve in routine chores. I bought dozens of books during my recent visits to Karachi and Lahore but could hardly get a chance to fitly arrange them on my bookshelf. That day when dark clouds were hovering all over the sky, I sat beside my bookshelf, and by the lunch, I had sorted out all the books that I had to read. It was a great treat to delve into an exciting book on a rainy day with a hot cup of coffee. In the evening, while skimming through 'Never at Rest', the meticulously documented biography of Isaac Newton, by Richard Westfall, I realized that what's specious was the idea to spend these days in some creativity. Isaac Newton fled to Whoolsthrope, a small town near Cambridge University when Bubonic plague hit the Cambridge in 1665. There, in complete solitude, Newton produced an unbelievable number of exceptional ideas of Calculus, Analytical Geometry, Gravity, Science of motion, optics, and many more. As a researcher by birth, I was curious to know how everyone was facing the challenges of work-at-home and life under quarantine. I reached out to a few intellects in my social circle who happened to be of the thought that the situation was quite manageable if one was determined and focused. Later, I discussed it with my friends and colleagues, and they found this idea fabulous. We decided to publish a booklet on the theme, "Being a professional in the pandemic." It was another daunting task to pick whom to interview because each of us had different interests and favors. I spent all day long attending WhatsApp calls and had late-night discussions with colleagues on Zoom. As a team lead, I found it the most challenging experience of my life; most of the team members are budding University students, suffering through anxiety and depression due to quarantine and got annoyed over petty things easily. After some heated debates, we finally ended up with a list of interviewees that included national and international experts from various fields of life. We reached out to around 25 individuals to know how they were staying productive under quarantine despite the chaos surrounding us. It was not that easy as we thought, most of the experts were going through the challenges of work-at-home and could hardly manage time to respond to emails. Soon we realized that everyone around us, whether a scientist or a student, was trying to cope with the new normal in their personal and professional lives, and we needed to stay calm and patient while dealing with the interviewees. As the team lead, these incidents reminded me that it was only a magazine edition; besides, these were the rarest moments to have fun, work hard, make memories, and have no stress about the trivial details. I had setbacks, I could feel the taste of my tongue in my mouth getting panic attacks due to sleepless nights, I could feel each hard-pumping heartbeat of blood travel out my chest when, during a long-awaited e-meeting, my internet got disconnected, and I could hardly manage another chance to interview that expert again. Now looking back four months later, three weeks that we spent interviewing professionals around the globe, were the most memorable days I have ever spent. While this magazine edition might not have gone exactly the way we thought it would, it certainly made those days unforgettable in the best way and taught me some life-long lessons. I believe that it was the most creative way I, along with twenty-two team members of mine, could turn those challenging days into an opportunity and inspiration.