A change in the status quo always comes at a cost. As much as we may complain about boredom and being stuck in a rut, there is a certain security and comfort that routine provides. Few things can boast of changing life on a global level, Covid 19 is one of those things. At first, for me, it was just one of those things you read on the news, then I read that a case had been confirmed in Nigeria and just like that, it went from a distant news to a very real and present threat. The first thing was the fear; I, along with many others, was concerned about the ability of the country to handle it. Although in 2014, Ebola was handled remarkably well, there was no guarantee that this one would be. The next thing was the information overload. From WhatsApp statuses to news stations. It seemed everyone was talking about the Corona virus. There were questions: Where did it come from? A lab? A bat? Something else? Do I just have a cold or is it the virus? There was advice: drink lemon tea, sanitise, take your vitamins, wear your masks, stay six feet away. The third thing was the change; no hugging, no large gatherings and most memorable of all, the lockdown. The things we used to take for granted were now unattainable luxuries. During all this, I had just started my NYSC*, a one year mandatory service for Nigerian graduates and I was posted to a School in Nasarawa state. My means of transportation then was by bus, a crowded bus carrying people who may have been exposed to the virus. There was exchange of money and all forms of unavoidable body contact. I made it through with a mask on my face, a bottle of sanitizer in my bag and a prayer in my heart. There was the weekly Community Development Service meetings, another gathering of people who may have have been exposed to the virus. I made it through the same way. For some reason, not everyone believed there was a virus. They were easy to identify and in typical Nigerian manner, loved to tease those of us with masks. In my PPA*, we tried to enforce the rules but considering we were dealing with primary and Junior Secondary School students, it was almost impossible. I'll never forget when we received the Federal instruction that all schools should shut down in order to enforce the lockdown. It was already exam period and somehow, with a lot of scrambling, we were able to start and finish the end of term exams in three days. Needless to say, our students didn't find it funny. We all went home, thinking life would resume in another month or two. For the first time in my life, I had nothing but time on my hands. All the things I had neglected due to "not having time" were staring at me as I guiltily continued to neglect them. We all tried to adjust to the new normal and naturally, there was a lot of fear and uncertainty. Most devastating of all, was seeing the death toll all over the world and the life long effects on the survivors, The desperation of governments and the heroic sacrifices of health care professionals, The hardship and hunger on the masses due to not being able to work. The unspoken question was, would the world ever recover from this? One thing was proven: Humans are wired to survive. In the midst of all these, I saw a great display of faith as people sought a reason to hope. I saw the fellowship of a community as neighbours shopped for the elderly and vulnerable around them. I saw the kindness of strangers as people contributed cash and kind to alleviate the hardship. Lessons were learned, people vowed to never take a hug for granted again. We were forced to slow down and spend time with our own selves and our loved ones. I saw the truth as I realised, along with everyone else that nothing in life is guaranteed. Unforeseen circumstances can pop up at any time bringing welcome and unwelcome change. So, the time to love, the time to appreciate, the time to forgive, the time to act, is now. In my part of the world, the lockdown lasted six months and the death toll wasn't very high. For the most part, life as usual has resumed. In areas where it hasn't, we survive. One day at a time. *** NYSC: National Youth Service Corps PPA: Place of Primary Assignment.

“Ayushi, could you wait back?” Mr. Bhati, our economics professor stops me from leaving the class for the period break. “We expect great things from you. Continue to work hard. I believe you can top the state and get the highest in economics this year.” ‘Sir, I will try my best.' I was the promise made eagerly, broken promptly. Dopamine, the pleasure hormone, is released not only after an achievement but also much earlier, in anticipation of it- A lesson I learned last week from Dr. Robert Sapolsky's lectures on neuroscience but one, my subconscious has always known. The reason this happens, Dr. Sapolsky explained, is that the dopamine release acts as a bait to encourage hard work towards success for more. I had chanced upon a shortcut- finding satisfaction in the multiple mini releases, never striving harder for better. I didn't last anywhere near the top. Instead, I was so nervous during the economics exams, I missed the last question. I wrote such elaborate first few answers that I felt short of time towards the end. ‘I knew everything but didn't keep track of time,' I repeat after being awarded the GMAT's penalty on not finishing a section. Twice. A stellar employee makes a major blunder in the second project she leads as an analyst. Yes, me. I crushed on my best friend for over four years, only to break up in a week fearful of the insecurities that started to pop up. He cares, he cares not. What if I start liking someone else? Will I be a cheat? Then and since, as I repetitively failed expectations, I also developed an acute phobia towards commitment. Almost chick, never chicken. Instead, the remains of an unfertilised piece of egg excreted monthly, promising potential, never promise! I didn't make it big. I didn't make it. Instead, I quit the job and made it back to my parent's house hoping to find something I was good at and happy to do. Two years and three jobs later, I am working with my sister to create a utilitarian art brand, still here, in my parent's house. We were starting to do well when COVID hit. Confused, scared with no clarity about the future. The extra hours and limited distractions struck at the rusting pendulum. Oscillating between the regrets of the past and ever-so dreadful ‘expectations' from the future, for once, I am struggling to gain a foothold in the present. Refreshing IG feed every hour no more transforms into an hourly wallow of self-pity looking at friends traveling or getting promoted. The world hit pause and now, most everyone is working from home, cooking, and reading. I fight temptation, delete IG to work, and work on myself. In those hours of uninterrupted introspection, I finally made the long-awaited tear-jerker of a ride 12 years back to when I was made to take accountancy, commerce, and Mr. Bhati's economics as my electives instead of biology, chemistry, and physics because father thought I wasn't dedicated enough to pursue medicine. I had not worked hard enough since. I don't know what contributed more to that prophecy. His words. My rebellion. Both. Sitting on the floor leaning on the wall closest to the router, I type a cover letter to what could have been an application to a med school until my ass hurts and my eyes burn. Desperate to compensate for the last decade, I spent the first few weeks of the lockdown learning to speak in French, cook, garden, write and invest. Days passed, became weeks. The initial enthusiasm started to wane because there was a lot of learning but as many results. I realized I was getting better at things I learned by doing like cooking, unlike those I learned passively about. I had to converse in French. I had to type, scribble, jot. Not just read books on it. Anything is easier read than done. Attempting to do everything, I wasn't doing anything well. I had to streamline my subjects. Call it greed, I chose to start with investing and designing. Impatient to recover all the past losses, I started out to make a few mistakes, costly ones but slowly I am learning to pick better quality companies. We are creating better designs for our art brand too, some that inspire for a happier present, others in the hope of a better future. Now, when someone asks me what I do for a living, I won't mumble that I am a Chartered Accountant and a CFA, distracting them with my academic qualification. As I think back to the still very empty bank account and the room I continue to inhabit in my parent's house, I now have hope. With every unrealized gain I make on the investments and with every positive feedback we get on our designs, I stand a little bit taller, my eyes smile a little bit wider. If tomorrow, I wake up to hear that quarantine has ended, I might not jump out of bed with excitement. After a long shower and a slow breakfast, when I step outside, it will be with equal amounts of hope and dread that the unknown brings. The world would have changed. I would have changed too. For the better.