Is it just me or does the thought of going on a cruise ship immediately make you think of the part of "The Life Aquatic" where they get boarded by pirates or the scene in the "Titanic" where Leo is chained to a pipe and water is rising up around him? Knowing my luck, I would be on the cruise ship that was boarded by pirates while it was sinking and be somehow trapped in the room with the pipes. Cruise ships are a hard pass. Is it just me or does the thought of your neighbors being upset with your chickens make you wake up at 6:30 in the morning just to run outside and "shush" them while they strut around the coop screeching/boasting about the eggs they just laid or the eggs they're planning on laying, and then when that inevitably doesn't work you end up giving them all of your rice cakes so they don't wake up everyone in a 3 mile radius, but the thought of getting rid of said chickens makes you nauseous with guilt? Is it just me or is that sound outside probably a murderer? Is it just me or are these WEB MD diagnoses making it sound like I either have the common cold or the bubonic plague? No inbetween. Is it just me or do awkward moments in a TV show or a movie cause you to get up and leave the room with excuses like, "I have to go pee, you don't have to pause it for me," or " I am going to make 5 batches of cookies, leave it on, I can watch from the kitchen," ? Shows like "Extras" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" are basically reasons for me to get things done around the house so I can avoid seeing other people make asses out of themselves. Is it just me or should we give these pickled beets I canned last summer to someone else so they can act as my poison tester. If they don't die after eating them then maybe I will open the other can. But what if they lied about opening them just so I wouldn't be upset that they hadn't yet? Or what if THAT jar was fine but MY jar is actually filled with botulism? Is it just me or is it too late to become that kind of parent that doesn't give their kids screens? And if I take screens away do I have to replace it with something? Or can they just figure that shit out themselves? Is it just me or is my Memoji prettier than I am in real life? Is it just me or did that prescription commercial just quickly list about 500 ways it could kill me, making me want to remember the name of it just so I can tell my doctor what I DON"T want should I ever develop the ailment that those middle aged, white collar, housewives had? Is it just me or did the cat puke in my sandals on purpose? Is it just me or did I say that thing that one time and everyone still remembers it and probably hates me? Is it just me or...?

Don't Stop Rock With It!!! Awesome words spoken by the illustrious Uncle Luke. This last year I have been separated from my husband of over 20 years. We gave it a good run, however in the end our selfishness and stubbornness won and the marriage we didn't each put 100% in blew up. It blew up in a cloud of black smoke, that wafted mild violence, tears, hurt, betrayal and just plain old ugliness. Real stinky stuff. I now realize we were always doomed for failure. Why? Because although we had the best intentions and loved and even liked one another. We were mainly just using one another, attempting to achieve having the perfect Brady Bunch, Leave it to Beaver family facade we grew up watching on television. Our attempts to make our black children not the stereotypes so often associated with black folk and our attempt to be the best black parents ever took presidence over being the best husband and wife ever. Instead of building us. We built models for Boy and Girl Scouts. Instead of saving for our future. We spent money to live in homes outside our means, pay for soccer clubs and golf camps. So that our children would be in a greater position to prosper. Sometimes, mainly when I look at my children or when I look at other seemingly happy families, I miss what we had. What we wanted. What we needed. What we both longed for and went about achieving in all the wrong ways. But for the most part, and I do feel guilty about this. (lol guilty should be my middle name) I feel HAPPY. Guilty-Happy, but happy none-the-less. Guilty-Happy that I am at peace. Guilty-Happy that I love that it's just my 14-year old and I in our little house. Guilty-Happy that I don't have to answer to a man. Guilty-Happy that I can purchase my thrift store finds without getting the stink eye. Guilty-Happy that I got a promotion with a 25% raise. Guilty-Happy that I've met a guy who's my equal. Guilty happy that I am THRIVING AND NOT JUST SURVIVING. Yes, Indypendence!! Don't Stop Get It; Get!! Don't Stop; Rock With It!!