Life has been a fairytale

Hurricane? Pandemic? When is it going to end? I can never get a break. This maddening situation is endless and it is crucial that I find a way out. It all started with the weather. On September 1st 2019, winds of destruction and waters of abduction invaded my beautiful princess known as Grand Bahama. It was the worst hurricane she has ever seen. We've heard her cries and her screams. She was in ruins. She was screaming agony. 90% of her was in ruins yet she was strong through it all. We, her servants, felt her pain. Our homes and our life has been destroyed yet through it all we stood firm through the midst. We had to stay strong for her. We owed it to her to stay positive and optimistic about the future. However, there was someone who was falling apart inside. Someone she trusted so much to name them her “most trusted servant” and that was me. It felt as my concrete walls were just gaining so much cracks. ‘We are destroyed and we will never be fixed' was the only thought that was going through my mind. Depression and Anxiety were my best friends during that dismal time. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even remember having sunny days yet the princess stayed vibrant through it all. While she had sunshine, I had dark clouds but I couldn't show her. I had to be strong for her and only her. I was eaten alive within myself. Anxiety and Depression always made me feel worst and I admired them for it. I welcomed them with open arms all the time just to feel loved by something other than the princess. As the princess got stronger, I continued to get weaker. Anxiety and Depression stayed by my side reminding me that everything was futile and I would soon depart from this world. Depression told me that I was ready to leave while Anxiety made me fear what would happen. They would bicker for hours leaving me more baffled as the days went by. Three months passed, Anxiety and Depression left me for a few days. Before they left, they warned me that Hope and Faith would try slither into my life and manipulate my mind. In a split second, Hope and Faith appeared but the words of Anxiety and Depression kept lurking. I gradually opened up to Hope and Faith. They fed me with words of encouragement. I refused to grasp on to positivity because I was holding on to my past with Anxiety and Depression. Hope and Faith fought with me until I accepted them. When I accepted them, my mind instantly transformed. I gained new beliefs and morals. I shone with light. Anxiety and Depression ridiculed me. Taunted me. Scorned me. My life became new again. The princess was gradually becoming herself again. Life was impeccable until he came. He appeared like an illusion. He appeared out of thin air. His name was Covid. His followers called him “a mysterious virus” because he was quiet yet so dangerous he could be deadly. He captured every country in the world. He was conniving that it was almost sick. We knew exactly what he came for: the princess. She had been through so much and nobody cared. We cared. We loved her. I loved her. We tried to save the princess but it was too late. His symptoms were already masked within her. He used her to attack us one by one. We couldn't save her! The rest of us had to save ourselves. It was unaware whether we would ever see our beautiful princess again. We stocked up on food and was locked away for almost a year. I was alone once again. I pushed away Faith and Hope. They couldn't help me. They promised me a life after being locked away for so long I was helpless and useless. Alone in my chambers where I waited, anxiously waiting to be released back into the outside world. Waited to be reunited with the princess. Waited to eat dinner with her, go on the beach and just be with her. Just waited. I was alone. I entered my own thoughts and just lingered there as the days went by. No one loved me. No one called or checked on me. I felt lonely. No one was there for me until my true friends returned. I begged Anxiety and Depression for forgiveness. I listened to the lies of Hope and Faith. I screamed and begged for them to take me back. Hope and Faith gave me this fake reality to look forward to. I couldn't handle being alone. I needed to escape. I shrieked for nights laying on the floor begging to be released from this prison. Anxiety helped me to succumb to elevated breathing, blurry vision and frequent chest pains. I rocked back and forth for nights. I laid on the floor for hours. The walls were constantly closing in on me. I was not safe there. My head was dangerous. Thoughts of ending it all seemed like the only escape to this misery Was this how I was going to die? Inside forever?

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