Because My Dream is Bigger than Krakatoa

“Habibie is doing something abnormal,” that was what the Indonesian media said, when a young man appeared as the crack man who comes from Indonesia. The headline news about Habibie in the early of 1990's remains me of myself. I remember, TV stations reported that a genius from Indonesia, who studied in Germany, just landed in his homeland. From the day he arrived on, he was asked to be the creator of a plane. Every time I put in an application of overseas scholarship, I always remember how Habibie fought against impossibility to reach his dream, e.g. designing a plane for Indonesia. His spirit never disappeared although Indonesians mocking him excessively. That story reflects my story in order to be successful young woman. Even until now, people around me ask, “Are you really pursuing Dr. Phil. degree in the UK?” It is annoying sometimes because they question it again and again. About five years ago, I registered as the participant of scholarship at Leicester to attend master degree. My comrades interrogated me, “Leicester? How can a student like you be a master student there?” Then, they laughed at me in front of the others. Honestly, I couldn't finish the application procedures because of IELTS score. I was cursing God back then. A year later, I took IELTS test in Jakarta which is more than 120 km away from my homeland. It was my first trip to Jakarta and searching for the direction to reach IDP Education. During the travel I was faced with different experiences, e.g. the bus drivers left me behind. Then, I should run up like a crazy girl. “Run!” the bus conductor yelled at me. I increased the speed that made me sweat a lot as if I was exercising because Jakarta was doubtlessly very hot in time. After asking anyone who knows Jakarta very well, I could find the IDP building and was on time. The failure of scholarship in Leicester is not the only one failure in my entire life as scholarship hunter. Totally, there are about 20 scholarships more in at least six different countries. As I failed so many time, people call me “The Dreamer”. It seemed that I gained more energy to get other scholarships. Finally, I was chosen as guest student at University of Freiburg to conduct a thesis research in Freiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg. This means, that I studied master program both in Indonesia and Germany. After struggling a lot within 1.5 years, I got Master of Art degree on December 2016. Once more, I was underestimated again after graduation day. People were laughing at me (again) for having an idea to write a dictionary about Sundanese in Majalengka because I am the native speaker of it. “The history tells us, that no Indonesians can write a high-quality dictionary,” someone told me. When I begged for help, nobody nodded. Then, I was driving alone around the district of Majalengka to collect the data because most of them stayed away from me. This 3-year-investigation results in a Sundanese dictionary spoken commonly in Majalengka and will be published this year. Ironically, when I submitted the manuscript to an India-based international journal on December 2018, the Indonesian comrades said, “It won't be considered to be published.” However, God thinks of another way. That manuscript was officially published on January 2019. It leads me to get an award as Best Academician in Linguistics from RULA Awards India, Idamas Learning Centre Malaysia, World Research Council USA, and United Medical Council UK. As the only one Indonesian who got chosen (although a bad experience happened because they put Dr. in front of my name which is totally wrong because I am still struggling to get Dr. Phil. degree), it is absolutely an honor to stand there at the stage and deliver the speech in front of more than 100 invited guests. It is undoubtedly good beginning as the new linguist and lecturer of Linguistics. Moreover, it proves that my hijab is not the big obstacle to get the highest achievement abroad because as the foreigner, I always feel that I am acceptable everywhere. No matter which country I visit, I am warmly welcomed most of the times. Almost at every single attempt people are mocking the effort I make to get overseas job. More than 30 universities in Germany responded my job application negatively. I waited for years to print invitation letter out to work in Germany. I am believing in something, “Where ever you are, God is always with you. By your side to protect you.” Recently, I am working in Germany and pursuing Dr. Phil. degree in England. So, I'd like to say to the dreamers, “Keep fighting! Don't ever be afraid for being a minority because the world is really friendly as long as you behave well! Your life belongs to you, not to others. And the world is so small that you can travel around every time.” Maybe Krakatoa is so big, whereas I am bigger. It is because I can move to everywhere at every time with everyone, compared to Krakatoa which still remains solidly in its place for the whole time.

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