Anxiety

I suffered from Anxiety. But now i'm over it, here's my story: I was nervous, i felt like i couldn't breath properly, but no matter how much people told me that it was all in my head, i just couldn't listen. I was worried, i felt like everyone around me was against me, and that nobody would listen to me, no matter how much my parents did. Having anxiety sounds wimpy, and stupid until you have it. It's terrifying, like all the bad emotions, and the bad thoughts are closing in on your brain. And unless you fight it, anxiety always wins. You don't want to go outside, and you don't even feel safe inside your own home, the place where you normally feel the safest. I have realized, that anxiety normally closes in on you, when you move to a new place, and for me it lasted about 1 to 2 years. And now it's over, i feel so relieved that i fought it, and won. The littlest of things can give you anxiety. My main causes were Big Cities, Being without my parents during things like School, Clubs/Football Practice, and Night time, going to bed was a real fear, and even though it was all in my head, i remember feeling like my throat was swelling up, so i couldn't breathe. It scares me, when i think about it and when i remember what happened. How it all started: It was one night, and my mum had a meeting two minutes down the road from my house, so my mum went, and i stayed with my dad and my brother and my two sisters. I lived in the countryside and just a year before that, we had moved from North Wales to the South of France. I was happy that we moved to France, but i also missed the UK. My mum had gone to the school, and was supposed to get back at about 21.00pm. But i didn't know that and so when she was gone for over an hour, i started to get worried about where she had gone, but my Dad couldn't really help, because he had never seen me like this before. I was in a state, i felt like i could barely breathe, even though now i realize that it was all in my head. At about 21.00pm i had to go to bed, so i nervously walked up the stairs, to my room, where after about ten minutes, i finally the relieving sound of my car, pull up on the gravel. And i can tell you that at that moment it felt better than ever! After that it all got worse, especially when i went to a big city called Toulouse after it all started. I felt circled by people, and buildings like they were all closing in on me, i felt scared. And at that moment the country side was heaven, empty fields, farm animals, mountains, small villages, and less people. If my parents were ever a little late to pick me up from school, i'd suddenly get scared, and even sometimes start to cry, but i was so worried i didn't care, even in front of my friends i'd start crying. But they'd understand, most people don't understand, because your parents being a little late, isn't that big of a deal, and now it's over i realize that. As i realize to the other people this didn't seem like much, but to me it was like the scariest horror film, but at least now i get it. It finally stopped ruffly two years after this incident, i just sort of grew out of it and now i'm, i recently visited some of the biggest cities in the world including Los Angeles, Paris, Barcelona, San Francisco, Oakland, and Las Vegas! My dream was always to go and live in the city, and so know it feels really good to be able to do so again. I now have a lot of hobbies, i still do football practice, and I've recently realized that i'm pretty good, at writing and I've been entering lots of competitions. My dogs are very good at keeping me company, and i also like inviting friends over, they also keep me company, but my anxiety has officially cleared up now. I really hope nobody else has to deal with it, because it is the most terrifying feeling in the world, and you're always scared of everything.

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CM KELLY

Professional Engineer, Coal Miner, Author

Norfolk, USA