At some indeterminate hour this afternoon (May 4, 2003), a guardian angel (or perchance more than one) hovered, spread protective wings, sprinkled stardust and expanded invisible spirit close overhead the innocent presence of our youngest offspring. Shana Aubrey Harris strayed away from her older sister (Eden Liat Harris) while both of the girls waited in line to experience the dry land attraction Ernie's Bed Bounce at Sesame Place (Langhorne, Pennsylvania location). In the blink of an eye, she obviously wandered into the din and melee of the crowd and seemed to vanish in thin air. We suddenly espied her ready to take the jump and leap into this large, springy air mattress. I let out a quick and short-lived sigh of relief. As if fate played a cruel hoax, joke akin to mirage oasis seen in the dessert, and trick on my eyes, this darling daughter no longer visible. I gingerly walked to the spot whence these eyes gleaned the diminutive four plus year old frame with nary a trace. In a state of high anxiety and panic, we retraced each and every square inch such a little creature could cover. A blind fear took possession of this otherwise calm, cool and collected male. An electric shock of horror rent the psyche asunder per my ordinarily blithe and tranquil spirit. Mad haphazard dashing movements hither and yon (with near calamitous collisions with various and sundry sized adults and children) inexplicably reunited this discombobulated father with his unperturbed progeny, who clung to such precious prized possession with tender, powerful love. Needless to say, an acknowledgement dearly paid to the mysterious forces of the cosmos. Silent thanks continually communicated and offered to that higher power (manual gesticulations to boot), which benevolent and positive force (which supposedly reside in some heavenly gilded vault) visited us (twice) as a savior that offered such dramatic salvation. Penance (Mike A.)still continued to be proffered (in more ample doses than usual) when exiting the parking area via a genuine token wave of the (left or right) hand to allow, enable and provide other visitors to leave and head home with their respective charges in tow. The object lesson delivered from this brief frenetic fright (which seemed to last an eternity) led to a personal re-awakening and self-actualization within my mental, physical and spiritual entity. Intense and profound surges of sentiments (foremost among these emotions epitomized by unbridled care and concern for this special and unique gift reproductive powers of flesh, bone and blood organic product) forced self-loathing to surface per the countless occasions anger and impatience flared toward the particular, pesky, predilections pronounced upon the biological product, who elicits some type of developmental delay. Rather than keep in check the near automatic bellicose and fairly frequent reactions (especially on account of quite challenging behavioral patterns as exemplified by a victim of biological circumstance), I readily admit to frazzled and frenzied tones of anger. No sooner does this explosive language escape my mouth, than immediate grief, regret and sympathy wells up inside. Verbal assault undeserved, unfair, unhealthy, unjustified, unloved and unnecessary especially when the child in question cannot be held accountable for inherent genetic weaknesses. Rather than respond with clenched (major artery and vein popping) jaw and hands (whereby whites of the knuckles show up clearly), the subtle realization dawned (quite some time age), that a much more sensitive and tender hearted response must be practiced (not just preached) in an effort to benefit the proper emotional development (aforementioned) lass of these tenderloins. An unfair disadvantage (no doubt) prevails with a recognized diagnosis of Autism (which syndrome affixed with the attendant clause not otherwise specified associated to the condition and affliction of Shana Aubrey), which disability and/or handicap sets the stage for unanticipated struggle, an unspecified number of years into the future. Whatever underlying causes (thus far only speculative hypothesis aired and offered as possible explanations for such obvious language verbalization skill deficiencies), the penultimate relationship (extant between this here daddy and second (last) female kin) reverberated loud and clear and registered an apotheosis of passionate ambition (akin to a religious moment of revelation and/or salvation) at the teary-eyed prospect (yet thankfully brief episode) of irrevocable and permanent loss. This wake-up call (to remain diligently keen to obliviousness sans danger in the outlying fields), an appeal to modify mean methodology and also appreciate those latent, natural strengths evident in the manual abilities bestowed upon this child. Many another boy and girl in much more confined, limited and plagued (by worse congenital conditions) as evidenced by the plethora of individuals in wheelchairs.