The Horrors of Living with Cancer.
Do you know what it's like to hear the word CANCER? This is my second round of hearing that word., Once was 25 years ago, and again last year. I heard stage 4 this time and when asking the doctor what it meant she turned her back on me. When she did that I knew it was time for a second opinion, and that's what I did.(To tell you what this Doctor did, there isn't enough space). Didn't have stage 4, but what I was told was just as bad. New doctors that explained exactly what was going on, and what the plan was that would save my life. Chemo started-phase one went well, phase two not so good. Chemo stopped new plan put into place and its working. 'There have been days when I sat and cried, trying to figure out WHY? Days that I cried how can I afford this, how can I pay for my medicine(over $3000) just to stay alive until surgery could be performed. Many days of screaming and yelling at my poor hubby telling him "stop changing things, I'm not dead ", stop treating me like I'm not in the same room. Pure hell as I look back now. The worst part was when I started loosing my hair-what a shock (actually thought it was the dogs shedding)-nope it was me. It was devastating and as I look back it was the worst thing I have ever been through. I had a support team that was unbelievable in getting me through that stage. My best friend had her hair shaved down to her scalp so that I wouldn't be embarrassed. Her doing that made me cry and made me realize that she was there for the duration. (There were others that spread vicious lies about me and my condition). Why would someone who claimed they were friends do something like that? . At this point in my treatment I couldn't go outside without a hat whereas I didn't want anyone to see me like this. After each treatment I would get sick and then three days later would be fine until the next round. For my own piece of mind I would go to our campsite for rest and relaxation, cry, and try to keep a stiff upper lip. My support team was there the whole time. They made me laugh, and helped keep my spirits up. If they didn't see me outside, they knocked on the door to be sure I was okay, had me over for dinners and went out for ice cream afterwards, along with lots of fires at night. These were the people that kept me going along with my hubby.(My hubby also got sick during this time with his sugar levels way out of balance, so along with my treatment, he had his own.Thankfully his is under control now). When you hear the words "Cancer" your whole life changes, You have to adjust to all the doctor appointments, the chemo treatments, along with staying positive. You sit and realize that changes have to be made. Stress is not an option for you at all. You don't need it in your life. I had to make a lot of changes, as there was a lot of stress in my life at that time. Hubby and I sat down and discussed all of our options, what would we do, how could we do it, and who should know what was going on. The hardest part of this was telling my daughter. From there we set up our support team and things started to go easier. The support team consisted of some close friends who are still on the team, and I couldn't ask for a better group. The next thing we did was get rid of the problems that was causing the stress. We moved our camper to a new place, got rid of the people in our lives that were causing the stress. That was the best part of all of this. You could say that we "threw out the trash". What a relief it was to have the stress gone. We have surrounded ourselves with kind and loving people, people who care and help if it is needed. What I am saying is this: when you hear that word "Cancer" , stop and think for a minute. Get your priorities in place. Sit down make a plan. Stick to that plan. Make sure that you have the right Doctors around you that will work with you, tell you what is wrong and what they plan to do, along with what you want done.. This way you wont have to go through what we did. Surround yourself with a team of people that will help when needed, give you support when you have a bad day, and believe me you will have them. Remember to have a sense of humor (you're going to need it). Laugh as much as you can, do what you want to, get a hobby or keep on doing the one that you have to keep your mind off of what is going on. My crafting helped me during this time., Take a nap if you need one, they are a good way to take a break,. Above all FIGHT like you have never fought before, you will be in the biggest fight of your life. I'm still fighting and looking forward to a better life, spending time with family and friends, Doing the things that I have always wanted to do: travel, crafting, taking photo's, yard sales and many other things, Remember stay happy, smile, laugh, love, and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.