Sometimes you find yourself in places you should never be. Whispering lies just to ease the pain, not realizing the crime for which you must pay. A life long slot within my mind of all the times I held back the tears that night. Wishing I was somehow anywhere but there with anyone but you. When you beg yourself after all is said and done, let's not ever do a thing like that again. Still, some days you feel it just like it was happening. You're mind shutters and your body follows. How you couldn't have for seen this misery before. Damn, how some scars never seem to heal. They just cause you pain and lack of love for yourself. They make you question all of your future goals and paths. God, they just cling to you like life support. And when you try to forget, oh how you try. You try to walk away for time and healing, but they drag you back. Do you think this is you're own eternal fires of hell? Regret. There is such a lack of love for our own mistakes. Isn't if funny how we can forgive, genuinely forgive others for their mistakes, but you cannot let go of your own. Yeah, its totally crazy to me to. Sometimes I imagine its like trying to swing the door meant to go only one way. We just hit that see thru wall. We know holding it against ourselves isn't healthy, but how do you just let that shit go? I mean its all control, right? We need to feel in control of our own pathway. We need to feel like we cannot make mistakes. So when we do, as we are meant to, its so damn frustrating. Like couldn't you have for seen this in our DNA? We are too weak to simply move forward. We need to analyze it a little more. Always a little more. Because the philosophy that no art is ever perfect is actually quite perfect. As we are Art ourselves. We are the potential to be altered. The creation to be created. The masterpiece to be spectated at.